al503 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I'm getting married to my g/f (post 238 here: http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?...302&st=225) of 5.5 years this October. We were planning on going to Maui with our immediate families but her mother, due to her health, is not able to fly. After an extended search, we ended up booking a hotel, going with the one that put the most lube on the oversized stick being shoved up my a$$. What a racket! Besides the price of the buffet, which I thought was ridiculous BEFORE I knew it didn't include anything but water, they tell me soda/iced tea/lemonade/milk is $2.75 and $2.75 for each refill, with mixed drinks and wine are $8-$20 per glass. The cake? We went to a friends birthday party a few weeks ago and loved the cake (not too sweet) that was from a local bakery. We called the bakery and the cake was about $95. It was big enough to feed the 30 people at the party and the pieces were big. (I had two pieces because they were that good and I'm weak.) We then ask about getting the same cake for the wedding. All of a sudden, it's $8.50 a person for a piece about half the size people were taking at the party. Why is it so much more? They put that white shroud over the cake that makes it look all smooth and stuff. We figure that if it wasn't a 'wedding' cake, we could get enough cake for everyone for less than $200. Because it's a 'wedding' cake, it's going to cost us about 3 times that much for less cake. Oh yeah, there's a $65 delivery fee (the option of picking it up is not an option) and the hotel charges a $75 'make Al bleed a little more' aka 'cake cutting' fee. The flowers are going to cost the equivalent of brazos pro sx and the florist is worried that they can't do anything decent for that amount. At least my g/f feels the same as I do and isn't trying to get me to spend more $. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
larry cazes Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Al, I feel your pain Went through this 12 years ago and I found that it is best to just go with the flow on this one and just pay the bill. Thank god most weddings have open bars! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
p99shooter Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Anything wedding related, the price goes up by a factor of 5 "I'd like some pictures taken of my and my family, how much will it cost?" "We charge $200 for that ..." "Oh, BTW, it's at a wedding" "That'll be $1000 then" Same with food, DJs, rooms, everything. I hate it too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EZ Bagger Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 The cheapest part of being married is the wedding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyZip Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 My Wife taught me the meaning of frugal while planning our wedding! We had our wedding at a restaurant that had a big grassy back area. WAAAY cheaper than a hotel or C.C. We had a friend do the floral design and the wedding party got drunk and put the stuff together after the rehearsal dinner. This was actually fun! I built the trellis type thingy for up at the alter with some 1x and wood screws and painted it with cheap paint. I think that cost me $20 at the time. We did have open bar for the first four hours, but not after that. We served pizza and pastas, (no red sauce unless you requested some from a waiter) Cheap and to this day everyone says that they thought the food was great. ( They actually ate all the food! And we over ordered!) That is more than I can say for most weddings where you get some cheap wannabe chicken. She bought her dress at an outlet when it was on sale and talked them down on alterations. Still she looked fabulous. Hair for all the ladies and the MOTB was done by the maid of honor as that is what she does for a living. Rehearsal dinner was that southwest pig cooked over the coals in my in-laws back yard with my friends band and kegged beer or good wine. cheap and everyone who doesn't know eachother can get liquored-up and get aquainted. But with all that informality and frugality, I am one of those people who LOVES CAKE! I paid heavily and tried cake at many bakeries. I think I spent $1500.00 on that thing. I found the one I wanted in a design ad. (Used to work in that field) I found a cake that I liked and said "Make it taste like this and look like that" I know that seems odd, but with everything being about the bride, and me liking, no LOVING cake, I really wanted that cake to be remembered. Boy was it ever! You know how you are supposed to eat the top layer on your anniversary? Well, the wedding revelers ate the damn thing! Its cause it was so damn good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Santiago Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I'm going through that now with my son. 1500.00 for pictures!!!!! 600.00 for a frickin' cake!!! (what's wrong with twinkies?) flowers? about 2000.00.. for something that will be dead in a week. In fairness, neither one of them are too happy about the costs either. (so why are they still doing it?) My wedding cost me 25.00 for the minister 30+ years ago. period. (oh and some beer and boone's farm) grrrrrr..... i'll be glad when it's over and I'm glad I don't have girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhgtyre Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 We spent less than $500 bucks and have been married for 22 years. -ld Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el pres Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Vegas !!! Drive through Chapel !!! After that, you spend all the money that would have been wasted on people that claim to be your friends on fun stuff, like gambeling and live shows!! Best weekend you'll ever have, after all it's "your" wedding... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
