Dillonitis

[The_Vigilante]

DILLONITIS: A TAXONOMY

by R. E. Lohderer, M.D., Ph.D.

To date, research on health problems related to the hobby of

reloading have focused primarily on ingestion of lead dust and on

repetitive-motion injuries to the right arm and shoulder. This

research has ignored a family of potentially debilitating disorders

that have come to be known as "Dillonitis."

Dillonitis affects higher brain functions, affecting judgement and

social skills. While some forms of Dillonitis can actually lead

indirectly to physical injury, the primary effect of Dillonitis is to

cause inappropriate behavior that leaves the sufferer socially

isolated.

ETIOLOGY

The incidence of Dillonitis is fairly small. These disorders only

afflict those who own and use reloading equipment manufactured by

Dillon Precision in Arizona; owners of reloading equipment from

Hornady, Lee and RCBS are not affected.

Moreover, not all owners of Dillon equipment are afflicted with any

form of Dillonitis. Approximately 20% of those who purchase and use

Dillon equipment will actually develop Dillonitis. Unfortunately, the

noisome social behavior of those affected by Dillonitis leads to a

discriminatory effect that causes many people to shun anybody who

owns Dillon products--even the majority who remain rational and

behave in a socially appropriate manner.

It is clear, therefore, that exposure to Dillon equipment is the

inciting factor. However, the relatively low incidence of Dillonitis

among those who use Dillon equipment indicates that exposure to

Dillon equipment interacts with some other characteristic of the

owner to create Dillonitis. Whether this other characteristic is some

form of personality disorder or a difference in brain chemistry is

open to discussion.

TAXONOMY

There are currently three disorders that have been identified as

members of the Dillonitis family.

Dillonitis Newbyensis

This is a disorder that afflicts those first exposed to Dillon

equipment. This disorder is manifested in a lowering of certain

inhibitions and a marked impairment of decision-making capability.

The primary symptom is the creation of a large number of loaded

rounds using a load recipe obtained from an outside source, without

doing load development in small batches first. The subject manifests

an obsession, bordering on mania, with the number of rounds produced

per hour during the earliest use of the machine.

For some subjects, the ramifications are minor; the sufferer's

inhibitions and decision-making capability slowly return to their

previous levels without the sufferer coming to substantial harm. For

others, Dillonitis Newbyensis can produce one of two effects:

1. The subject blows up his firearm, possibly injuring himself or

those nearby.

2. The subject winds up with a large number of rounds that can't

cycle the slide, or that hit the ground between the firing line and

the target.

Previous use of other reloading equipment, particular a single-stage

press, seems to immunize new Dillon owners against this disorder.

Dillonitis Imperatus

This disorder typically afflicts those who have owned their Dillon

equipment for at least 2-3 months, usually longer. There is no direct

physical danger involved, as there can be with Dillonitis Newbyensis.

Instead, the primary effect of this disorder is to make the

sufferer's social behavior difficult for most people to tolerate and

thus lead to social isolation. Dillonitis Imperatus involves a slight

lowering of select social inhibitions, combined with a reduction in

reasoning ability. The primary symptom of this disorder is

inappropriate responses to questions about reloading and reloading

equipment, frequently combined with a note of condescension or even

outright hostility.

For example, when someone asks "Should I start with a progressive or

a single-stage press?" a Dillon owner who does not suffer from

Dillonitis might respond "You'll wind up with a progressive later, so

you might as well buy one now." However, someone suffering from

Dillonitis Imperatus would make a more hostile comment, like "You're

crazy if you don't start off with a Dillon. Anybody who spends time

reloading on a single-stage is an idiot." This sort of comment

denotes both the reduction in reasoning capability and the reduced

social inhibition.

In more severe cases, the sufferer will ridicule owners of reloading

equipment not made by Dillon. For example, if somebody asks "What's

the best way to adjust the primer feed on a Lee Loadmaster?" a Dillon

owner who does not suffer from Dillonitis Imperatus will make no

comment, because he understands and accepts that he is not equipped

to answer the question. However, someone suffering from Dillonitis

Imperatus will say something along the lines of "Ha! You should have

bought a Dillon! I never have any trouble with the primer feed on my

550!"

In extreme cases, sufferers will give recommendations for Dillon

equipment as responses to questions that have nothing to do with

reloading equipment. For example, if someone asks "What's the best

powder for heavy bullets in .30-06?" a Dillonitis Imperatus sufferer

might respond "Buy a Dillon!"

Dillonitis Defensivus

This disorder is slightly more rare than Dillonitis Imperatus, but it

is common for those afflicted with Dillonitis Defensivus to also

suffer from Dillonitis Imperatus. Like Dillonitis Imperatus, this

disorder combines an impairment of reasoning ability with a reduction

in social inhibition. However, Dillonitis Defensivus manifests itself

in defensive and frequently hostile responses to any suggestions of

problems or shortcomings with Dillon equipment.

For example, if someone asks "Hey, with only four stations on a 550,

you can't really use a powder-check die. Isn't that dangerous?" a

Dillon owner not afflicted with Dillonitis Defensivus might

say "Yeah, you have be careful and look at each powder charge before

you add the bullet." However, someone suffering with Dillonitis

Defensivus would say "Dillon is the most reliable equipment in the

world! The powder measure and the linkage never fail!" Or, if someone

says "I like the 650, but it's a little too expensive," a non-

sufferer might say "I know what you mean...I started off with an SDB,

and traded up over the years." However, a Dillonitis Defensivus

sufferer might say "You should just forget about reloading until you

can afford a 650--we don't need your kind involved in reloading,

anyway."

