fiddler Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station..... And that's how the fight started.... ******************************************************** I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's how the fight started…. ******************************************************** After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt r evealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security 0Aapplication. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too. ' And that's how the fight started..... ********************************************************* My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And that's how the fight started..... *************************** ****************************** I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then, which one are you?' And that's how the fight started..... ******************************************************** I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter took my order. 'I'll have the strip steak, rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's how the fight started..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-JQ- Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I sent these to my girlfriend ...and that's how the fight started Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Keen Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I sent these to my girlfriend...and that's how the fight started She was at my house when we read them together ... ...and that's how the fight started ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcarter Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I sent these to my girlfriend...and that's how the fight started She was at my house when we read them together ... ...and that's how the fight started ! The trouble is.....His girlfriend is Chris's sister ...and that's how the fight started. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-JQ- Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 doh...I thought she was Paul's sister... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 The SiG Lady is laughing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wide45 Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Don't get me started.... http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=69284 http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=56815 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coolduckboy Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road andslowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then, which one are you?' And that's how the fight started..... I don't care who you are, that is funny right there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XD Niner Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, “What's on TV?” I said, “Dust.” And then the fight started... ========== My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 180 in about 3 Seconds.” I bought her a scale. And then the fight started... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisStock Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And then the fight started.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ken hebert Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 My wife saw my posts in the "gallery", and thats how the fight started... j.k. , she rolled her eyes at me and laughed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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