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A FEW SIMPLE RULES TO MAKE LIFE MORE FUN


Chris Keen

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A FEW SIMPLE RULES TO MAKE LIFE MORE FUN

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

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Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

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For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

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A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

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If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You'll be afraid to cough.

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You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

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I was becoming a true believer until I got to the last two. I just couldn't resolve this apparent conflict:

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

If I only need WD-40 and duct tape why do I have a hammer? Or should I have a hammer. Does having a hammer show a lack of faith in in only having the two tools in life mentioned above? If it is an electrical problem and I don't have a hammer can I fix it with WD-40 or duct tape?

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A FEW SIMPLE RULES TO MAKE LIFE MORE FUN

Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

I can safely say from experience that this one only works if the woman doesn't catch you :(

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Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time!

:sick:

And you know how they always teach you to keep water and electricity apart? How come every time I go on a service call it's nearly always about water and electricity being together in a bad way?

Why will the bottom of the water heater nearly always fall out just as you pull out of the driveway on a 2 week trip?

Have you noticed the similarity's between a large caliber hand gun and a big hammer? I like big hammers!!

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