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Enter your favorite websites into the following link, right after "url="  and tranlate it into Snoop Dog language.   An example is provided with our host's homepage.  Sorry Brian  It can be a little slow at times, so be patient.


"Surf da topics on da navigation bar; yo' ass never know what yo' ass might find. Special props to Matt Burkett 'n Richard Salem (fo' tha dude's mastery in graphics 'n consultation), 'n all da fools on da Forum Board who has helped to make this a bomb diggity place to visit."

How eloquently spoken, don't you think?  Thanks to forum member Patches who pointed me to this one.

(Edited by DBChaffin at 3:54 pm on Dec. 2, 2002)

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TGO is down with it...

"There is only one

person in da wizzorld

who I would allow to

holla to my students,

'n that is Brian. "

-Rob Leatham, multi-

time National/World

IPSC Champion n'sh*t.


(Edited by Steve Anderson at 3:16 pm on Dec. 2, 2002)

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You'll love this.  Translated into jive:

Frequent-like Axed Quesshuns about da damn "FISTFIRE" System o' Defense

(down low, Some interview wit' D.R. Middlebrooks)

Q, dig dis: Whut made yo' ass decide t' come down wit' some fresh method o' handgun bust a cap inin'?  'S coo', bro.

Some, dig dis: "Necessity…I suffered wit' tendonitis 4 years. When I drew da heat it hurt, an' when I fired da damn heat it hurt. I could no longa' hold da

damn heat rock 'nuff t' control da recoil.  Man! Mah eyes wuz also changin' an' it wuz becomin' difficult 4 me t' focus on mah sights.

When I consulted professional firearms traina's about mah bugs-up-da-ass they all told me da damn same , dig dis: Da raison yo' ass don’t bust a cap in

well, be dat yo' ass don’t bust a cap in 'nuff; Bust a cap inin' be some puh'ishable skill, an' once da damn eyes go it’s all ova'…

I could not accept dose-dair views nor dun did I agree wit' all o' da damn tactics dat wuz bein' learn'd. I wuz peekin' 4 answa's when I realized dat many o' da damn principles 'esploited in martial arts could be applied t' tactical bust a cap inin'. So's, I began mah puh'sonal quest 4 da ultimate bust a cap inin' system."

Q, dig dis: Whut makes yo' method so's different?

Some, dig dis: "Fust off, FISTFIRE aint plum some method, it’s some complete system o' bust a cap inin'…

Second, its foundashun be based upon da trey stances, which be actual-like trey different levels o' waipons presentashun. By dis, I main da presentin' an'

pointin' o' da damn waipon at da damn target o' da damn threat…

Third, dese-he'ah presentashuns be total-like different (down low, actual-like quite da damn opposite) from da convenshunal Waiva', Chapman an' Coopa' styles…

Last-like, da system be designed t' be aisi-like transferable.Slap mah 'fro! I have broken it waaay down into 21 levels, so's it’s real damn aisi-like

learn'd an' learned."

Q, dig dis: How dun did yo' ass develop da system?

Some, dig dis: "Mah concept o' da damn ultimate handgun bust a cap inin' system wuz simple an' universal, dig dis: It gots'ta be bot' fast an' accurate; It

gots'ta work equal-like well 4 some 90 lb. ho o' some 300 lb.  Step up. dude; All movements gots'ta be fluid an' natural; It gots'ta be aisy t' learn an' dig; It had t' be capable o' evolvin' an' adaptable t' da damn eva' changin' waipons technology an' had t'integrate aisi-like wit' Mixed Martial Arts.

I determined dat all aspects o' current tactical an' battle bust a cap inin' would got'ta be re-'esamined, snatchin' nothin' 4 granted an' acceptin' nothin' as gospel. Point Bust a cap inin' would also be incorporated into da system an' waipons retenshun would be paramount in da system.

T'ensure balance, I employed da damn fundamental doctrines o' da damn Tactical Bust a cap inin' Academy. Dis maint dat b4 no o' da damn bust a cap inin'

techniques would be accepted, they had t' be established in Mixed Martial Arts principles, designed specifical-like 4 Real World encounta's an' tested in

World Class Battle.

