Things You Only Do Once -

[boo radley]

Made a magic trick years ago, as a teenager. Just drilled a hole through a quarter so I could tie on a couple pieces of heavy rubber bands. The idea is, you'd secure one end of the elastic inside your coat, or something, stretch it out, show the quarter (concealing where it was attached to the other end of the rubber bands), then PRESTO! You'd let go, and it would "disappear". You get the idea.

Forgot about this, and found it a few months later, in a drawer. Decided to shoot it across the room, into a couch. Held the end of the rubber bands, stretched the quarter back to my ear, released and...to this day, 25 years later, my thumb throbs if I think about it. Quarter caught my thumbnail edge-on, going about 948 fps.

[tightloop]

Sounds like when we were kids and learning how to shoot a sling shot (not what we used to call them, but now politically correct)...and till you smashed your thumb once or twice, if you were a really slow learner, you would put your thumb in the center of the slingshot as you let the shot go....wise men put the thumb on the opposite side of the other fingers...LOL

[Genghis]

I had a lovely collar bone to stomach bruise. That was the last time I let my Dad touch my bike, I figured if I was going to get hurt it might as well be my fault.

I went tubing on Lake Texoma a few years back, pulled behind my boat which has a 454. The guy driving pulled me across the wake of a 54' yacht. The boat literally dropped several feet into the wake, then popped out of the water crossing the other side.

Thinking back, I believe my tube hit the exact spot where the yacht's wake and my boat's wake intersected. Someone was videotaping, and I went clear off the top of the view, about 12' above the water. I hit the water stretched out flat, leaving a solid purple bruise from chest to waist. Flipped over from landing on the wake, still held on, but my trunks got yanked down onto one foot. Flipped the trunks up to my hand, then proceeded to fall off while yelling and spinning them around.

Another time I took a friend of mine (a very big guy) to the lake. He'd never ridden a tube before. I convinced him that the safest way to ride it was with his butt down in the tube, facing away from the boat. True enough - much harder to get thrown out with your weight lower. But when you do get thrown, it's much more violent. And in that position he couldn't see what was coming. Well, I spotted a cabin cruiser dragging down the lake, and gently veered toward its wake. About 100' from the wake I went to full throttle, and swerved to swing the tube outside the wake. The tube hit the wake and my friend popped straight out. Everything would have turned out okay, except that my friend decided to pike then try to dive into the water. But he was still moving 30 mph or so. When he hit it was not a pretty sight.

A couple of years ago another friend bought an inflatable shaped like a big manta ray. We found that if you drove the boat fast enough, it lifted off the water and flew like a kite. Until it unexpectedly performed a snap roll and SLAMMED my friend down onto the water. The tube busted and never got used again. I was surprised that my friend ever got back on a tube.

[Merlin Orr]

Genghis

Damn, with friends like you......

[Genghis]

Genghis

Damn, with friends like you......

Merlin, I was being true to the purpose of tubing: To entertain the people in the boat, not the person on the tube. Understand that, Grasshopper, and you understand tubing.

[dajarrel]

TL,

Your talking about riding pine trees down brought back fond memories. You are so correct. If the tree is too big, it breaks

Went water skiing as teenager. Big (fat) boys, such as myself, usually aren't the most graceful of water acrobats. My buddy was making a wide sweeping turn and I decided to slingshot around. Generates a lot of speed. Trouble was, my ski's outdistanced my butt and my butt was the first thing to contact the water. I found that a fresh water enema administered at about 40 mph was not the most pleasant sensation.

It's a wonder we survived to become adults.

dj

[sturmruger]

You will probably all know where this is going.

A couple weeks ago I was on my knees working on Pepper Popper when I felt a huge bang on the top of my head. I hit the ground and blacked out for while!! When I came to my best budd Aaron was looking over me asking me if I knew my name. I thought about it a while and replied "Norm" which is the correct name. I took a few ibprofen and shot the match just fine in fact it was one of my better performances. The next day about 20 hours after I had the steel connect with my head I started feeling really crappy. Luckily I started feeling better after we went to the bar.

[Ben Stoeger]

A couple weeks ago I was on my knees working on Pepper Popper when I felt a huge bang on the top of my head. I hit the ground and blacked out for while!!

[Skywalker]

I guess trying to chase away a tedious fly who's been buzzing near your ear, with the same hand you're using to draw with a sharp pencil, is not a good idea as well ...

(Still have the scar to prove it )

[Merlin Orr]

I found that a fresh water enema administered at about 40 mph was not the most pleasant sensation.

It's a wonder we survived to become adults.

dj

Wow. Cliff jumping at Lake Whitney, TX from about 70'........

[kevin c]

Sitting on a guard rail over a concrete stairwell. Rail is round, completely open underneath.

Friend: "Hey, Kevin, that doesn't look to steady where you're sitting".

Me: "Naw, I'm fine. See? No han...."

