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Chuck Norris' Fame Knows No Bounds

Ben Stoeger

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  • 3 months later...

I had no idea that these Chuck Norris quotes were floating around until today. I couldn't stop laughing.

Some of my favorites:

1)When Chuck Norris is doing pushups, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the earch away.

2)There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' chin, just another fist.

3)You are because you think you can, you aren't because Chuck Norris says you shouldn't be.

4)Chuck Norris has a concealed weapons permit in all 50 states just so he can legally wear pants.

5)Chuck Norris filed a lawsuit against NBC claiming that Law & Order are trademarked names for his right and left leg.

6)If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you're probably seconds away from death.

7)When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it isn't because he's gay. He just ran out of women.

8)Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting. Hunting implies to possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

9)Chuck Norris doesn't pay taxes. He just sends the IRS a picture of himself ready to attack.

10)Chuck Norris doesn't read. He just stares the book down until he gets the information he wants.

11)Chuck Norris kicks faster than the speed of light, and can therefore, travel back in time.

12)There are no steroids in baseball, just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

13)Chuck Norris once shot down a German plane with his finger by yelling "bang"

14)In fine print on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records, it says that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those names listed in the book are the closest anyone has ever gotten.

15)When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his clost for Chuck Norris.

16)Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.

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