al503 Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 We spent less than $500 bucks and have been married for 22 years. -ld I hear ya. If it were up to me and Maria, we would either go to Vegas or go to Maui alone (which still isn't cheap but it would be a hell of a lot simpler) and get it done. Unfortunately, we have to respect our parent's requirements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooter Grrl Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Vegas !!! Drive through Chapel !!! After that, you spend all the money that would have been wasted on people that claim to be your friends on fun stuff, like gambeling and live shows!! Best weekend you'll ever have, after all it's "your" wedding... SHAMELESS FAMILY PLUG Be sure to use Vegas Weddings if you do get married in Vegas. RB's sister runs the place - tell her we sent ya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFlowers Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 My wife was in the Wedding Planning/Catering business for several years. But in the end it got to the point that you had to charge prices that made you look like a horses butt or not turn any profit at all. Finally she got so fed up with it all she closed up shop and went on to other businesses. She actually built a pricing charge one time that took into account the number of decision makers (one of the biggest headaches and money burners in a wedding). Bride/Groom one price, Bride/Groom/MotherInLaws another price, Bride/Groom/MotherInLaws/Bride's Best Friends/Grandmother/Aunt Shirley/Sister Veronica charge enough to redo all the plans and prep for the wedding four times because you basically will. One of the things that always staggered folks was the cost of an open bar. We usually did an X people by X drinks by X hours estimate. One couple backed off when they saw the estimate but the father was determined to have a bar and wanted to pay for actual drinks rather than flat charge. The bill was more than our estimate!!!! By the way, my wife and I ... we went to the Justice of the Peace!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 My own wedding was cheap, but my daughter's wedding started with Vera Wang and went from there...just open your check book and zip your lip....best for everyone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyZip Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I have three girls! I hope they run off to Vegas! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I'm getting married to my g/f (post 238 here: http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?...302&st=225) of 5.5 years this October. We were planning on going to Maui with our immediate families but her mother, due to her health, is not able to fly.After an extended search, we ended up booking a hotel, going with the one that put the most lube on the oversized stick being shoved up my a$. What a racket! Besides the price of the buffet, which I thought was ridiculous BEFORE I knew it didn't include anything but water, they tell me soda/iced tea/lemonade/milk is $2.75 and $2.75 for each refill, with mixed drinks and wine are $8-$20 per glass. The cake? We went to a friends birthday party a few weeks ago and loved the cake (not too sweet) that was from a local bakery. We called the bakery and the cake was about $95. It was big enough to feed the 30 people at the party and the pieces were big. (I had two pieces because they were that good and I'm weak.) We then ask about getting the same cake for the wedding. All of a sudden, it's $8.50 a person for a piece about half the size people were taking at the party. Why is it so much more? They put that white shroud over the cake that makes it look all smooth and stuff. We figure that if it wasn't a 'wedding' cake, we could get enough cake for everyone for less than $200. Because it's a 'wedding' cake, it's going to cost us about 3 times that much for less cake. Oh yeah, there's a $65 delivery fee (the option of picking it up is not an option) and the hotel charges a $75 'make Al bleed a little more' aka 'cake cutting' fee. The flowers are going to cost the equivalent of brazos pro sx and the florist is worried that they can't do anything decent for that amount. At least my g/f feels the same as I do and isn't trying to get me to spend more $. You didn't tell us how much for the photographer. Too painful? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
al503 Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 just open your check book and zip your lip....best for everyone... It is what it is and I've been letting Maria and my sister do all of the planning. My sister says I should be more involved but it's probably best that I'm not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
al503 Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 You didn't tell us how much for the photographer. Too painful? They haven't sprung that one on me, yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markm Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 My neighbors daughter just got married, after looking at her plans and doing a budget, he offered to put the same amount down on a house for them and hold the wedding in the back yard...... they took the deal, better for both of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 just open your check book and zip your lip....best for everyone... It is what it is and I've been letting Maria and my sister do all of the planning. My sister says I should be more involved but it's probably best that I'm not. It is scary what it costs...a small wedding under 100 guests can easily run 40 or 50K...everybody has their hand out. I offered my daughter a long ladder to elope and was turned down flat, can you imagine declining a perfectly good extension ladder? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
