tightloop Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Every time mall ninja's come up I am reminded of a post from 2-3 years ago.Read it here. dj reread that post...had forgotten how very funny it was..thanks. Tightloop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Every time mall ninja's come up I am reminded of a post from 2-3 years ago.Read it here. dj reread that post...had forgotten how very funny it was..thanks. Tightloop Thanks for the laugh!!! Are there guys out there really like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-Ho Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 (edited) I found the ULTIMATE MALL NINJA GUN for sale on gun broker. Every Mall Ninja should have one. Some people just dont get it I think People who dress themselves and their guns up like that.......have serious mental health issues Jim How would you like to have that guy for a next door neighbor? I guess he would be better than some bunnyhumper Greenpeace guy Jim I'm not so sure. The bunnyhumpers tend to have better beer. Most of those small, in style breweries sure beat Milwaukee's Best. As to the gun. 5.56 is SOOOOO passe in mall ninja circles. The gun would have to be in 6.8 SPC. Or whatever cartridge is the current one being praised by the gun whores, err I mean gun writers. *edited to correct my mizzspelin Edited February 20, 2008 by J-Ho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sslav Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 74% here as well. I guess I am a B-class mall ninja. My finely honed ninja senses are telling me that the whole test may not be entirely kosher. Well I am packing up my split-toe boots and heading off to Dallas for some more ninja training. I will be a mall ninja GM yet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mace85 Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 I was out of town for with my fiancee for a trade show she had to go to. One of the locations was at a hotel. I was driving through the parking lot and happened to notice one of their security guards. He was in his early twentys wearing black 6 inch boots with his black BDU's tucked into them. He was wearing a skin tight black under armor shirt, and on top of that was an empty tactical vest complete with AR mag pockets and in a Fobus holster was a J-Frame Smith. Thats a mall ninja. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 One of the locations was at a hotel. I was driving through the parking lot and happened to notice one of their security guards.Thats a mall ninja. No, this is a common mistake. You encountered a Hotel Ninja, this is a very rare sighting. The hotel ninja is a close cousin to the mall ninja, but the hotel ninja is easily identified by the empty tactical vest. The mall ninja is more evolved than the Hotel ninja. The mall ninja is outfitted to handle anything from shoplifters to to a pack of rabid terrorist; to include pepper spray, handcuffs, flashlights, radio, cell phone, shades and usually a large set of keys. All this equipment requires that they use some of the pockets of the tactical vest. Some of the more evolved forms of Malls ninjas even have a leather-man or some other variant of multi-tool. The mall ninja is at-ease any time of day. The hotel ninja is your most basic form of ninja. Many have not completely developed the tactical outer-shell. Some have been seen wearing only street clothes equipped with a mere radio. The hotel ninja is rarely seen, they are most commonly sighted between the hours of 10 pm and 6 am. It is believed they are sensitive to the sunlight. It is widely accepted among the Urban Ninja Scholars that the Hotel Ninja is the first step in the evolution to Gated Community Ninja. Once the Hotel ninja develops his tactical skin and sunlight tolerance they usually morph into sporting arena/concert Ninjas, This stage of Ninja is easily identified by brightly colored "T"actical shirt that says something to the effect of "event staff"but this is a quick stage in the ninja metamorphosis. they quickly move on to the various store ninjas, the highest form of store ninja is the Mall ninja. The mall ninja is truly master of the shopping complex. They are outfitted with all of the coolest non-lethal devices to deal with unruly 10 years olds. They usually have either very good hair or a mullet. They must be equipped with sunglasses regardless of the time of day. For unknown reasons some Mall ninjas lead double lives as gun store commandos. They do this at their peril. For if either the Commando or the Ninja cultures discovered they had a double agent amongst them, the offending party would be shunned from both cultures. Commandos and Ninja have been feuding for at least the past 25 years, it is believed this is because they are competing over the same underage females for breeding purposes. They also compete for the lower forms of life that aspire to become either a Ninja or Commando. The Supreme Urban Ninja is the Gated Community Ninja(GCN). The mall ninja must complete some form of education to become a GCN. This education requirement really limits the Mall Ninjas ability to advance in the ninja evolution. However the one thats make it out of the mall ninja dojo are held in a combined awe and contempt by the rest of the mall ninjas. The GCN can never go back to being a mere Mall Ninja again. These ninjas are even allowed to carry firearms at times. The GCN is even tolerated by the Commando clans. This is the pentacle in the Ninja Evolution. This is my understanding of the Mall Ninja and its development. Some have been able to