While at COSTCO

[Flexmoney]

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? On impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 40 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

[Bigpops]

"here's your sign"

[Carl Provan]

[Seth]

Thank you. I needed that.

[wide45]

Flex is yanking my chain.

http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=50498

http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=78310

[L-10_shooter]

Dude that is funny stuff right there, goes to show that there is such a thing as a stupid question.

[OpenShooterGirl]

I had actually planned to go to Costco tomorrow. Thinking about this story will make the trip, and the anticipated crowds, much more fun!

[nwb01]

That is hilarious !!!!!!!!!!!!

[GentlemanJim]

Thats pretty funny...its nice to hear it again

If I could only tell the real Costco story..but the wife wont allow it

Jim

[Flexmoney]

Flex is yanking my chain.

http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=50498

http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=78310

Ha...I searched for Costco.

Maybe a moderator will come along and merge it. (I'm on vacation. )

[AriM]

Thats pretty funny...its nice to hear it again

If I could only tell the real Costco story..but the wife wont allow it

Jim

wait a minute....you can't tease us like that.....what if we promise not to tell her....???

[jasmap]

Thats pretty funny...its nice to hear it again

If I could only tell the real Costco story..but the wife wont allow it

Jim

wait a minute....you can't tease us like that.....what if we promise not to tell her....???

Tough to do since she's a member of the board.

[dcbfluff]

After reading this tonight I went to a party with my wife's co-workers and told this story, deadpan, not a joke, first person (as though I was the one buying dog food). As soon as I started with "So I'm standing in line with an 80 pound bag of dog food in my cart" a woman I had just met at the party said "Oh! You have a dog?" and it was on...

Before it was done my wife left the room to keep from blowing the punch line, two women were literally crying laughing, their husbands were giving me the stink eye for being funnier than them,

....and I am not allowed to go back to that party. I don't care if Flex heard it somewhere else; it worked for me.

[Anubis]

Thats pretty funny...its nice to hear it again

If I could only tell the real Costco story..but the wife wont allow it

Jim

I give you permission since I wasn't the brunt of that one

[Flexmoney]

After reading this tonight I went to a party with my wife's co-workers and told this story, deadpan, not a joke, first person (as though I was the one buying dog food). As soon as I started with "So I'm standing in line with an 80 pound bag of dog food in my cart" a woman I had just met at the party said "Oh! You have a dog?" and it was on...

Before it was done my wife left the room to keep from blowing the punch line, two women were literally crying laughing, their husbands were giving me the stink eye for being funnier than them,

....and I am not allowed to go back to that party. I don't care if Flex heard it somewhere else; it worked for me.

That is freakin awesome!!!

[hitman]

Sad to say I got that very question in Walmart yesterday, worst part was it was from a fellow club member.

[Graham Smith]

Just goes to prove two things:

1. It doesn't need to be new to be funny.

2. The more plausible it is, the funnier it is.

[joecichlid]

ROFL Why screw with your friends, strangers are more fun to mess with. You should try leaving random shopping lists in carts at the store. One of my friends found one that read: Anikan is out of diapers, could you pick up some more?

I still laugh at that one.

Joe W.