Whut resulted in mah years o' research wuz some complete-like fresh style o' bust a cap inin' which be called da damn FISTFIRE System o' Defense. Dis system

o' bust a cap inin' dat aint "jaded by tradishun" o' "blinded by played out school doctrine". Yo' ass’ll find no subjective dogma in da house, plum pure,

unadulterated, puh'fecshun o' tactical bust a cap inin' techniques. We have proven by empirical data, dat dis fresh system works well, unda' all condishuns, all da time."

Q, dig dis: But y fresh stances, especial-like if da otha' stances work?

Some, dig dis: "Becuz dese-he'ah work betta'.  Word. Da Waiva' stance be slow

an' unnatural an' even da Isosceles stance requires yo' ass t' have some

tremendous amount o' grip strengt' t' make it work.  Ah be baaad... Yo' ass

tru-ly got'ta ‘muscle da damn heat’ t' control recoil…

It be also impossible t' bust a cap in from retenshun an' real damn difficult

t' bust a cap in from some tight o' confined space wit' dose-dair stances. Yo'

ass kin tru-ly only 'esploit them when da heat be out at full 'estension, an'

achievin' full 'estension aint 24/7 possible in some close quarta's combat


Q, dig dis: But sucka's be all built different-like. Won’t dat require some

different stance?  Da bomb!

Some, dig dis: "No. Snatch 4 'esample me, mah woman Barb an' mah jailbaitest

student Daniel Horna'. We be all built REAL DAMN different-like. Yet we

A-Dubba-L have deuce in common, dig dis: We all 'esploit da damn FISTFIRE

System an' we be all World Champions….Da bomb!

I have spent years developin' da damn FISTFIRE System an' testin' it on

students o' all shapes, ages an' sizes.  What it is, Mama! Dis be da damn only

one dat 24/7 works, all da time.  Wank, wank. Dat’s becuz it’s puh'fect-like


We aint tryin' t' throw some 90 mph fastball in da house nor be we tryin' t'

hit one. We be tryin' t' git da damn heat from da holsta' onto da target,

control it an' be able t' reload it unda' stress.  Slap me some skin. Becuz da

movements be all natural, FISTFIRE be da damn only true ‘one size fits all’

method o' bust a cap inin'."

Q, dig dis: But y trey stances?  True dat.

Some, dig dis: "Becuz dair be trey types o' bust a cap inin' required in

self-defense situashuns, dig dis: Contact Distance, Close Quarta's an' Surgical

Bust a cap inin' at distance…

If somecat be in yo' face, 4 'esample, yo' ass be limited wit' da damn otha'

stances becuz yo' ass caint git da damn waipon out t' full 'estension. But wit'

dis system o' bust a cap inin', we braik da presentashuns waaay down t' trey

segments o' ‘trey levels’ o' presentashun. Each level be some stance within

itself, an' aich one be da damn natural progression o' da damn otha'."

Q, dig dis: How yo' ass know which stance t'esploit?

Some, dig dis: "Simple, dig dis: Distance determines how fah' yo' ass 'estend

da damn waipon. Da fartha' away da target be, da fartha' yo' ass 'estend. As

yo' ass 'estend da damn heat out yo' ass will go from one presentashun right

into da otha'. Yo' ass kin even go back an' fourt' from one stance t' da damn

otha' while yo' ass move an' bust a cap in. It’s all real damn natural wit' all

fluid moshuns.f*ckin' A! It’s some dime t' spot, it’s da total

puh'fecshun o' technique."

Q, dig dis: So's, which bust a cap inin' stance do yo' ass learn fust?Ah be


Some, dig dis: "Da Guard bust a cap inin' posishun be learn'd fust. Dis be

where yo' ass learn how t' protect da damn heat from disarms while learnin'

t'index an' bust a cap in from retenshun, bot' one an' deuce handed. Dis bust a

cap inin' stance be real damn effective, especial-like when yo' opponent be at

contact distance (down low, inside o' 1 yard)…

Next, da Point Bust a cap inin' posishun be learn'd where yo' ass learn t'

point bust a cap in from partial 'estension o' da damn Reverse Waiva' stance.

In da house, da waik arm be higha' an' straighta' dan da cock diesel arm an' be

designed 4 close quarta's work (down low, usual-like inside o' 5 yards)...