al503 Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 I offered my daughter a long ladder to elope and was turned down flat, can you imagine declining a perfectly good extension ladder? Gawd! We would have jumped on that in an instant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritinUSA Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 One option for photos; Get a whole bunch of those disposable cameras. Put 2-3 of them on each table and tell the guests to take lots of pictures as the day progresses. Collect them all at the end and get them developed. You'll get tons of great pictures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hank Ellis Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Being 40+ and sans parents when the wife and I got married 5 years ago, we were well aware that any costs were coming directly out of our pockets. We did well for under $10,000. Close family friend that needed another wedding shoot for his resume to do the still photography. Cost of film and developing. Family friend in in the video business did the video in lieu of a wedding gift. Free. Networking through our friends we found a cake at a very reasonable price. $250 if I recall and the grooms cake was another $50. Another friend of ours. Lawyer, deep in our Mardi Gras Krewe. He just happens to be a JP. Free. And besides if it doesn't work out, we can blame it on him. He'll probably give us a discount on the divorce papers also. We wanted the wedding location, reception for 120, and the band be where the bulk of money is spent. Wedding was held in the grand ballroom of Nottoway Plantation just a few miles down the road. Reception was at the modern Randolph Hall on the grounds. Don't remember the cost of the bar and buffett but it was the bulk of our wedding costs. Music was local blues legend Tabby Thomas and his band. $1500. Sure, there were other expenses. She paid for the dress. I paid for the honeymoon. The rings. Oh, yeah the rings. Another friend of ours used to be in the family jewelery business but went on disability years ago. He came over one night and we designed our rings over the kitchen table. My cost for the rock and gold casting was $1600. The ring has been appraised for $6000. When I hear the average wedding is $25,000 we just choke. It's a racket and with a bit of work you can have a fairy tale wedding at a paupers price. One bit of advice to the groom. There will be a time in the wedding preparations that you gotta let go of the reins and let the horse take you where it wants to go. Lestwise you'll be bucked off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j2fast Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Nothing all that exciting about my wedding cost wise; the wife got everything she wanted without breaking the bank and 7 years later people still tell us how much fun they had at the reception. So since I'm boring I'll give you this story: I had a cousin who's fiance's parents (who were/are very well off) had just divorced the year before he proposed. Apparently the divorce was pretty messy and a year later they were still at each others throats. Her mom was planning a large expensive wedding even though her daughter wanted something small and simple. Well as the estimated cost kept rising the father wasn't happy so he offered my cousin and his wife to be to be a check that according to family gossip exceeded what the wedding was going to cost (supposedly six figures). The kicker was they had to either go the Vegas or justice of the peace route and then he would cover what ever kind of small reception the daughter wanted. Not really sure about anyone's relationship with the mother but they ended up with a nice down payment on a house as well as a nice little nest egg that they invested. That was about 10 years ago and they are still happily married and now have 3 kids. Almost forgot, congrats Al. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squishy Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I have 2 daughter's. I can't wait! Just shoot me now. Just kidding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nik Habicht Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Al, Congratulations! We're coming up on 21 years, and we managed to get hitched for less than $200. We got married by the mayor, in a gazebo in a municipal park --- no fees there other than the wedding license. Put a case of sparkling cider on ice (municipal park = no alcohol), got a friend who was managing a convenience store in the area to bring a couple of party platters, rolls, condiments, etc; had my soon to be stepdaughter bake the wedding cake, and had our album filled by every guest's camera. Best part -- we were totally done in just over two hours, and gone for the honeymoon in about 3.5...... Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gameplayer Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 I guess you could go the Star Jones route and have the vendors sponsor your wedding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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