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Gun shop experts and their quotes


Sarge

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I'm at a local shooting range where the counter guy (a different counter guy from the previous story) is my friend Tom. So a guy comes in, he's all excited because he's going to shoot his Firestar .45 for the first time. He pays, goes out onto the range, Tom and I keep talking. Through the plexiglass we watch this guy, he puts up a target at about 10 feet and proceeds to fire a "group" (and I use the term generously) that takes up the entire 14" x 14" square piece of paper - when he's not completely missing.

After awhile he comes out to Tom and says, "I think it's shooting a little to the right. Can you adjust the sights for me?" I bite my tongue to stop myself from saying, "How can you tell?"

Tom says, "Give me a minute, I'll see what I can do." Goes into the back room, comes back out a few minutes later, hands the gun back to the guy, says, "I tapped the rear sight a little to the left in the dovetail, see how that works for you."

So the guy goes out, fires another turkey platter sized group, comes off the range and he's just beaming. "Thanks! It's much better now!" Goes back out onto the range.

Tom looks at me and says, "I didn't do a damn thing to that gun."

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Duane,

Similar story. Guy comes into the gun shop I work at with a Kimber Team Match 38Super that won't shoot well and is miles out and I have run out of adjustment on the sights.

I go through the drill.

Q/ What sized groups? A/ Quite Big.

Q/ What ammo? A/ 38 (my fault should have seen that one coming)

Q/ What brand? A/ X brand remanufactured.

Sigh on my part.

Q/ How far from the target? A/ Had to get real close to get a group

Ok leave it with me I am going to the range Friday I will check it, have you got any of the ammo to leave with me and I will compare.

Took handgun to range. Re-centred the sights

His ammo 4.5" at 25Y. Low and left but still within 3" of POA

My ammo 1.75" at 25Y. Low and left of POA.

Took targets back and showed the man.

He thanks me for fixing the problem but does suggest that I had should have sighted it in for him. :surprise:

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Back when we had to take deer to the local shop to register our kill:

A gentleman we supposed was Middle Eastern came to our shop on opening day and excitedly walked in asking us, in broken English, to come outside and see his very nice kill. We of course did, genuinely interested in everyone's good fortune. He dropped the tailgate and revealed a very nice, tan, well horned Billy goat. We were all falling into each other, crying, peeing ourselves when he drove off.

That was more than 20 years ago and I still laugh.

:roflol::roflol::roflol: I will be thinking of this one all day, thanks! :)

LOL...that reminds me of a story my Father In Law tells about growning up in Upstate New York.He had an uncle that had a goat greased during deer season,in his front yard,by some fellas that had come up from NYC.His uncle was determined not to let that happen again,so every season from then on,he put brightly colored coats on them.Yes,there is/was such a thing as goat coats.Which is why our opening weekend deer camp toast is "HERE'S TO GOAT COATS!"-Mike

We had an Old farmer back home that used to spray paint a his cows with a big hunter orange X on both sides right before deer hunting each year. He said the reason he did it, was that many years back, he came up on two "city" guys trying to load up one of his steers :surprise: into their truck after they had shot it.

They must have thought the deer in Northern MN run big. :surprise:

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An Army buddy from upstate NY,, had a similar story. The smartest people in the world from NY City would still shoot the Cows.

The farmer got smarter. and in florescent orange spray paint wrote COW on both sides, that fixed the problem.

Hard for a NY type to pass off a deer with COW written on the side tied up on the hood of their Car.

Yes that was another one of his stories. Cows on hoods…. No kidding..

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I was down at a local pub the other night and got into a conversation with some british guy that went a little like this:

Guy: I want to move to America so I can buy a gun.

Me: Really, what kind of gun would you buy?

Guy: A Glock!

Me: Which Glock, there's a few...

Guy: The porcelain one so I can take it anywhere and not have to worry about metal detectors!

Me: Okay dude, I'm gunna go get another beer, seeya.

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An Army buddy from upstate NY,, had a similar story. The smartest people in the world from NY City would still shoot the Cows.

The farmer got smarter. and in florescent orange spray paint wrote COW on both sides, that fixed the problem.

Hard for a NY type to pass off a deer with COW written on the side tied up on the hood of their Car.

Yes that was another one of his stories. Cows on hoods…. No kidding..

I have seen cows marked COW and horses marked HORSE while hunting in upstate NY when I was a kid. What a world we live in.

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My wife and I went into a local range and gunshop to get our CCW's renewed. I was using a S&W 642, along with my Glocks, my wife was using a 3" S&W 65, along with her Glock 26. The new kid behind the counter asks her what she is shooting and she tells him. He said " since you carry in a purse anyway, I would get something bigger; you aren't going to be able to hit anything with that short barrel". She said okay, and shot her quals- keeping everything in the 9 ring on a B-29 target. I walk into the range after she is already shooting and the same kid asks me what I'm shooting, so I tell him a 642. He says the same thing to me (less the purse comment). I said okay and shoot my quals- keeping every shot in the "X" ring.

