Stuff to think about

[dajarrel]

Subject: Some Things to Think About

1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me.

4. Some people are alive only because its illegal to kill them.

5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10. Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

11. I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing.

12. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

13. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

14. God must love stupid people; he made so many.

15. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

16. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

17 Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

18. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it.

19. I have a degree in liberal arts; do you want fries with that?

20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

22. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up three thousand times the memory on our computer.

23. HAM AND EGGS -- A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

[SiG Lady]

4, 6, 9, 15, 22...!

[blackdragon]

Oldies but goodies!

Ivan