break away and join the military or law enforcement. This however is extremely rare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Signcutter Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 I wish I could come up with stuff this good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jasonub Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 ninja future weapon by magpul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-Ho Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 One of the locations was at a hotel. I was driving through the parking lot and happened to notice one of their security guards.Thats a mall ninja. No, this is a common mistake. You encountered a Hotel Ninja, this is a very rare sighting. The hotel ninja is a close cousin to the mall ninja, but the hotel ninja is easily identified by the empty tactical vest. The mall ninja is more evolved than the Hotel ninja. The mall ninja is outfitted to handle anything from shoplifters to to a pack of rabid terrorist; to include pepper spray, handcuffs, flashlights, radio, cell phone, shades and usually a large set of keys. All this equipment requires that they use some of the pockets of the tactical vest. Some of the more evolved forms of Malls ninjas even have a leather-man or some other variant of multi-tool. The mall ninja is at-ease any time of day. The hotel ninja is your most basic form of ninja. Many have not completely developed the tactical outer-shell. Some have been seen wearing only street clothes equipped with a mere radio. The hotel ninja is rarely seen, they are most commonly sighted between the hours of 10 pm and 6 am. It is believed they are sensitive to the sunlight. It is widely accepted among the Urban Ninja Scholars that the Hotel Ninja is the first step in the evolution to Gated Community Ninja. Once the Hotel ninja develops his tactical skin and sunlight tolerance they usually morph into sporting arena/concert Ninjas, This stage of Ninja is easily identified by brightly colored "T"actical shirt that says something to the effect of "event staff"but this is a quick stage in the ninja metamorphosis. they quickly move on to the various store ninjas, the highest form of store ninja is the Mall ninja. The mall ninja is truly master of the shopping complex. They are outfitted with all of the coolest non-lethal devices to deal with unruly 10 years olds. They usually have either very good hair or a mullet. They must be equipped with sunglasses regardless of the time of day. For unknown reasons some Mall ninjas lead double lives as gun store commandos. They do this at their peril. For if either the Commando or the Ninja cultures discovered they had a double agent amongst them, the offending party would be shunned from both cultures. Commandos and Ninja have been feuding for at least the past 25 years, it is believed this is because they are competing over the same underage females for breeding purposes. They also compete for the lower forms of life that aspire to become either a Ninja or Commando. The Supreme Urban Ninja is the Gated Community Ninja(GCN). The mall ninja must complete some form of education to become a GCN. This education requirement really limits the Mall Ninjas ability to advance in the ninja evolution. However the one thats make it out of the mall ninja dojo are held in a combined awe and contempt by the rest of the mall ninjas. The GCN can never go back to being a mere Mall Ninja again. These ninjas are even allowed to carry firearms at times. The GCN is even tolerated by the Commando clans. This is the pentacle in the Ninja Evolution. This is my understanding of the Mall Ninja and its development. Some have been able to break away and join the military or law enforcement. This however is extremely rare. Hmmm, you sound a little too knowledgable about this subject. Maybe it's YOU that is a double agent! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Hmmm, you sound a little too knowledgable about this subject. Maybe it's YOU that is a double agent! no this is a result of beer induced theory generation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SA Friday Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Hmmm, you sound a little too knowledgable about this subject. Maybe it's YOU that is a double agent! no this is a result of beer induced theory generation. Now THATS what I call a good defensive tactic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grout Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Ninjas are cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 You scored 38 % Mall Ninja Personae! The higher the score the more Mall Ninja you are. A perfect 0% is possible, but beware, there were some loaded questions that you may have stumbled over... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubber Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Real Ninjas don't do tests...I cain'g even get the emicons to work...You scored 28 % Mall Ninja Personae!.. I guess I should of chosen the pinty stick... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ap3 Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 (edited) Every time mall ninja's come up I am reminded of a post from 2-3 years ago.Read it here. dj reread that post...had forgotten how very funny it was..thanks. Tightloop It made for a good laugh!!!! I think I will post the mall ninja question on this site Ask a Ninja so that I can get the official response on mall ninja's Edited February 27, 2008 by ap3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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