We walk out with the targets and he looks a little sheepish. The other guys (who know me really well have heard the whole thing) are sitting there giggling. The kid says "well, I guess I'll shut up now" and they bust out laughing.

Edited by VegasOPM
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Oh man this is a great thread...

I've got a couple of good stories... Most aren't what ppl have said but more done.

The second time I want to a range in Cincinnati there was 2 two ghetto looking fellas (you know loose pants, huge shirts, big gold chains, speaking English but not really) wanting to rent a pair of guns for the shooting range.

Range Guy "Which ones do you want?"

Guy 1 "Glock 9mm"

Range guy "Which one do you want?" talking to guy 2

Guy 2 "the .45"

Now mind you there were about 5 differnt types of .45 ACP in the rental counter ranging from H&K to Springfield.

Range Guy "Which one, we have several"

Guy 2 "uhhh the .45"

Range Guy "Do you want a 1911 or polymer"

Guy 2 "uhhh you know the .45"

Range Guy "Why don't you try and shoot your buddies gun"

I turned around and left before someone got accidentally shot.

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Nemo: Ok, thanks. How much do I owe you?

You mean you actually bought the bag of mystery parts for $100?

You mean the baggie of their take-off's? No, I bought the DPMS for $75... OUCH!

Jaxshooter knows. The shop with the very big "TACTICAL" on the windows. :ph34r:

Edited by Nemo
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Local shop..customer: isee you guys got alot of thsoe S&W's over there with the big PD on them..whats that mean...

counter guy: Police Dept..we special ordered them a month ago...special offer from S&W... :o

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...guy has two big bowls sitting in front of him, one filled with filthy brass he's sorting, the other with....popcorn. His hands absolutely black to about halfway up to the elbow. I watch him for awhile. Sort some brass, black hand a mouthful of popcorn. Brass, popcorn, brass, popcorn.

Me: "Hey, man, aren't you worried about lead poisoning?"

Him: "Ahhhhh, that won't hurtcha."

Sounds like maybe he was already there...!

Edited by Xfactor
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man I can't help but laugh. and shake my head in disgust at times.

I am of the believe that you should carry the biggest gun you can hide in the biggest caliber you can shoot. because most of the time i work outside, on a farm, and animals range in quite different sizes. so in my youth i carried a 357 magnum. well the day the 357 SIG was made by GLOCK (same people that made my 9mm) i loved it i bought one. I have been in over 20 shops and asked for 357 Sig ammo.... ranges from "what's that" to .. handing me a box of 357 magnum WITH SIG ON THE SHELF saying these are the same thing. the boxes weren't' even the same damn thickness!

have had a number of people tell me " you can't hit anything with that short barreled gun" any more i smile and say.. no, YOU can't hit anything with it, I do fine.

I walked into a new range with a beautiful caswell system in place you could fart in there and not smell it! anyway. i get my target ran out there and i am shooting a match 22, I can shoot groups with ALLLLL day so i tried to warm up a bit before removing the X i shot the 9 on each side the 8 the 7 etc. then a 10 round one hole group in the center abotu the size of a dime with the target at 15 or so yards. so then these guys start selling the line of BETTING on the match they ALWAYS do it. i smiled and said "no thanks" because i knew it wouldn't really be fair. they keep talking and talking i finally and I finally pony up another 20 bucks, ( the last money i had ( college student)) well that night went along as i normally shoot and i walked out with 80 bucks. Profit.

more funny stuff as i think of it.

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I have a friend that owns a gun shop, he's not much of a shooter, but pretty good shot when it comes down to it. ( most folks are that grow up in wv. just the culture here nothing to do but hunt fish and drink)

i'm in the shop picking up a gun they are receiving for me. and 2 young black men come in, buy a jennings 9. ( good volume there are millions of these just laying around everywhere people don't shoot them or they wouldn't have them) buys 1 box of ammo, walks into the parking lot and loads the mags throws one in the gun sticks it in his pants and comes back in looking all around.( our population here is less than 1% black, 1% hispanic.) but some crime from them, we have interstates in our town and passers by are stupid. i tell the shop owner to hand me the 20 gauge on the shelf and 2 rounds. (double gun) which i had been looking at before. so i pick a spot beside where the guy is going to walk up to the counter at. and keep looking down the barrel of the gun "checking it out" after touching the gun through his shirt about 5 times on the way though the shop he walks up and says "can i buy another box of ammo those clips took it all" ...

i kept looking at the gun inspecting it. unloaded it and handed it to the owners wife who was there alone that day. Poor kid. stupidity never does supprise me any more.

another time standing in a shop some frikin kid walks in and racks the lever on a 30-30 and says "this is a hold up" gun was empty. so was his hand when he realized people were standing behind him with guns that were loaded in their hands.

