2 Minute Management Course

[lynn jones]

Lesson One -

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw

the eagle & asked him, "Can I also sit like you & do nothing?" The eagle

answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the

rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting

very, very high up.

Lesson Two -

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the

top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well,

why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"

: replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a

lump of dung, found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the

lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he

reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly

perched at

the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the

turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson - Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep

you there.

Lesson Three -

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze

and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow

came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the

pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was

actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to

sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow

dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson -

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy:

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends your management course.

[Little Bill]

Oh yeah, my boss is gonna get that one sent to him....bwahahahaha!!

[Skywalker]

Lynn,

very nice post, I was laughing so loudly my boss had to know why...and I let him know

BTW, the 3rd lesson is an extract from Sergio Leone's spaghetti western with Peter Fonda and Terence Hill (its title, translated from Italian because I don't know its english title, should sound something like "my name is nobody).

At the end of the movie, Peter Fonda, leaving on a sailorboat after making everybody believe he died in a duel with Terence Hill (Mr. "Nobody" in the film), writes Hill a letter which said those exact words.