Last-like, da Surgical Bust a cap inin' posishun be learn'd where yo' ass learn

how t'esploit da damn sights an' control da trigga' wit' da damn heat at full

'estension o' da damn Reverse Chapman stance. In da house, da waik arm elbow be

gent-like locked out 4 tighta' busted a cap ins at longa' ranges (down low,

usual-like beyond 7 yards)."

Q, dig dis: Whut about kicka' posishun?

Some, dig dis: "Kicka' posishun doesn’t matta' becuz da presentashuns all work

from da waist down. Yo' ass kin be standin', steppin' o' movin', left o' right

kicka' laidin', it doesn’t matta'. Yo' ass don’t even need legs, dat’s y it

works so's well 4 handicapped shoota's an' dose-dair in wheelchairs."

Q, dig dis: Y not 'esploit da damn convenshunal ‘boxa'’ fightin' stance?

Some, dig dis: "Da natural raicshun 4 humans when in danga' be t' turn an'

square-like face da damn threat. Dis be some total-like natural an' instinctive


4 dis raison, mah system be designed t'allow yo' ass t' square off wit' yo'

opponent an' not 'espose da damn sides o' yo' body t' da damn threat (down low,

which be yo' most vulnerable part when wearin' some cap proof vest).

By startin' wit' bot' feet square t' da damn firin' line o' yo' opponent, yo'

ass aint committed o' limited t' whut yo' ass kin do.  Sheeeiit. Dis gives yo'

ass plenty o' movement choices (down low, all sides jimmey) an' affords many

mo' opshuns dan duz da convenshunal boxa' stance. We recommend dat yo' ass t'

start from some neutral kicka' posishun, squared down, if at all possible."

Q, dig dis: But whut about da damn classic bacon ‘interview’ stance?

Some, dig dis: "Dat’s da same as da boxa' stance. Da bug-up-da-ass wit' it be

it’s unnatural an' non-instinctual. It laives yo' ass wit' yo' heat 'esposed

an' 'estreme-like venerable 4 some disarm from behind…

Besides, y would yo' ass wanna fight da damn body’s natural survival instincts?

We recon' it’s betta' t'esploit da damn body’s natural instincts in orda' t'

make betta' 'esploit o' them unda' stress. Squarin' down wit' yo' opponent be

tru-ly da best way t' go, yo' ass’ll spot y in da demonstrashuns."

Q, dig dis: How dun did yo' ass test da damn system t' spot if it actual-like


Some, dig dis: "Afta' da damn ‘force on force’ studies wuz completed, I chose

some kinda' o' da damn toughest bust a cap inin' matches in da world in which

t' test da damn system.

At da damn World Class level, I-D-P-f*ckin'-A tests Defensive Marksmanship

techniques an' da damn World Bust a cap in Off be some pure test o' Surgical

Speed Bust a cap inin' technique.

Startin' at da damn late age o' 45, I won several major matches includin'

Nashunal an' World titles in bot' o' dese-he'ah venues against da damn best Pro

Shoota's in da world. Dis wuz da ‘acid test’ 4 da FISTFIRE System. Da fact dat

da damn system wuz designed 4 handgun fightin', integrated raidi-like wit'

Mixed Martial Arts an' yet still worked 'estreme-like well in battle proved dat

it wuz fah' supuh'ior t'all otha' methods o' firearms trainin'."

Q, dig dis: Some kinda' 'espuh'ts will argue, "Battle ain't combat an' it ain't

real, unless it be real"…So's, whut do yo' ass say t' dat?

Some, dig dis: "O.K., matches aint real, so's y kin’t dese-he'ah 'espuh'ts hit

da damn targets? Matches be da damn best testin' grounds we got'ta gauge

improvement, test our theories an' prove out fresh bust a cap inin' techniques…

Besides, Y would yo' ass wanna wait until it "gits real" t' find out whut works

an' whut doesn’t? Yo' ass kin screw down in some match, an' still go crib

afterwards (down low, as opposed t' da damn hospital o' icehouse). I would much

ratha' find out at da damn match whut mah waik points be, as opposed t' findin'

out lata' on da alley."