Reverse 360 degree spin on the rail, hanging on by the backs of my knees. I hear my hair (long, back then) thwap into the side of the well, and feel the top of my head graze the edge. I come back up to my original position, blink, and then slowly get down.

For once, I'm glad I'm a short Asian guy...

[boo radley]

A couple weeks ago I was on my knees working on Pepper Popper when I felt a huge bang on the top of my head. I hit the ground and blacked out for while!!

indeed!!

Genghis, reading your description of tubing, I laughed until tears ran down my cheeks. About 6 or 7 years ago, I purchased a tube on a whim, to amuse some family and friends while camping on a freshwater lake (I'm a saltwater fisherman, and this tubing stuff was new to me). In short order, we learned how you can absolutely terrify a 220-lb adult male, and risk divorce when you send your spouse careening outside the wake, towards...Lo! The "gentle" waves of another boat's wake.

Not so long ago, I found the tube, and had the idea of using it in the ocean, where there would be [a] lots of waves, and an even greater psychological pressure to "hang on, no matter what", because I've found many people scared to go swimming offshore, especially out of sight of land....But after an experiment or two, it just doesn't work right with swells and chop and so forth.

But you're right -- tubing is all about amusing those in the boat. The tuber is the amusee.

Edited July 9, 2006 by boo radley

[iainmcphersn]

I was just out of college and had not found a real job yet. Paintball was starting to gain popularity but not in central Alabama. I sent off and bought a couple of Splatmaster paintball pistols so my buddy and I could experience paintball by hunting and shooting each other.

I got the guns in and took them over to his apartment to show them off. I had wisely bought CO2 cartriges and paintballs so we would be ready to play. As soon as they came out of the box, I loaded one up and decided thoughtfully that I should know what it felt like to be shot before we went out to play.

So I hand the gun to my buddy and tell him to shoot me. Being the wonderful friend that he is, he does.

From about five feet away.

I remember rolling around on the floor for about 10 minutes thinking I had a broken rib.

Did I mention I was wearing a T-shirt for padding? It had a nice cresent moon cut out where the ball hit and I had the same pattern on the skin of my left chest. (It's faint but I also still have the scar.) Too bad I didn't get a picture of the bruising, the purples and greens were quite striking.

I told him if he ever shot that thing at me again I'd return fire with a real weapon and we decided we would have to put them to other use.

We ended up driving all over town shooting street signs, community watch signs were our favorite. I was never as good as he was. He could hit a sign on the left side of the street while driving.

I've played paintball a couple of times since then but always dressed carefully.

I scared the crap out of the same buddy with some off road driving at least once, but that's another story.

Edited July 9, 2006 by iainmcphersn

[markcic]

Genghis

Damn, with friends like you......

Merlin, I was being true to the purpose of tubing: To entertain the people in the boat, not the person on the tube. Understand that, Grasshopper, and you understand tubing.

That is only partly true. If you don’t get thrown from the tube you aren’t getting a good ride. I told my uncle who was driving the boat that. He threw me out of the tube doing about 50. I cart wheeled across the water and shredded my suit. I just about ended up with a belt and pockets when I was done. The ride was great right up till the time he managed to throw me out.

[MoBigAl]

One day while working on a job site a group of us decided it would be interesting to check out the inside of a grain bin located on site. We discovered that the bin was about 1/3 full of soybeans.

A couple of guys started climbing the interior ladder and jumping into the beans. Well, boys being boys it soon turned into who could climb the highest and then jump.

Not to be out done I soon found myself about 50 feet above the beans. After jumping and achieving light speed I slammed feet first, corkscrewed up to the waist and pulled the ostrich buried iin the sand trick with my head.

It took a good ten minutes to hack and cough up all the beans that were forced down my gullet.

Needless to say I was declared the champion bean jumper that day.

I wore the dimpled bean marks with pride on my face and forehead for the rest of the day.

I WILL NOT be defending my title...

[redmist10]

Shoot a ported .454 Casull without ear plugs.

Ask a woman when she's due...not knowing if she's actually pregnant.

Agree to lay down in the bed of a pickup truck (with covered bed) while your friends jump railroad tracks (alcohol, naturally).

Mix Jack Daniels and Yukon Jack, see who can chug the most, and then let the winner and runner up drive you home because you can't stand up....(youthful idiocy!)

Perform any gun maintenance at the range, involving springs under tension, while standing in the grass.

[carinab]

I guess trying to chase away a tedious fly who's been buzzing near your ear, with the same hand you're using to draw with a sharp pencil, is not a good idea as well ...

(Still have the scar to prove it )

Speaking of stupid pencil tricks...

I was doing my 6th grade homework using a pencil that had one of those triangular shaped eraser caps stuck on the end. I had a cold. I sneezed. I then had to sit about an hour in the doctor's waiting room before I could get it removed.

[lynn jones]

Ask a woman when she's due...not knowing if she's actually pregnant.

+1

[kevin c]

Speaking of stupid pencil tricks...

