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Who Would Win?


rhino

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Kirk wins, obviously. The fight starts, Picard tries to call a staff meeting, and Kirk....kills him.

Besides, look at at Star Trek: Generations (I know, a fate worse than death, but....) Picard gets his butt handed to him - repeatedly - by Malcolm McDowell. So he says, "I know what I'll do! I'll go get Jim Kirk - because he's a big, beefy Irish brawler instead of an effete, tea drinking wimp, and have him kick the guy's ass for me." Which is exactly what happened.

You are obviously an erudite and perceptive individual.

In the past, I've tested people to see if we could become friends. I'd ask them, "Kirk (TOS version) v. Picard, hand to hand."

It's a two level test.

If they hesitate even for a moment before answering "Kirk!" I am very suspicious.

If they foolishly answer "Picard," I know there is no hope for them.

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Tightloop, maybe it's Ginger and Mary Ann vs Gilligan. Why else would that sly devil keep sabotaging all plans to get off the island?

I wanna see Godzilla and Incredible Hulk against Pee Wee Herman and Micheal Jackson. Yeah, I know who would win. But it would make a heck of a good 2 hour feature.

And yeah, I consider Jacko a fictional charachter. I mean, he definately ain't real. Go ahead and let him bring his monkey too. Soon as Hulk starts his whoopin, that monkey's gonna switch sides and start gettin' even. The monkey will have issues.........

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Dirty Harry or John McClane (Die Hard).

I'd go with Dirty Harry. One thing you have to say about him compared to modern movie cops, he didn't go hosing down the neighborhood with bullets. 'Course that's much harder to do with a Revolver :o .

Every other cop in this city is satified with a .38 or a .357, Why do you have to carry that Cannon?

'Cause I hit what I aim at, that's why...

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I wanna see Godzilla and Incredible Hulk against Pee Wee Herman and Micheal Jackson. Yeah, I know who would win. But it would make a heck of a good 2 hour feature.

Don't EVER underestimate PeeWee. He might seem to be the consummate wimp, but he's a boiling cauldron of evil whupa** inside.

Fear him!

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Connor or Duncan

Well, if you guys had ever taken the time to see Highlander: Endgame, you would know that Conner forces Duncan to fight him, and of course, gets his own sliced off. And then Duncan proceeds to go cut the other really bad dude's head off, becoming the baddest of the bad. Now, I just gotta go rent the Highlander in between so I can figure out where Duncan fits into this whole mess.

Here's one, U Law from The One vs. James Tong from The Tuxedo.

My bets on U Law..........

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OK -

Neo vs. Mr Smith.

I know - I know - we'll find out soon enough. But still - Neo can see the Matrix, Mr. Smith is a function of the Matrix. Neo's kicked his ass many times - over and over and over - but I think it'll be a good fight.

I'll enjoy! (while still nurturing Lara Crofts wounds - come to think of it - since I have bids on that - I win no matter who wins :P )

JB

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Speed Racer vs. Racer X...yeah, I know they are brothers, and I haven't seen the cartoon in about an eon, but I remember thinking as a kid that they should can Speedy and Chim-Chim (or whatever the stupid monkey's name was) and have more shows about X.

Here's how it plays out. Racer X gives Speedy one heck of a beat down with his fists, and all of Speedy's lame karate moves can't save him. Racer X steals the Mach 5, gets a running start at Speedy, uses the power jacks to go airborne, activates the twin power saws and decapitates Speedy. He shifts into reverse just in time to nail the monkey in a reverse bootlegger turn, or something. Stops to let the chick in (can't remember her name, remember thinking she was gropable :D ), and deploys the homing pigeon to tell Mom and Dad Speedy's dead.

Yeah, it is fratricide, but Speedy deserves it for being so much less cool than Racer X.

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Sim sim salla bim, you rich, blonde-haired BASTARD... and your little dog, too!

Azrael would scratch out Gargamel's eyes, then get the Smurfs to stuff their mini sticks of dynamite in his orifices. If you own a cat, you can understand how evil they sometimes are.

Matrix Revolutions looks BADASS! It's getting more Star Wars-esque, that's for sure.

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Agreed, Johnny Quest is a total wuss, Race Bannon is always having to rescue his little butt. Dr. Quest should send him over to Dexters Laboratory so he could learn to become a little more sinister.

Whoa! Speaking of sinister! What about Boris and Natasha VS. Mojo JoJo.

"Vee have finished off moose and squirrel. Now vee keel zee monkey."

"Boris dahling, careful not to distroy hees cute lee-tle hat."

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Since were on the topic of cartoon characters, how about Pamela Anderson vs Anna Nicole Smith? Joe Dirt vs Mr Buzzcut? Hank Hill vs Space Ghost?

I think Pam Anderson v. Anna Nicole would be a draw. Pamela is to skinny to do any damage and Anna Nicole would get distracted by the first shiny object she spotted. On the off chance she actually could concentrate long enough to land a Trailer Park Special Haymaker, she's snap Pamela's neck like a dry twig.

Don't know Mr. Buzzcut, but Joe Dirt . . .

Hank Hill could get the upper hand with one of his inspiration lectures about all-american propane and propane products, I tell you whut. But then Space Ghost would get bored and blast him.

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Methos would only have a chance if he cheated. He's been hiding from immortals as powerful as Duncan for most of his life!

How about this . . .

Amanda vs. Methos

Or Amanda vs. Richie (with one hand tied behind her back and a gunshot wound to her chest)

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I agree, good thing for Methos there are (nearly) no rules. A straight fight, Duncan would beat anyone. Even though we really haven't ever seen what Methos is truely capable of. After all he was Death, and you don't live for 5,000 years without picking up a technique here or there.

I don't think Richie is as bad as everyone thinks he is...of course he ain't good either.

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The French movie with Anne Parillaud as Nikita. She'd take on the watered-down, sugar-coated American version with the Fonda girl. There was a TV show? Whatever, she'd kick her ass, too.

Rufus, nice matchups. Mr. Buzzcut was the hard-ass P.E. teacher from Beavis & Butt-head, for you uncultured types.

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Sergeant Carter (from Gomer Pyle) v. CPO Sharkey (Don Rickles)

Ensign Pulver v. Hawkeye Pierce (from MASH)

Wonder Woman v. The Bionic Woman

Namor the Sub-Mariner v. Aquaman, King of Freakin' Atlantis (technically Poseidonis)

Powerpuff Girls in a 3-Way Battle Royale (I pick Buttercup, since she is the toughest fighter)

Daniel Boone v. Davey Crockett (okay, so they were real people, but still . . .)

Mighty Mouse v. Underdog

The Brady Bunch v. the Partridge Family

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