TDean Posted May 6, 2002 Share Posted May 6, 2002 TEN REASONS WHY A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN 10. You can trade an old .44 for two new .22’s. 9. You can have a handgun at home and another for the road. 8. If you admire a friend’s handgun and tell him so, he will be impressed and let you try a few rounds with it. 7. Your primary handgun doesn’t mind if you have a backup. 6. Your handgun will stay with you even if you are out of ammo. 5. A handgun doesn’t take up a lot of closet space. 4. Handguns function normally every day of the month. 3. A handgun won’t ask, “Do these grips make me look fat?” 2. A handgun does not mind if you go to sleep after you’re done using it. AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN: 1. You can buy a silencer for a handgun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooter Grrl Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 My husband really enjoyed this - I on the other hand, didn't quite get it ;-pppppp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDean Posted May 7, 2002 Author Share Posted May 7, 2002 I think most of the men on the forum are staying away from this one..... It's all good fun SG, I'm sure you could think of a couple reasons why guns are better than men? (eg; After the first round, they're instantly ready to go again! he-he-he....hey that's not funny) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gm iprod Posted May 14, 2002 Share Posted May 14, 2002 Another view is. Why is Whisky better than a women??? The older it is the better it tastes!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDean Posted May 14, 2002 Author Share Posted May 14, 2002 Ooooo-man! We are diggi'n ourselves a hole here bud..... I'm starting to wish I never started this..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nik Habicht Posted May 15, 2002 Share Posted May 15, 2002 I forwarded it to all my female friends ----- and they all thought it was funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flexmoney Posted May 15, 2002 Share Posted May 15, 2002 Which reminds me... I thought about buying one of those large shooting bags (like the one in the classified section)..., but once I got all my stuff in there...it might be too heavy for my girlfriend to carry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooter Grrl Posted May 15, 2002 Share Posted May 15, 2002 It IS funny Nik. But I just can't pass up an opportunity to make y'all squirm a little :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDean Posted May 15, 2002 Author Share Posted May 15, 2002 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nik Habicht Posted May 15, 2002 Share Posted May 15, 2002 Kath, Can't make me squirm. I've got your number! You, like most of my female friends, like and understand men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooter Grrl Posted May 20, 2002 Share Posted May 20, 2002 Nik You're on to me! TDean however, is squirming... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDean Posted May 20, 2002 Author Share Posted May 20, 2002 Ohhh man! Please let this thread just DIE!...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooter Grrl Posted May 20, 2002 Share Posted May 20, 2002 Oh I dunno - this one is better than the dishwasher ;D TOP TEN REASONS WHY A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A MAN: 10. You can trade a .44 for 2 .22's 9. You can have one at home and one for the car 8. You're friends will gladly share theirs 7. You're gun will only fire blanks when you want it to 6. A gun doesn't take up your closet space 5. A handgun doesn't get sick and act like a baby 4. A handgun doesn't leak on the toilet seat (and it NEVER forgets to put the lid down) 3. A handgun won't lie to you about how you look so it can get in your pants. 2. A handgun won't go to sleep after it's done firing AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A MAN: 1. A handgun won't tell bad jokes and you can always buy it a silencer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDean Posted May 21, 2002 Author Share Posted May 21, 2002 Thank you!!! Wheeww! Pressure's off! 5. A handgun doesn't get sick and act like a baby..." What! After reading that, I feel like complete crap, total crap! Would you pwwease mak'em me a gwill-cheese sammich pwease? ooohhhh I don't feel good..... ohhhh.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flexmoney Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 Justt checking to see if I can steal Tdean's cool graphic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gm iprod Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 Heres one for the girls. Why do men snore??? So women know they have finished. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DBChaffin Posted May 22, 2002 Share Posted May 22, 2002 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DBChaffin Posted May 22, 2002 Share Posted May 22, 2002 Men's Rules Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down. 1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Check your oil! Please. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway.) 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz. 1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. 1. We really don't mind sleeping on the couch, it's like camping. 1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooter Grrl Posted May 22, 2002 Share Posted May 22, 2002 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhgtyre Posted May 22, 2002 Share Posted May 22, 2002 Run and hide! The animated .gif monster is loose! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDean Posted May 22, 2002 Author Share Posted May 22, 2002 LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrumpyOne Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 ttt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 The numbering system is one of the funny parts all by itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardmix Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Good stuff! Hardmix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toolguy Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Sex is like air. It's no big deal unless you're not getting any. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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