You Know You're A Redneck When...2003 Edition!

[lynn jones]

Subject: You Know You're a Redneck When...2003 Edition!

> >

> >1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

> >2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

> >3. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

> >4. You think the Nutcracker is something you do off the high dive.

> >5. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

> >6. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

> >7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want

> >it.

> >8. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

> >9. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

> >10.Your grandmother has Ammo on her Christmas list.

> >11.You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

> >12.Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

> >13.You have used a rag for a gas cap.

> >14.Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

> >15.You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

> >16.You can spit without opening your mouth.

> >17.You consider your license plate personalized because your father made

> >it.

> >18.You have a complete set of salad bowls, and they all say Cool Whip on

> >the side.

> >19.The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

> >20.Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

> >21.You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

> >22.You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.

> >23.Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings

you

> >home.

> >24 A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of

> >improvement.

> >25.You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

> >26.You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty

> >

>

[Garfield]

[AikiDale]

Well lets see your dog use the port o potty