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A New Store


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Two business men in NY are sitting down for a break in their soon- to-be opened new store.

As yet, the store isn't ready -- only a few shelves are set up.

One says to the other, "I bet any minute now some dumb tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling."

No sooner are the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious

hillbilly from the south walks to the window, has a peek, and in his best

Southern drawl asks, "Wat'r y'all sellin' here?"

One of the business men replies, "Oh! We're selling a***oles here.

Without skipping a beat, the southerner says, "W ell, I see y'all are doing

really good. You only got two left!"

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Poor Clyde died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly. The morgue needed

someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Clem and Zeke,

were sent for.

Clem went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Clem said "Yup,

he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him over

and Clem looked and said "Nope, ain't Clyde."

The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Zeke to

identify the body and Zeke took a look at him and said "Yup, he's burnt

real bad, roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Zeke looked

down and said "No, it ain't Clyde."

The mortician asked "How can you tell?" Zeke said, "Well, Clyde had two a**holes."

"What? He had two a**holes?" said the mortician.

Zeke said, "Yup, everyone in town knew he had two a**holes. Every time

we went to town, folks would say "Here comes Clyde with them two a**holes."

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