Q, dig dis: So's y do they say dat match habits will git yo' ass wasted in some


Some, dig dis: "I agree dat some kinda' matches kin ingrain way baaad habits

dat could real damn well git yo' ass wasted in some gunfight. So's yo' ass do

need t' be careful whut yo' ass bust a cap in, whut yo' ass practice an' how

yo' ass train. But yo' ass kin only git all dat in practice an' den yo' ass

need t' test yourself…

Whut yo' ass do in practice be betta' dan whut u fixin' 2 do in some match.

So's, how yo' ass bust a cap in in some match, unda' pressure an' on da clock

be some fair-like badass indicata' o' whut yo' actual bust a cap inin' ability

be unda' stress. Da tima' adds pressure an' coupled wit' da damn challenge o'

match battle, yo' heart rate incraises an' da damn adrenaline flows. If dair be

some bug-up-da-ass wit' yo' ass o' yo' equipment, u fixin' 2 find out in da


Q, dig dis: Be it true dat yo' ass learn sucka's not t' peek at deir sights?

Some, dig dis: "Not at fust…I want them t' protect da damn heat from disarms

an' learn how t'index an' point da damn heat propuh'ly. Den I will learn them

how t' surgical-like bust a cap in 'esploitin' da damn sights an' controllin'

da damn trigga' lata', but only afta' they build some badass foundashun o'

retenshun an' point bust a cap inin'."

Q, dig dis: Isn’t dat total-like backwards from da tradishunal thinkin'?

Some, dig dis: "Much o' whut I learn be total-like da opposite o' tradishunal

thinkin'; I 'esploit some ‘Reverse’ Waiva' Stance, some ‘Reverse’ Chapman

Stance, some ‘Reverse’ Harries flashlight technique..."

Q, dig dis: But don’t most 'espuh'ts stress watchin' da damn front sight?

Some, dig dis: "Damn straight, but dat’s becuz it’s all they know. They don’t

know how t' bust a cap in from retenshun an' they don’t know how t' point bust

a cap in.  What it is, Mama! At close quarta's, yo' ass won’t have time

t'intent-like focus on da front sight. Let’s 'esploit da damn analogy o' some

hood ornament o' some Caddy 4 'esample, dig dis:

Rememba' when yo' ass fust started learnin' t' roll? Yo' ass peeked at da damn

front o' da damn Caddy, at da damn hood ornament, an' da damn Caddy swerved all

ova' da damn place? But when yo' ass started t' ‘peek beyond da damn front o'

da damn Caddy’ it became much aisia' t' control. Dis be becuz yo' ass wuz

learnin' t' ‘point’ da Caddy as opposed t' plum "rudderin'" it.

Learnin' somecat t' 2-4-f*ckin'-7 focus on da front sight be plum likes

learnin' somecat t' roll some Caddy by focusin' on da hood ornament.  Homie

don't play dat. Yo' ass caint spot where yo' goin' if yo' ass do dat, an' yo'

ass caint spot whut's goin' on waaay down range. Yo' ass gots'ta be shaw o' yo'

target an' whut's beyond, especial-like on da alley, so's yo' ass have got'ta

peek beyond yo' sights…

Keep in mind dat some ‘threat’ kin change into some ‘non-threat’ in some

instant. By watchin' da damn threat, yo' ass’ll be able t' spot mo' o' whut’s

goin' on waaay down range. Da mo' yo' ass spot, da mo' yo' ass’ll know. Dis

input will help make yo' bust a cap inin' decisions (down low, which be da damn

most important decisions o' yo' life) fasta' an' aisia' t' make."

Q, dig dis: So's, y not stress da front sight likes everyone else duz?

Some, dig dis: "If yo' ass have da damn time, 'esploit da damn sights. But

T-I-M-f*ckin'-E B-E Some L-U-X-U-R-f*ckin'-Y dat we kin’t 24/7 afford.

