Texas Motor Handbook

[Merlin Orr]

I used TX as I am a Texan. Please insert state of your choice.

Texas Motor Handbook

New Regulations in the Texas Registry of Motor Vehicle's 2004 Handbook:

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident Texas Driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit.

4. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with NM, AZ or Del plates. With no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in Texas during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Texas driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. Texas is the home of high-speed slalom-driving thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.

12. It is tradition in Texas to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

14. Remember that the goal of every Texas driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

15. In Texas, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.

Thank You,

[Dead Buff]

I used TX as I am a Texan. Please insert state of your choice.

African taxi's will do just fine....

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[tightloop]

[blackdragon]

Nevada!

Ivan

[LPatterson]

I'm sure you have been driving in Montana but you used Texas just to be polite.

3. Montana says if you can get to the intersection before the light turns red you are home free. DON'T ever try to turn on a yellow light as you become someone to aim at.

8. We did change from reasonable and prudent to a speed limit because we couldn't remember what prudent meant.

9. Since we only have 2 4 lane roads, I15 & I90 this also applies to all 2 lane roads. Sometimes on hills we have a passing lane that this might apply to.

11. Substitute deer, elk, moose and antelope for pot holes.