Merlin Orr Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 Police have a sense of humour - "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun." "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop." "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." "Just how big were those two beers?" "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't! Sign here." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeeper Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't! Sign here." Damn would that be funny to hear being said to some barbi doll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Buff Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 I wonder how I would react to any of them in real life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Linch Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 I wish we could say stuff like that. It would be funny until they called the Sheriff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.40AET Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" All were great. Some were extra funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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