Gunfights, likes matches, be T-I-M-f*ckin'-E COMPETITIVE…

Even da most 'espuh'ienced match shoota's will tell yo' ass they have

difficulty focusin' on deir front sight 4 one complete stage in some match. Dis

be sump'n they practice some lot, but it be still real damn rock t' do. So's,

how kin yo' ass 'espect da damn average Joe t' watch da damn front sight durin'

some heat battle? An' whut goes down if yo' ass be in da bi-focal stage o' life

an' caint spot da damn front sight? O' whut goes down if, in da course o' some

confrontashun, yo' prescripshun tri-focal glasses be knocked off? Whut do yo'

ass do den? Somebody answa' dat one 4 me…"

Q, dig dis: But isn’t sight alignment & trigga' control da keys t'accuracy?

Some, dig dis: "In some puh'fect world, where dat's all yo' ass got'ta think

about, dat concept be propa'. But in da ‘Real World’ yo' ass simply caint rely

on mechanical manipulashun o' da damn sights unda' stress.  No diggety.

In some lethal encounta', da heart rate incraises an' yo' ass begin t' loose

propa' mota' skills.  Homie don't play dat. Once da damn pupils dilate, yo' ass

aint gonna be able t' spot yo' sights, so's den whut will yo' ass do?

Besides, even if yo' ass git da damn most puh'fect sight picture in da world,

dair be nothin' t' keep yo' ass from flinchin' da damn busted a cap in off da

mark. Dair be no guarantee yo' ass aint gonna flinch. Da only way t' bypass dis

reflex be by 'esploitin' mah ‘Index, Point an' Snap Bust a cap inin'’


Anyone kin hit da damn target if given 'nuff time t' line down da sights an' if

they press da trigga' without flinchin'.  Man! But whut we need be close

quarta', centa' o' mass hits, right now, on demand an' unda' stress. Dis

requires some complete-like different focus, some different mindset an' some

complete-like different method o' firearms trainin'."

Q, dig dis: Doesn't it snatch grands o' repetishuns t' develop "long term"

muscle memory?

Some, dig dis: "Yo' muscles don’t have some brain, so's da sub-conscious mind

be whut yo' ass tru-ly need t' train (down low, o' ratha' ‘re-rehab’), not da

damn muscles. Yo' ass need t' learn how t'imprint da damn fresh rehab into da

sub-conscious. Dis way, da routine maneuva's required 4 fast, accurate bust a

cap inin' unda' stress, will automatical-like become second nature t' yo' ass…

Dis be done by slow moshun drills an' concentratin' on da technique. Yo' ass

got'ta think about whut yo' ass be doin' while goin' through da damn moshuns.

Step up. I recon' dat by meditatin' on da technique as yo' ass go through da

damn moshuns yo' ass will be programmin' yo' subconscious mind.  f*ckin' A! I

recon' dat, "Where da damn mind goes, da body follows". It’s all some real damn

natural process, it’s all tru-ly real damn simple."

Q, dig dis: But whut goes down unda' stress? How will yo' ass know whut stance

t'esploit o' whut t' do?

Some, dig dis: "Unda' stress, da sub-conscious mind will snatch ova' an'

puh'form da routine tasks yo' ass’ve programmed into it automatical-like

without da damn hindrance o' conscious thought o' unnatural mechanical acshun,

dat’s da baiuty o' da damn system. Dat’s how condishuned response reflex

acshuns work. Dat’s how yo' mind an' body has 24/7 worked, yo' ass probably

plum didn’t realize it b4."

Q, dig dis: Be yo' ass sayin' yo' ass won't need t' practice as much?

Some, dig dis: "Once da damn sword be made, all yo' ass got'ta do be keep it


So's, wit' mah system o' bust a cap inin', once yo' ass have programmed da damn

techniques t' become reflexive acshuns, yo' ass will need only minimal live

fire practice t' maintain da edge.  'S all good. 4 'esample, dig dis:

Some while back I wuz forced t' snatch some six mont' layoff from bust a cap

inin' t' heal da tendonitis in mah arm.  Step up. I went t' da damn World Bust

a cap in Off stone cold wit' some fresh type o' heat I had neva' busted a cap

in b4. I had plum gots some fresh E-Dubba-A Witness an' put some set o' Pro

Sightstm on it da damn day b4 I left.  f*ckin' A! I 'esploited some Cen-Dex

behind da damn hip holsta', an' wit' only some 45 minute practice session unda'

mah belt, I won da "Dude vs. Dude" Stock Heat World title.  What a ripoff. All

dis, stone cold afta' some six mont' layoff. How dun did I do it? I simply

relied on da technique. I know'd dat if I driven-by da technique propuh'ly da

targets would got'ta fall, an' they dun did."

