Thanks to all who keep me informed!!!

[dajarrel]

I want to thank all of you!

To all my friends and family, Thank you for making me safe, secure,

blessed, and wealthy by sending me your f @$% chain letters over

the last year. Because of your concern:

* I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

* I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these

products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

* I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from

the rat feces and urine.

* I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

* I no longer go to movies because I could sit on a needle infected wit

AIDS.

* I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could get

pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

* I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like a

wet dog on a hot day.

* I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a

perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are

actually Al Qaida in disguise.! &g! t;

* I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our

American troops.

* I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a

stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to

Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

* I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the estrogens they contain

will turn me gay.

* I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible

mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

* I no longer look at the opposite sex because they will take my

kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

* I no longer have a cell phone -- but that will change once I receive

my new Ericcson phone..

* I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive

my free replacement pair from Nike.

* I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have

their recipe.

* I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking

out for me.

* I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl about to

die in the hospital for the 1,000,000,000th time.

* I no longer have any money but that will change once I receive the

$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me since I participated in

their special e-mail program.

I want to thank all of you soooooooo much!! for looking out for me!

Now if you DON'T send this e-mail to at least 1200

people in the next 60 seconds a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00 pm this afternoon.

[old shooter]

Maybe I can give you a helping hand in a few days, I am expecting about 6 million dollars from my Nigerian Banking partner.

Mike

[blackdragon]

Man with luck like that, sure you don't live in Vegas? We need some new freeways built!

Ivan

[BradC]

When you get your 6mil, let me know, I've got some great deals on fake Rolex's.