The (insurance) Night Before Christmas

[Merlin Orr]

Christmas Insured

T'was the night before Christmas (12:01 A.M. EST 12/25/2006 )and all

through the house (single family, masonry veneer 1 1/2 story with

basement,

1128 ground floor sq. ft. 5-6 corners, territory 68, PC 1) Not a

creature was stirring, not even a mouse (through pride of ownership and

excellent

maintenance.) The (flame retardant) stockings were hung by the

(contractor

installed) chimney with care in hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be

there (in spite of dead-bolt locks and ADT central station alarm system,

certificate on file.) The children (ages 4,8,14 & 16) were all nestled

snug in their beds (check MVR on 16 year old - possible undisclosed

driver) While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads (must check

for drug use.) Mama in her kerchief (scheduled heirloom) and I in my cap

had just settled down for a long winters nap (check employment - is

insured sleeping all

day?)

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter (check into condition of

premises, housekeeping etc), I jumped out of bed to see what was the

matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash, threw back the curtains and tore

open the sash (intentional destructive act - no coverage. Also, as far

as we know, insured only wearing a cap in front of uncovered

window.) What to my wondrous eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh

and 8 tiny reindeer (note to check if sleigh rated business use and

corporate owned).

With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it

must be St. Nick (order medical on 600 year old driver; notify life

underwriter for possible table rating).

More rapid than eagles (check MVR for speeding violations) his coursers

they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name (possible

aggressive driver?): Now Dasher (turbo equip?) now Dancer (classic?) now

Prancer (check lifestyle) now Vixen (definitely check lifestyle), On

Comet (possible muscle deer) on Cupid (lifestyle again) on Donner (4x4)

and Blitzen (possible drinking problem?) To the top of the porch to the

top of the wall (check for structural damage also look into height

exposures), Now dash away, dash away, dash away all.

(also old man climbing walls either in great shape or overly medicated?)

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew, with the sleigh full of

toys and St. Nicholas too (check for possible retail delivery

classification of autos).

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of

each little hoof (check for shingle damage also classification of

operations; roofing is a prohibited class). As I drew in my head and was

turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was

dressed all in fur (scheduled items) from his head to his foot and his

clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot (part time job as

firefighter?). A bundle of toys he had flung on his back (Check to see

if insured has safety committee, check lifting training) And he looked

like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes how they twinkled, His dimples how merry, His cheeks were like

roses, His nose like cherry (order updated medical report, possible

alcohol drinking abuse). The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth

(note - not eligible for non-tobacco discount) And the smoke it

encircled his head like a wreath (check batteries in smoke alarms to

make sure operational). He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf

(overweight for height - additional table rating?) And I laughed when I

saw him in spite of myself. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread (home invasion, stranger

enters past alarm and insured not worried? Possible moral risk). He

spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the

stockings; then turned with a jerk (review workplace for ergonomic

compliance). And laying his finger side of his nose (obscene gesture?)

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose (check operations, chimney

sweeps are prohibited classification, look into CGL PD deductible.) He

sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew

like the down of a thistle (not likely with fat man and sleigh full of

toys. Check GVW for proper classification, Light/Service/Local seems

unlikely). But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, "Happy

Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" (Check hours of operation,

24hr service operations prohibited. Also check into seasonal nature of

business and limits of liability).

[AlamoShooter]

? Merlin? lay off the coffey for a few hours ..OK

[tightloop]

I guess you have to be in the industry....

[Micah]

Prancer (check lifestyle) now Vixen (definitely check lifestyle), On

Comet (possible muscle deer) on Cupid (lifestyle again)

and Blitzen (possible drinking problem?)

Poor reindeer...being unemployed 364.25 days a year is getting to their(lifestyle)

[j2fast]

I'm with ya Merlin.... I'm in Title Insurance not Hazard Insurance but I see the humor in it..

Merry Christmas

[Larry White]

Pray for a storm or other disaster some where you dont like, that boy needs something to do.----------Larry

[AikiDale]

As the workweek draws to a close, the jet stream and a shot of colder air will manage to work toward Southern California, delivering a potentially significant rainfall event with crashing snow levels, the threat of flash flooding and thunderstorms Saturday into Monday.

Story By AccuWeather.com Meteorologist Kristina Baker.

Maybe this will help.

[BigDave]

That's funny!

[mike_pinto]

It's even funnier that my better half is a regional claims manager. This isn't that far off..