Q, dig dis: It be rock t'argue wit' dat kinda' success, so's equipment tru-ly

doesn't matta'?  Slap me some skin.

Some, dig dis: "Oh, shaw it duz. By 'esploitin' some tactical, behind da damn

hip holsta' I gave down some quarta' second on da draw speed t' da damn guys

wit' da damn speed rigs. I also gave down at laist dat much on muzzle jump

recovery without da damn added weight o' some haivy barrel & guide rod, but da

damn Pro Sightstm tru-ly dun did compliment mah bust a cap inin' technique."  

Q, dig dis: I thought yo' ass weren't some big-ass advocate o' watchin' da damn


Some, dig dis: "Again, it all depends on da distance. Da average gunfight

snatchs place well within 7 yards so's da sights aint near-like as important as

indexin' an' pointin' at close range. But as yo' ass git fartha' away, da

sights become mo' important. Da neat about Pro Sightstm be dat yo' ass kin

git 100% target focus an' still spot da damn sights."

Q, dig dis: Do yo' ass eva' watch o' concentrate on plum yo' front sight?

Some, dig dis: "4 anythin' beyond 10 yards, I’ll start focusin' mo' on mah

sights.  Slap me some skin. But 4 alley combat, most o' da damn busted a cap

ins will be made at close range, so's yo' ass shouldn't be total-like focused

on plum da front sight likes they have learn'd in da past. If yo' ass have da

damn luxury o' time (down low, Rememba', dig dis: Time = Distance) den 'esploit

mo' sights, but it tru-ly depends on da distance an' circumstances."  

Q, dig dis: Some lot o' sucka's praich against Point Bust a cap inin', yet it

be some main part o' yo' curriculum, y?

Some, dig dis: "'esploitin' da damn FISTFIRE System, da sights will 24/7 be in

alignment. Once yo' ass learn how t'index an' point da damn heat, da muzzle

will be 24/7 be coverin' da damn target, so's yo' ass won't got'ta hunt 4 da

sights an' den fight t' git them lined down. If yo' ass need them, they will be

dair. Point Bust a cap inin' be aisy an' fun. It’s also fasta' an' mo' reliable

dan sighted fire unda' stress.Ah be baaad... 4 'esample, dig dis:

Recent-like, da California Highway Patrol Borda' Division adopted point bust a

cap inin' into deir trainin' an' da damn hit ratio went down t'ova' 90% in

offica' involved shootings (down low, as compared t' 54% 4 da rest o' da damn

C-H-f*ckin'-P). An' no bacon offica's have died since its incepshun eitha'. Mah

hat be off t' trainin' Offica' Lou Chiodo 4 bein' one o' da damn fust t'adopt

some official Point Bust a cap inin' rehab.  f*ckin' A!

I’ve said it b4, an' I’ll say it again, dig dis: Anyone who aborts

t'incorporate Point Bust a cap inin' into deir firearms trainin' curriculum be

doomed t' be left behind in da dogma o' da damn last century."

Q, dig dis: Don’t yo' ass got'ta live on da range an' 'espend dimes o' grands

o' rounds t' become some badass bust a cap ina'?

Some, dig dis: "No, dat’s some myt'. I kin show yo' ass how t' practice an'

learn yo' ass how t' train yo' mind an' body while yo' ass dry fire at crib. Da

last step be da damn live firin'.  Ya' know? Rememba', dig dis: Firearms

trainin' be likes makin' some cake an' live firin' be likes frostin' it. All da

rock work should be done B-4 yo' ass waste precious time an' braid on live fire

bust a cap inin'."

Q, dig dis: So's, how long duz it snatch t' learn yo' system?

