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Beer and the Wheel


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Found on the gun club bulletin board and it passed the test.....It did make me grin so I truelly found humor in the content:

This appears to answer most questions re: Conservatives and Liberals...

Subject: Beer and the Wheel -

Beer and the Wheel

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer

and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the

beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the

catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals

2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of

agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so

while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,

they just stayed close to the brewery.

That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night

while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as

the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off

the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the

sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal


Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became

known as girlie-men or wussies. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include

the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and

the concept of voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that

conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most

powerful land animal on earth: the elephant.

Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

A few modern liberals like Mexican light beer (with lime added), but most

prefer a chilled glass of Sauvignon Blanc,with passion fruit and kiwi aromas

which are marked by grassy notes, then rounded out on the midpalate by peach

flavors crisp and refreshing, with a hint of chalky minerality on the

finish; or Perrier bottled water. They eat raw fish but dislike beef. Sushi,

tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher

testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury

attorneys, Ivy League professors, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and

group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated-hitter rule

because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink Sam Adams, Harpoon IPA or Yuengling Lager. They eat red

meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters,

rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors,

police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally

anyone who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work

for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and

decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more

enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in

Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the

Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for


Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal

may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding


A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth

of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true

believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.

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