ROOT CAUSES

Research to date has not been able to isolate the root causes of any

of these disorders. Current indications are that there is something

in the blue paint used by Dillon Precision that has a psychoactive

effect on part, but not all, of the Dillon-owning population.

One controversial study is currently looking at the correlation

between the size of the male reloader's genitalia and the likelihood

of developing Dillonitis. The hostility of many Dillonitis sufferers,

combined with their apparent fixation on the moderately attractive

female models in Dillon promotional materials, has led some

researchers to hypothesize that Dillonitis is merely an unconscious

attempt to compensate for a real or perceived shortcoming.

Research on Dillonitis Newbyensis has focused on two possible

factors:

1. Toluene or similar fumes from the video tape enclosed with the

Dillon machines that have much the same effect as sniffing glue.

2. Subliminal messages hidden in the tape saying "go faster...you

don't need to be careful...be a man...go faster."

Interestingly, much of the funding for research on Dillonitis comes

from a group of healthy Dillon owners. Dillonitis sufferers do not

represent anywhere near a majority of Dillon owners, but they exhibit

such high levels of PITA factor that many healthy, normal Dillon

owners suffer hostile reactions from non-Dillon owners who have been

exposed to the unpleasant social behavior exhibited by people

afflicted with Dillonities.

TREATMENT

Dillonitis is a painful disorder. Other reloaders, tired of the

victim's constant offering of unwanted advice regarding Dillon

equipment, along with their frequent denigration of owners of

perfectly satisfactory non-Dillon equipment, either laugh at the

victim or shun him completely. While some Dillonitis sufferers seem

outwardly not to care about isolation or ridicule, the long-term

effects of such social isolation cannot be denied.

Unfortunately, treatment of Dillonitis is problematic. The most

obvious course is to eliminate any further exposure to Dillon

equipment, but this is so emotionally traumatic (both to the

Dillonitis victim and to those around him) that it is generally not

believed beneficial.

Some experiments have tried supplying victims with other brands of

reloading equipment, in the hope that the sufferer will come to see

that other brands are just as good as Dillon. These experiments have

not been successful, largely because Dillonitis represents a

selective departure from rationality for the victim.

Penile enlargement has been successful in some cases, but this is an

extreme treatment and more research is needed before it can be said

to be reliably effective.

In the meantime, most treatment providers simply ignore Dillonitis

sufferers and hope they go the heck away.

[AlamoShooter]

I just skimed throught the post....the guy is out of primers or the post would be shorter.

I Got It on the second line

[Rolex]

O ya- he must be "out" !

[MichiganShootist]

How does that song line go......??????

Too Much.... Too Much........ Time On His Hands

[SiG Lady]

He misspelled "judgment".....

He was also very stoned.

[CSEMARTIN]

This sounds very similar to Les Baeritis.

But Les Baeritis is far more serious and it's incurable. Even when a Les Baer owner is presented with irrefutable evidence that other 1911's are equal or better, they become extremely irrational, paranoid and hostile.

[Flint]

I seem to be in the early stages of an advanced case of this that falls outside the normal route of exposure. I had never seen or touched a Dillion. Is it possible that this has mutated and spread directly over the computer? I purchased a 1050 have yet to make one round and seem to be in some hypnotic state as I wander the country side seeking out lead, various explosive items with cryptic markings and little shiny things always grouped in multiples of 100, 1000 or even 5000 the other day. I randomly wake up in the dark on weekends and travel hours to go to "shows" but there is no movie, just massive herds of camo clad men gathering these things and taking them back to the Dillion and piling them up around Big Blue as if some form of "offering".

I am wondering if I am in the Bermuda Triangle of this malady? How so?

Sierra Bullets is literally less than 2 miles from my house. (They have small boxes with shiny heavy things)

Starline Brass is next door to them. (They have large boxes of light shiny things)

Midway USA, I drive by twice a day. I randomly stop there, ring the back door and a guy hands me a box. Looks like I got some type of device the other day that is designed for sending signals into space and looks like an antenna.

Is it too late for me? What about my family? It seems to be spreading as my brothers also bring boxes and stack around it.

Funny females seem to be immune at this point.

[SharonAnne9x23]

I have 2 Dillons, an RL1050 in 9x23 and a SDB in .45acp. Sadly I had to sell the RL1050 in .38Spl. $$ problems.

I have successfully use the Red and Orange brands of presses. I also had a disaster with the top of the line Red press.

Penile enlargement is of no interest to me. Not on ME anyway

[dajarrel]

Hard to follow that one

dj

[dajarrel]

As for the orginal post,

I have found that if one is an A$$hat before you buy a Dillon, you will still be an A$$hat after the purchase. You can't blame the Dillon

dj

Edited April 4, 2009 by dajarrel

[redintex]

SharonAnne, that was funnier than the OP!?!?!? :roflol: :roflol:

Of course, he only posted that because he is one of the unenlightened ones who has obviously not seen the light that blue is THE way to go, and all others are simply ways to wallow in mediocrity!!! We are simply trying to bring those unenlightened ones to the right side!

redintex