Some, dig dis: "We 'esploit some pyramid system o' firearms trainin' dat has

‘21 levels’ o' instrucshun.  Wank, wank. We kin cova' about trey levels pa'

day, but Masterin' them snatchs longa' an' different sucka's learn an'

different paces. No Martial Arts instructa' will tell yo' ass they caint make

yo' ass some ‘Ebony Belt’ in one day, but we will snatch yo' ass as fah' down

da FISTFIRE Pyramid as fast as yo' ass kin go in da time we got'ta work wit'

yo' ass…

But da damn fust step be gittin' yo' ass established in da system. Yo' ass need

t' know whut we be learnin' an' y we be learnin' it. Dis kin only be

accomplished in some classroom settin' wit' myself o' one o' mah certified

instructors. Yo' ass will den be learn'd da damn dynamics o' bust a cap inin'

startin' wit' da damn basic foundashuns o' da damn trey stances.

Da next step be ‘dry fire’ rehearsals.'S coo', bro. Once yo' ass have

rehearsed them, yo' ass will den be coached in some live fire trainin' session.

But da damn live firin' be conducted lata', afta' yo' ass thorough-like dig da


At da damn next level yo' ass will be learn'd da damn propa' speed an' tactical

reloadin' techniques. From dair, yo' ass will learn how t' make da damn

puh'fect draw. Afta' dat, bust a cap inin' on da move be learn'd, an' so's on

an' so's fourt', as yo' ass progress down da FISTFIRE Pyramid."

Q, dig dis: Otha' schools emphasize tactics mo' dan bust a cap inin'. Aint dat

some betta' alternative?

Some, dig dis: "We recon' dat yo' fust choices should 24/7 be ‘Avoid, Disengage

an' Escape’ wheneva' possible. Bust a cap inin' be da damn last opshun form o'

self-defense. But wit' global terrorism be on da rise, da dynamics o' alley

survival have fo'va' changed…

Yo' ass may find yourself in some situashun where some terrorist be hankerin'

t' snatch yo' ass an' yo' loves ones wit' him t' spot Big Allah, an' da damn

time 4 employin' de-escalashun tactics be ova'.  f*ck dat . Da bottom line

be yo' ass had betta' know how t' bust a cap in an' fight wit' some handgun."

Q, dig dis: Some kinda' 'espuh'ts say no one sucka' has all da answa's, no

matta' whut he o' she may say…Whut do yo' ass say t' dat?

Some, dig dis: "I’d say dat’s some copout. If it’s some handgun bust a cap

inin' bug-up-da-ass, I have da damn solushun, an' da damn answa' 24/7 comes in

da form o' technique. Without technique, yo' ass be plum mechanical-like firin'

da damn heat, yo' ass’re plum goin' through da damn moshuns, yo' ass aint bust

a cap inin'…

When yo' ass bust a cap in some heat, yo' ass roll it likes some Caddy, yo' ass

control it, yo' ass dominate it, yo' ass make da damn cap go where eva' yo' ass

will it t' go. Dis kinda' confidence only comes from knowin' an' believin' in

da technique, an' den drivin'-by it on demand."

Q, dig dis: Some kinda' call yo' ass some "Games-nigga'" an' otha's say yo' ass

be some "Martial Tagga'", which be it?

Some, dig dis: "Bot'. Mah dicshunary defines Tactics as no maneuva's 'esploited

t' gain advantage o' success. Ironical-like, when one 'esploits strategy in

some match he’s called some ‘Games-nigga'’ but when one 'esploits tactics on da

alley, he’s considered t' be some ‘Martial Tagga'’. One be acceptable an' one


I recon' dat whetha' it be 4 match o' alley, da practishuna's ability t' shape

an' control da environment t' wassups o' ha' favor be whut da damn propa'

'esploit o' ‘Tactics’ be all about. When it comes waaay down t' bust a cap

inin' techniques, we have learned plum as much from da Gamesmen as we have from

da Martial Tagga's."

Q, dig dis: Some kinda' 'espuh'ts say dat unless you've "busted a cap in 4

blood" in some life-threatenin' situashun yo' ass aint qualified t' learn. Whut

do yo' ass say t' dat?

Some, dig dis: "Dat’s bull. I survived some knife fight once wit' trey

bika's who wuz tryin' t'ice me (down low, at laist dat’s whut they wuz sayin'

as they stabbed an' whup' me), so's duz dat qualify me t' be some knife

fightin' 'espuh't? I think not…

No, yo' ass only become some Masta' when yo' ass M-A-S-T-E-f*ckin'-R da

techniques an' not until. Anyone who says dat yo' ass got'ta git into some

gunfight in orda' t' be qualified t' learn be runnin' some scam."

