Kenpo Joe Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Contractor A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut, or deal. Bid Opening A poker game in which the losing hand wins. Bid A wild guess carried out in two decimal places. Low Bidder A contractor who is wondering what he left out. Engineers Estimate The known cost of constuction in heaven. Bonding Company A required player in the game. Win, lose, or draw, the bonding company still gets paid, but if the contractor loses, the company quits playing with him. REMEMBER, the bonding company is a REQUIRED player! Project Manager The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union. Critical Path Method A management technique for losing your ass under perfect control. O.S.H.A. A protective coating made by half baking a mixture of fine print, red tape, split hairs, plus baloney usually applied at random with a shotgun. Strike An effort to increase egg production by strangling the chicken. Delayed Payment A tourniquet applied to the hing pocket. Completion Date The point at which liquidated damages begin. Liquidated damages A penalty for failing to acheive the impossible. Auditor People who go in after the war is lost and bayonet the wounded. Lawyer People who go in after the auditors and strip the bodies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waltermitty Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 A truer list I have not seen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Gawd, that is funny!! Having worked with construction folks and also with engineers, this was definitely an "LOL...!" list. It occurred to me that the definition of 'Strike' kinda fits the term 'Downsizing' as well... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
et45 Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Show me what to do,don't look for me if it's raining(brick layer),hire some English speaking laborers, pay me on Friday and NO, I will not work this weekend because I have a match to shoot.Also I will need off the Friday of the Area 6 weekend.Sorry,just a typical day at work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.40AET Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 This couldn't be truer. I had to rip it off and send it around the office. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentlemanJim Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 The first smile I had oll day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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