I have been reading the posts on how to stay focused and not get nervous when you shoot a match, but I'm afraid that I have conditioned myself somehow so that I cannot talk myself out of the way I feel at matches. I really want to change because I really like shooting and the people I meet at the matches. But if I cannot change, I will have to quit, not just for myself but also for the poor people in my squad.
When I shoot at a match, I have a voice that runs constantly that tells me that I should not be there, that I am just not good enough, that I am just going to make a total fool out of myself. I get so nervous that if anything goes wrong on the stage, I get so upset that I usually have to leave to get some control and then I come back. I am so miserable that I have a terrible time and just cannot wait to get home. And, the truth is, I am not a very good shooter. I am barely a C class shooter.
I know it sounds like I am some emotional dingbat, but I am far from the person I become when I get so scared at matches. I am normally rather rational and not very emotional at all. I am a very thinking, task oriented person (ENTJ). I have no problem speaking in front of people, and I have competed at high levels in other sports. I understand that I should just go have a good time, to just compete with myself, etc, etc. But making myself internalize it is the problem. I really don't expect to win anything - it is not a competitive thing. Somehow, I have created a monster inside myself.
I badly want to be better and I enjoy the shooting a whole lot. I really want to get over this and just go out and shoot the best I can and that be just fine with me!
I have Brian's book. I was thinking about trying other books and starting some kind of program so I can change the way I feel. For example, shoot a local match and feel good about it, even if I come in last (which is usually the case). I need a way to stop beating on myself and start enjoying myself. Does anyone know of a way I can get through this?