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  • 1 month later...

Hey I got another one today. I went into the local "shop" again today. I said my buddy wants to compare an M&P trigger to the Sigma trigger to see how much better the M&P is. He laughs and says he gets that all the time. I asked what was so funny. He said the triggers are identical they just charge more for the M&P. :roflol::surprise:

P.S. they had really good prices on powder. N320 $40.00 a lb. And primers. Federal 209 Shotgun $54.00 k.

Edited by sandman
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Hey Sandman you must have just missed me at that place...

They told me that Wilson Combat wouldn't warranty ambi-safety because the original design did not include them...but what about the grip safety then?

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:roflol:

Hey Sandman you must have just missed me at that place...

They told me that Wilson Combat wouldn't warranty ambi-safety because the original design did not include them...but what about the grip safety then?

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I forgot this one...same trip.

I was looking at those 1lb jugs of VV320 and overheard a "salesman" talking to a potential new re-loader. He said that the reason he (the "salesman") didn't buy a Dillon system was "Dillon gets most of their revenue from selling Aero's. And if the demand for those goes down...Dillon wouldn't be in business."

Yep, you guessed it they ARE a Dillon dealer!

Edited by hk_mtbr
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I forgot this one...same trip.

I was looking at those 1lb jugs of VV320 and overheard a "salesman" talking to a potential new re-loader. He said that the reason he (the "salesman") didn't buy a Dillon system was "Dillon gets most of their revenue from selling Aero's. And if the demand for those goes down...Dillon wouldn't be in business."

Yep, you guessed it they ARE a Dillon dealer!

Where do these guys get this stuff?????

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I forgot this one...same trip.

I was looking at those 1lb jugs of VV320 and overheard a "salesman" talking to a potential new re-loader. He said that the reason he (the "salesman") didn't buy a Dillon system was "Dillon gets most of their revenue from selling Aero's. And if the demand for those goes down...Dillon wouldn't be in business."

Yep, you guessed it they ARE a Dillon dealer!

Where do these guys get this stuff?????

Their butthole??

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While racking a Winchester 870. "The most terrifying sound known to man." :rolleyes:

Jim

Doesn't Remington make the 870?

Heard in my local gun shop when I went to pick up my STI 38 Super Trubor "Why did you buy that piece of junk? 38 super is a terrible round, 9mm is more powerful and accurate" I told them I liked the challenge of an inferior round.

Was also told that 40 S&W actually stood for 40 Short & Weak.

Edited by GrumpyOne
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I read through all of these posts and laughed through the whole thing. So much so that I forgot to post my own quote.

One of the newer shooters at our local indoor USPSA shoot was having trouble with his 1911 jamming. I offered to look at it and took him over to the safety area. The first thing that I noticed is that it was bone dry. When I commented on this he said that he thought they were supposed to be run without oil. That sparked my memory that I had heard one of the local "Tactical Commandos" telling another newer shooter that 1911's are not supposed to need oil. Of course, I have yet to see one of the "Tactical Commandos" including this one ever have one of their Ultra Tactical Uber Custom 1911's run two full stages without jamming in one way or another.

Needless to say I advised the newer shooter with the malfunctioning 1911 to oil the thing or just suffer through the constant jams.

Chris

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  • 2 weeks later...

OK got a good one.

At a local store today, largest in Charlotte, NC. Asked the "smith" there if I could run a longer loaded 40 in one of the 10MM glocks.

He said "Why would you want to load a 40 Long? I mean if there was any pereformance gained by that don't you think the major ammo manufacturers would have that?"

I said ever heard of Atlanta Arms? They have a 40L major load.

"Nope can't say that I have. Are they in GA?"

Left as quickly as possible.

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Ok - I'll throw in - after reading this post completely, I am still laughing pretty hard. I absolutely love it!

We've all spoken out of school at one time or another. We heard something or read something that just made sense until we spoke it aloud to someone who knew it was crap! What is terrible about this is all the tacticool mall ninjas standing behind the counter. No wonder why there are so many missinformed customers walking around.

A few weeks ago I was in one of the local shops - the one that I never spend money in - and as wandering through the same selection of pistols they have under glass I overheard a tremendously humorous conversation between the 3 guys behind the counter.

The first thing I hear is, "We should really IPSC that..." This of course peaks my interest. They were talking about what they would do if someone approached the store with the intent of robbing it or causing bodily harm to them or a customer. They were going to set up a desk and door in the range and shoot through the door at a target "IPSC-ing" the proposed tom-foolery. I almost laughed out loud! None of these guys even know what IPSC is, let alone what they would do in a true defensive situation. By the way, their front doors are made of glass... While "IPSC-ing" that in the range, I wonder if they'll be replacing a glass door at every sound of the buzzer...

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