I was doing my 6th grade homework using a pencil that had one of those triangular shaped eraser caps stuck on the end. I had a cold. I sneezed. I then had to sit about an hour in the doctor's waiting room before I could get it removed.

Homework? Then at least you were spared the mortification of having done that in class.

[srf]

Let's see? Golf, Motorcycles, Home Improvement?

I'm a kid and I'm playing golf at Myrtle Beach AFB. Hit a big drive farther then I ever had and the ball barely rolls into water hazard. Well I'm a kid and balls are expensive, so I go after it with a sandtrap rake. I reach out for the ball and as the rake rolls the ball out, a water moccasin rolls out with it. Ever see those cartoons where the character jumps straight up and runs? You can really do that. Even though water moccasins are pretty rare up north (where I live now), balls stay in water.

I'm riding a dirt bike hell bent for whatever and I spot the ditch. I jump on the throttle, pull up the on the handle bars, and the front fork goes directly into the ditch...and stops dead...I don't. Everything was fine until my legs hit the handlebars and I hit the ground and all of the air left my body. The funny thing was that I distinctly remember looking at my broken bike and hearing two little kids who witnessed the endo excitely describing each and every detail to each other while I gasped for breath. Stopped entertaining little kids after that, at least until I had my own.

And now, I'm a little older and more responsible (?) and I'm renovating an apartment I own. My dad is helping me install a new bath wall that's just a little tall. So I brace it at the bottom opposite my dad while he 'persuades' the top plate into position with a hammer. All of the sudden I feel a bang, and my face kinda hurts and I'm seeing stars (really!). My Dad is nervously laughing as he realizes he missed the top plate.. and hit me square in the face with the damn hammer. Sold the apartment building eventually.

There's more, but, you know...

[bruce282]

Always remember that no matter how fast your friends Hemi Roadrunner is, you still can't outrun the slowest police radio.

Never bet your shooting buddy that you can tape your pocket knife to a tree and use the blade to cut a 22 LR bullet fired from your Ruger Single-Six in half.

Never let that same buddy tell you that 'of course' 3 wet telephone books in a wooden box will stop a full powered 30.06 round fired from 10 feet away. Through the 3 books, the box, and the cinder block basement wall and into mother earth. Thank God the basement was of the below grade level.

Bruce

[tightloop]

Nope, you cannot out run Motorola..

[Middle Man]

Chase many Goldschläger shots with beer before heading out to a keg party.

Never made it to the party and I still get chills at the mention of that vile liquid...

[Genghis]

Some of these vehicle stories remind me of some stupid stuff we did as teenagers (and if the truth be told, a little beyond that point).

Growing up in Kansas, we had snow every winter, but no mountains, making it hard to ski. So we tried numerous ways to combine snow and water skiing, by pulling a snow skier behind cars.

We started with some plastic kiddie skis, about as long as your foot. These didn't stand up to the abuse, so we made another pair using strips of metal about a foot and a half long, with board on top for stiffening and to hold the foot straps. Eventually we discovered that cowboy boots worked just as well. We started out in parking lots, and found that it worked better on sidestreets with packed snow or ice. We didn't always have tow ropes, so sometimes we would just hold on to the back bumper and slide along on our boots.

The least stupid method of skiing we used was with a water ski tow rope, attached to the trailer hitch, skiing in the ditches on snowboards as the car went down the road. I remember one year I came back home from college for Christmas. One of those nights I got a call from one of the guys. The 10 o'clock weather report showed snow a couple hundred miles West, on the other side of the state. So we drove there that night, arriving around 6 a.m. We had a great time skiing on a road that went around a lake, dodging the storm sewer drains. I couldn't get the hang of it until my friend swerved into a field and started doing donuts with me at the end of the rope. I HAD to hold on, or fly into the trees, so I managed to hold on.

One spinoff of these experiments was called "Trunk Surfing." One of the guys had a car we called a "converted," made by cutting the roof off a '65 Ford LTD with a power saw. Just like a convertible, but not capable of being converted back, thus the name. We found a snowy parking lot and tied ropes through the rear speaker cutouts. Two of us stood on the trunk, holding onto the ropes while the driver did donuts. This activity ended when one guy fell off and looked up to see the spinning tire coming right at his head.

The last time we skied on cowboy boots, we turned it into a competition to see who would go fastest. Starting around 30 mph, with two dumb *sses holding on to the back bumper, we ran the length of the side street (about a half mile). Then we turned around and came the other way, five mph faster. When we got to 60 mph, the other guy bowed out and got in the car. My last run was by myself, sliding at 65 mph on an icy road on cowboy boots, hanging on for dear life. I don't want to think what would have happened if my boot had hit a patch of dry pavement.

Anyone adding a poll to this thread so we can vote on the stupidest activity?

[edited for clarity]

Edited July 13, 2006 by Genghis

[tightloop]

No poll yet, but that story ranks wayyyyyyy up there...