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Lost My Wife


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My wife of almost 20 years passed away suddenly yesterday afternoon. I miss her deeply.

You have my deepest, heartfelt sympathies Doug. I know what you are going through, Lynn died 16 months ago and I love her more today and miss her immensely.

I hope you have family and friends close by to help you through this.

You WILL survive! But, it will take time and take ALL the time you need.

I only have one bit of advice that was passed on to me and that's "Don't make any major decisions for 6 months to a year."

Take care, and don't be afraid or proud to ask for help. Help comes from the unlikeliest places.


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I am sorry for your loss and pray that you find strength to cope with such a devistating moment in your life, I said moment because in the general scheme of life this will be a moment in time, you will search for answers and spend many lonely days lost in confusion but one day it will be clear, It is just life and if the god you pray to didn't think you were strong enough to handle it he wouldn't have let it happen. So push on my friend and know that this board has given me an outlet for some much needed compassion myself, And i will be there for you if you need to talk or get a cup of coffee or whatever.

Your Friend,

Marc Brock

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I'm very sorry to hear this. I lost my wife 2 years ago to overian cancer at age 40. The one thing everyone says (and I hated hearing) was that time helps. Well...sort of. Your pain will change and maybe lessen somewhat but it will always be with you. It was good for me to go to a few greif sessions to hear others. I know this sounds awful...it isn't pleasant but I found others benefited from my story as much as I benefited from them.

another thing to keep in mind is to take care of yourself...eat and sleep when you can...you have a long row to hoe, but you have to keep going. Pulling a trigger at the range has helped a lot...I wouldn't worry about the groups for a while just release the stress.

Eventually people will say stupid things to you like "aren't you over that yet" and "you need to get going with your life" Just realize that most of these people just really don't know what to say and are probably just trying to help (or make themselves feel better)...it can pi$$ you off though...still does for me sometimes...and yes I would like to get over it, too.

You have to do things in your own time and try to keep going. That doesn't mean you won't have days where you can't physically move from the pain...yes it can be physical...I felt like I was kicked in the nuts everyday for months...but everyone is different..no right...no wrong.

If you want/need more feel free to email me...it may be in profile...or at JTQ@one.net

Good luck and God's Speed.


Edited by hk_mtbr
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