Infant Discovered In Barn,

[dajarrel]

This is how it would be today..................

INFANT DISCOVERED IN BARN,

CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES LAUNCH PROBE

Nazareth Carpenter Being Held On Charges Involving Underage Mother

Bethlehem, Judea - Authorities were today alerted by a concerned

citizen who noticed a family living in a barn. Upon arrival,

Family Protective Service personnel, accompanied by police, took

into protective care an infant child named Jesus, who had been

wrapped in strips of cloth and placed in a feeding trough by his

14-year old mother, Mary of Nazareth.

During the confrontation, a man identified as Joseph, also of

Nazareth, attempted to stop the social workers. Joseph, aided by

several local shepherds and some unidentified foreigners, tried

to forestall efforts to take the child, but were restrained by the

police.

Also being held for questioning are three foreigners who allege

to be wise men from an eastern country. The INS and Homeland

Security officials are seeking information about these who may be

in the country illegally. A source with the INS states that they

had no passports, but were in possession of gold and other

possibly illegal substances. They resisted arrest saying that

they had been warned by God to avoid officials in Jerusalem and

to return quickly to their own country. The chemical substances

in their possession will be tested.

The owner of the barn is also being held for questioning. The

manager Bethlehem Inn faces possible revocation of his license for

violating health and safety regulations by allowing people to

stay in the stable. Civil authorities are also investigating the

zoning violations involved in maintaining livestock in a

commercially-zoned district.

The location of the minor child will not be released, and the

prospect for a quick resolution to this case is doubtful. Asked

about when Jesus would be returned to his mother, a Child

Protective Service spokesperson said, "The father is middle-aged

and the mother definitely underage. We are checking with

officials in Nazareth to determine what their legal relationship

is.

Joseph has admitted taking Mary from her home in Nazareth

because of a census requirement. However, because she was

obviously pregnant when they left, investigators are looking into

other reasons for their departure. Joseph is being held without

bond on charges of molestation, kidnapping, child endangerment,

and statutory rape.

Mary was taken to the Bethlehem General Hospital where she is

being examined by doctors. Charges may also be filed against her

for endangerment. She will also undergo psychiatric evaluation

because of her claim that she is a virgin and that the child is

from God.

The director of the psychiatric wing said, "I don't profess to

have the right to tell people what to believe, but when their

beliefs adversely affect the safety and well-being of others -

in this case her child - we must consider her a danger to

others. The unidentified drugs at the scene didn't help her

case, but I'm confidant that with the proper therapy regiment we

can get her back on her feet."

A spokesperson for the governor's office said, "Who knows what

was going through their heads? But regardless, their treatment

of the child was inexcusable, and the involvement of these

others frightening. There is much we don't know about this case,

but for the sake of the child and the public, you can be assured

that we will pursue this matter to the end."

[blackdragon]

yup!

Ivan

[Sam]

We would also like to point out that ABSOLUTELY NO ANIMALS were harassed or left unfed while said Child was occuping the manger. - Manger Management

[iainmcphersn]

DNA tests will be performed to determine if Joseph is the infant's biological father.

[blackdragon]

Ivan