I was studying my handgun shooting. I was working according to Brian' book, in which he recommends "observing" your shooting. He goes into a lot of detail about what he means by "observing", and if you're interested, I recommend his book. One of the keys is to let mental impressions of an event happen, but not to verbalize them.
Anyway, I have caught myself flinching, and got a good mental impression of why I was doing it. The flinch hasn't anything to do with pain in my hands. My revolver has nice, soft rubber grips, and it doesn't hurt with full-power 357 Magnum loads. I shoot 158 grain lead bullets to just over the 125,000 IDPA minimum, and recoil is negligible.
The impression I had as I involuntarily tilted the barrel downward was that I was trying to direct the muzzle blast away from my face.
That was a couple years ago. I still flinch sometimes.
I had occasion to discover why I do something else recently. I was on my way home from shooting, and I thought maybe I'd stop and have something to eat. Then I realized I wasn't hungry. Okay, so I won't eat. A minute later, it occurred to me again to stop and eat. This time, I observed why I wanted to eat. It wasn't that I was hungry (I wan't). It wasn't to have something that tasted good (I'm not a gourmand).
It was this: I enjoy the ability to pull money out of my pocket and get something to eat.
I don't know how a psychoanalyst would handle this. I don't know if that makes me "materialistic" or "a small man who spends money so he can feel like a big-shot". I just don't know. I do think I have the beginnings of knowing why I feel like eating or decide to eat without being hungry. That's all.
H. C.
