My Mother Dear

[Don_B]

Brian,

You are in our thoughts and prayers.

This is a very tough time, I went through this last year with my dad so I know what you are coping with.

Be strong.

Don

[benos]

The support and love I feel from the thoughts and wishes in this thread is bringing tears to my eyes.

Thank you,

Brian

[JThompson]

You have done a lot for me Brian... I hope the bad stuff fades and the good remains.

Best,

Jim

Edited December 1, 2009 by JThompson

[joecichlid]

Brian, I am very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Joe W.

[leam]

Enjoy the tears, Brian. It's one of those things that we don't do enough and that keeps us human.

Just got back in town and saw that your mom had passed. Our condolences. Glad you could be there and say goodbye, glad she is out of pain now.

Leam

[benos]

One of the sad things for me - for the last several years, I call her every afternoon. But here for the last few weeks, she hasn't had the energy to talk on the phone. She's been through phases like that before, so I figured she would pull through and we'd begin talking daily again. And now every time I think about her, especially when it's the time I'd normally call, I realize I'll never speak with here again.

During a previous visit she told me a wonderful story of synchronicity. I asked her how her and dad met.

I was about 5 years old. At that time my dad was married to another woman, Mary. The marriage wasn't going well and they were in the early stage of divorce. My Mother Dear and Daddyo worked at the Wright Patterson AFB in Dayton. They worked in different departments, but ate lunch in the same room. They had become friends, chatting at lunch.

One day my mom said she was eating lunch, when my dad came in and said he had a strange feeling that he should go home. Mom said well he better get right home then. So he went home to find Mary packing the car, attempting to run away with me!

That blew me away. To wonder where my life would have went without being raised by Mother Dear and my Daddyo - of course I just can't imagine.

Fortunately I was able to tell them both before they passed how happy of a person I am, and what a great life I've had, because of them. And how thankful I was to both of them - for in my mind, they are the sole reason for that.

be

[atbarr]

The Great memories will last your lifetime.

A.T.

[3quartertime]

Thanks for sharing that Brian. My pops tells me about the time he met my mom over and over again. He's old and forgetful, but I think he knows that he has told me so many times. I think he wants to let me know how much that story means to him. He's a really horrible family type communicator so the whole father/son talk never really worked for us. But I never stop him when he tells me a story no matter how many times I've heard it...

Sorry to hear your mother dear passed on. Glad you got to be there. I'm sure it meant as much to her as it did to you and your family...

[jsneff]

Brian,

My sincere condolences, I lost my mother just 3 years ago, she was just 65, so I can share in your experience. I take from it 2 things from my perspective. 1) To rejoice in the life that my mother lived. 2) To make the most of what this world has to offer while we here.

God bless,

Jeff

[mlmiller1]

I am very sorry for your loss. I'll pray for comfort for you & your brother.

MLM

[benos]

... make the most of what this world has to offer while we here.

Yes! I walked around outside the hospital for quite a while... wasn't ready to leave right away. And over and over in my mind were the words, "There isn't anything on this earth worth hurrying for."

be

[Graham Smith]

I lost my father at age 12 and my mother when I was 32, I'm now 60 and have seen a few friends and many relatives of friends pass. I have seen people die after a long and painfull illness and others who went suddenly, neither are easy. But all death must be looked at in perspective or it becomes unbearable.

Recently I had a dear friend die in her sleep shortly before starting treatment for a cancer that was surely going to be fatal. Her death, while tragic, saved her, her husband, and her friends several months of slow agony. The only regret is that she didn't have enough time to speak with all the people she wanted to before her death.

It sounds like your mom had the time she needed and that's a worthy final note.

[benos]

I lost my father at age 12 and my mother when I was 32, I'm now 60 and have seen a few friends and many relatives of friends pass. I have seen people die after a long and painfull illness and others who went suddenly, neither are easy. But all death must be looked at in perspective or it becomes unbearable.

Recently I had a dear friend die in her sleep shortly before starting treatment for a cancer that was surely going to be fatal. Her death, while tragic, saved her, her husband, and her friends several months of slow agony. The only regret is that she didn't have enough time to speak with all the people she wanted to before her death.

