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My Wife (10-29-05) ....3 years ago today

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A bump for those who have recently lost loved ones.

Also, now at 5.5 years in, I can say that time does help with the pain. I always hated hearing that from people when it was so fresh...I still miss her daily but the sharp, ripping, stabbing pain has transformed into just a dull ache - and that better I guess. Then some days.... :angry2:

Peace to all those suffering.

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I've read this several times and still get chills. Thanks for sharing.

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Took a lot of strength and courage to post this. I don't know you but you have earned my respect. Nice job posting this list. I'm 26 and on the verge of starting out with my girl. Can't even imagine it. But I value some of the things on the list i have never thought about.

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Took a lot of strength and courage to post this. I don't know you but you have earned my respect. Nice job posting this list. I'm 26 and on the verge of starting out with my girl. Can't even imagine it. But I value some of the things on the list i have never thought about.

This young man's post is the reason why these types of threads are so important. Keep valuing the things in life that make you think for the first time. It's called life experience. Some good some bad. Best of luck to you and your gal. :D

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If I may add something, if someone in this situation has young kids at home, it helps to find something new to do as a family. Of course you might find yourself with a yard full of horses, but it helped my kids. My son was a second grader and daughter in 5th. Now she is graduating next month and he is starting shooting with me. Did I ask if anyone wanted to buy a horse? LOL! Anyway, the original post is so true. Even when things are good, and that's most of the time for me, the grief monster can rear its ugly head.

B

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BobS761 welcome to the board and please accept our condolences.

Thanks for adding to the thread, too. We all need all the help we can get.

And your right on with the grief monster resurgence...I had one right out of the blue the other day myself.

Horses... no thank you! Good luck with that :)

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What a great post. You opened up a door with a community I never thought would have people who shared each other's pain.

I lost my husband 10/14/2005. I was 21 and we had only been married 8 months.

They say time heals, but it still feels very new sometimes.

I agree about what you said about not knowing what to say to other people- sorry for your loss just sounds, well, bleh.

And I also agree wholeheartedly with what you said about there being no amount of time to start dating. It took me a little over 7 years to realize that it is okay to let another person make me happy.... I feel very blessed to have him in my life, and know my husband would be happy for me too.

Anyway, thank you all again for sharing your stories.

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The advice given in the op is excellent. I went through similar 12 years ago when my wife was fatally injured in an accident on our wedding day.

One thing I learned during that experience I would like to add to the list is to accept people expressing their condolences with grace. I got to where when someone was walking up to me I almost knew what someone was going to say before they said it and I dreaded it. But somewhere along the line I realized it was harder for them to say than for me to hear it. Be gracious and thank them for their thoughts.

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But somewhere along the line I realized it was harder for them to say than for me to hear it. Be gracious and thank them for their thoughts.

This ^^^^^

Thanks for adding here.

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I cannot speak to the acceptance part but I have been through a recent loss of one of my best friends. He was overseas at the time and I was the one to deliver the news to his wife and daughter. I try not to think about it but the thoughts of what I had to tell them is still gut wrenching. I speak to them often and try to never say sorry when they are telling me what they are going through because I know that is a word they are tired of. I feel so selfish at times for hurting when they are going through so much more, but damn I am still having a hard time with this.

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Just bumping this for a friend with a recent loss...

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I lost both my parents when I was young; my Father at 6 yoa and my Mother at 16 yoa.

I retired from Law Enforcement on Nov 30, 2011 after 40 years. I cannot remember how

many times I had to tell parents or spouses that their loved ones had died. Regardless

of how they died it was always difficult.

If you are friends or relatives, just being there for them means more than you'll ever

know. If you have to deliver that horrible news may God give you the words to say.

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Just read through this thread again for the 5th time.

Some of you know that my dear wife is slowly dying of metastasized breast cancer.

I am her caregiver (have lost my job to do so) and for months now I sit and watch her decay.

In-between her endless hours of sleep she has moments of lucidity mixed in with dementia.

Perhaps this is a test, perhaps karma owes me this, perhaps happenstance is at play. I just

know that my dear girl should not have to leave this earth so soon. And to have to suffer the ravages of this

insufferable disease while waiting her time is brutal for both of us.

 

 

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1 minute ago, P.E. Kelley said:

Just read through this thread again for the 5th time.

Some of you know that my dear wife is slowly dying of metastasized breast cancer.

I am her caregiver (have lost my job to do so) and for months now I sit and watch her decay.

In-between her endless hours of sleep she has moments of lucidity mixed in with dementia.

Perhaps this is a test, perhaps karma owes me this, perhaps happenstance is at play. I just

know that my dear girl should not have to leave this earth so soon. And to have to suffer the ravages of this

insufferable disease while waiting her time is brutal for both of us.

 

 

This breaks my heart. This entire thread is incredible.

I love my wife with every fiber of my being and I can see you do too.

I wish you strength.

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I'm so sorry Pat. My prayers are with you and your wife. God bless. Peace be with you. 

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I wish I knew something wise and comforting to say, Pat. 

Best thoughts and warm wishes inbound for you both.

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My friends(we're all in this life thing together), we're given some of the greatest wonders of the world in our relationships and unfortunately that time runs out no matter how long.

I'll tell you though (being a hospice nurse) this life is but a small blip and there's so much more after earthly life. I'm not here to be a Bible thumper or shove my faith down your throat but what a boring existence if it's just this?

We all wish we could take away the hurt of the loss from all of you that have shared but know that we will all go through it at some point and God- willing we'll be able to borrow some strength from you. You're never alone and I'm here if you ever need a shoulder to lean on or an extra rig to go shoot some alphas to help decrease the hurt. Please reach out if you ever need to!

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

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