gm iprod Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 A man was standing next in line at a checkout, when the attractive blonde woman in front of him turned around and gave him a big smile."Hello," she said, as she waited for her change. "Er, I'm sorry. Do I know you?" The man said in some confusion. "Oh, my mistake. I thought you were the father of one of my children," She said apologetically, and picking up her shopping, she left the store. The man was astonished. He thought, how amazing that a good looking woman like that should have forgotten who fathered her children. Then he began to worry. He had had an encounter in his youth that could have resulted in a child he didn't know about. She had been blonde, pretty, and about the same height. On leaving the store, he saw the woman getting into her car. He ran over to her and said, "Look, you couldn't have been the girl I met that night at a party in Hampstead, in 1980 could you? We shagged on the billiards table in front of everyone, things got really wild and I got so drunk that I didn't get your number." The woman looked utterly outraged and said, "No! I'm your son's English teacher." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
folsoml Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Open mouth, insert foot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carinab Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made kinky love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching???" She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentlemanJim Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 ooops Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Middle Man Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 The most simple answer is often the most difficult to imagine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Moneypenny Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 hehe.. that's a much cleaner version than the one i have heard.... i was wondering how you would have posted that one here..... ok back to playing with the bad kids again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BBunin Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 Just goes to show ya: A simple "Excuse Me?" can buy you that extra second that can mean ALL the difference! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap & Rack G33 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS... A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my rear end with wet celery?" She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher." Tap & Rack to clear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PINMAN44 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyZip Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!+1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?'To which she replies, 'I think you're the the father of one of my kids.' Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery??? She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No. I'm your son's teacher.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WDB Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 LMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisStock Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 CONTACT!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miranda Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Aikidale, Today you will want to find a way to imitate Harvey... good joke BTW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Aikidale,Today you will want to find a way to imitate Harvey... good joke BTW. "Oh, yes! Yes. Yes - these things always work out just the way Harvey says they will. He is very, very versatile. Did I tell you he could stop clocks? Well, you've heard the expression 'His face would stop a clock'? Well, Harvey can look at your clock and stop it. And you can go anywhere you like - with anyone you like - and stay as long as you like. And when you get back, not one minute will have ticked by. ... You see, science has overcome time and space. Well, Harvey has overcome not only time and space - but any objections." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wide45 Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Don't dwell in the past... http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=62584 http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=45732 http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=25859 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Burtchell Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Well, it's still as funny as hell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Don't dwell in the past...http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=62584 http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=45732 http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=25859 This is just terrible. Either I missed reading a joke here, which would be just awful, or my mind is going. "Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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