It sounds like your mom had the time she needed and that's a worthy final note.

Thanks Graham. I am sooooo happy I was with her. I've replaced talking to her on the phone every day with just talking to her, about the weather, my dog, or whatever is going on.

be

[outerlimits]

i lost my dad over 9 years ago...i watched it all in the hospital room like you describe. to this day i remember it like yesterday. not a pleasant experience.

may god bless.

[-JQ-]

I am soo sorry to hear this Brian...and that it has taken me this long to respond.

If you need anything don't hesitate to contact me (us). I don't know much to say - but I'm a pretty good listener if you need an ear.

Peace be with you.

[SiG Lady]

One of the most empowering experiences we can have in life is to witness the transcendence of a passing of someone close to us.

[Micah]

All my best to you Brian.

[benos]

Today, at 2:15, my mom and dad's ashes were buried together in a small plot in a cemetery in FL.

Just my brother, his wife, and my sister were there. He called afterwards and said it was a real nice service, on a beautiful day in FL.

Dennis packed up 3 packages of memorabilia - I got them in the mail this morning. Perfect timing. So at 12:15 AZ time, we had a memorial for her here with me, BigJoni, and Michele - and went through the packages. Man is there some cool stuff! A jewelry box with all kind of awesome classic necklaces, pins and rings. Her recipe box on 3x5 cards. But the most fun item is the hat that she wore with Daddyo at all the Bianchi Cups and Masters they attended - it's loaded, and I mean loaded, with pins from all the matches. It's way cool. I'll get some pics of it up soon.

Thank you everyone!

be

[Bigpops]

God Bless you and your family.

I lost my mom around this time 2 years ago. I brought home the famous "cookie jar" that she could here me get into from a mile away.

Enjoy your memories!

[38supPat]

Not sure how I missed most of this thread, but wanted to add my condolances.

[AlamoShooter]

I remember a trail / path / at Glacier Nat park I was making the climb from the East side to reach the pass to see the West over the Continental Divide. Kept moving forward in a near hurried pace to round the next bend Hungry for the top. I stopped to tie my shoe and looked behind me to appreciate a beautiful view of the easter slopes out on to the plain / the place I had come from but not really appreciated it as much until I had a wider view of it.

Thanks for what your mother put into you and you shared us

[Jim O'Young]

Brian-

I just saw this post and want to extend my condolences on the passing of your mother.

I lost my mom (@ 85) in 2001 and my father (@ over 100!) in 2005. It was time and a blessing for both of them to pass as they had long and accomplished lives, but their bodies gave out sooner that their minds and spirits. Such is the cycle of life.

Almost daily, I think back to all the times we spent together and how they molded me into the person I am today. They evolved from being my parents who raised me, to my friends and finally into those who I took care of when they couldn't care for themselves.

Their memory and spirit forever live within me. The feeling I have is that they're still alive physically, but away on a long vacation with no return date.

God bless you, my friend.

Jim

[benos]

Thanks Pat, Jamie, and Jim.

Not talking on the phone every day with her has left a hole. But I still talk to her every day, and tell her things like how Mr. Tucker is doing, what the weather is like, and what fun stuff I've been doing. I can clearly hear her say, as she would when I told her something I was going to do like some hiking or going to see some live music - "Oh, you'll enjoy that."

be

[bierman]

Brian,

Wish I had seen this thread sooner. So sorry for your loss. My wife and I will keep you in our prayers.

Think I will hug my mom's neck a couple extra times this weekend when we head down to Waco.........

[AriM]

Dear Brian,

I just noticed this thread, and thought I would offer my condolences. It's never easy to lose the things that you hold dear. I have been through the same, and it does get better. I try to remember only the good times with those I have lost. My father still visits me in my dreams, so, in some ways no-one ever really leaves us. I hope you will have the good fortune, to remain in contact with your Mother Dear. Through dreams, thoughts, prayers and the memories that you hold. I wish you and your family the best, and offer my shoulder, if it's ever needed.

Ari M.