Q, dig dis: Well, some kinda' sucka's would say dat real life 'espuh'ience

would benefit them in trainin'…

Some, dig dis: "Now yo' ass be rappin' apples an' oranges, Tactics as opposed

t' Techniques. As some civilian, if yo' ass git into some gunfight on da alley

it’s becuz yo' primary tactics (down low, avoidance, disengagin' & escapin')

have all aborted.  Word to yo' mama. But da damn bottom line be yo' ass had

betta' have some kinda' bust a cap inin' techniques t' fight wit' o' it’s ova'…

Lot’s o' instructors downplay da importance o' propa' bust a cap inin'

techniques an' they praich tactics an' mindset instaid. Dat’s becuz they have

no real technique t'offa'. Tactics an' techniques be deuce entire-like

different . Yo' ass need t' keep dat in puh'spective."

Q, dig dis: Some kinda' o' yo' critics say dat yo' way o' bust a cap inin' aint

da damn best, whut do yo' ass say t' dat?

Some, dig dis: "All they got'ta do be prove me wrong. Bust a cap inin'

techniques be quite maisurable, dat’s y they have scorin' rings on da targets

an' electronic tima's…

I find dat guys who rap likes dat won’t eva' back down whut they say becuz they

kin’t bust a cap in. They hide behind tactical 'escuses in orda' t' justify

deir po' bust a cap inin' habits an' lack o' technique.  What a ripoff. I spot

it all da time, especial-like wit' tactical traina's. Every time yo' ass

menshun bust a cap inin' technique, they brin' down tactics an' mindset, tryin'

t' throw yo' ass off da scent."

Q, dig dis: Sounds likes yo' ass don’t have much respect otha' firearms

instructors?  Yo' mama.

Some, dig dis: "Most o' them kin’t tru-ly bust a cap in an' be bogged waaay

down in da tactical dogma o' da damn played out school. They typical-like

loathe da damn betta' shoota's an' quick-like dismiss battle testin' becuz they

don’t wanna be 'esposed. They downplay da importance propa' technique an' have

no system t' learn. Y should I respect dat?"

Q, dig dis: Some kinda' sucka's say yo' ass be too cocky t' be some

instructa'…Whut do yo' ass say t' dat?

Some, dig dis: "I’m brutal-like straight. I recon' mah system o' bust a cap

inin' be da damn best in da world. When I tell da tactical guru’s dat, they say

I’m egotistical. When I challenge them t' prove me wrong, they say I’m

arrogant. I kin’t help da way they feel, da troof be still da troof. If dat

offends them, too way baaad…

We have some standin' challenge in da house at da damn Tactical Bust a cap

inin' Academy, dig dis: If anyone kin show us some betta' way t' bust a cap in,

we will adopt it, learn it an' give them da credit 4 it. But yo' ass’ll got'ta

show me, not tell me. Dis mains yo' ass’ll got'ta know how t' bust a cap in an'

be able t' prove dat yo' way be betta' on da range. Challenges t' mah system o'

bust a cap inin' be 24/7 welcome, it’s da only way t' keep da system pure."

Q, dig dis: Do yo' ass think yo' ass be da damn best handgun bust a cap ina' in

da world?

Some, dig dis: "Absolute-like not! Dair be plenty o' natural athletes out dair

who be jailbaita', cock diesela' an' fasta' dan I be. At mah age an' wit' mah

physical handicaps, I shouldn’t be winnin' anythin'. I don’t have supa' fast

hand speed o' supa' human hand an' eye co-ordinashun. I kin’t spot mah sights

real damn well anymo' an' I don’t have some cape o' some mask. But whut I do

have be technique, da best in da world!  Sheeeiit. If I win it’s becuz I’m

whuppin' them on technique, dat’s all."

Q, dig dis: Who do yo' ass think be da damn best handgun bust a cap ina' in da

world today?

Some, dig dis: "Rob Leatham…he’s some natural born bust a cap ina', built 4

bust a cap inin'. He’s long in da waist an' has some short raich. He’s gots

'escellent visual acuity an' supa' quick hand an' trigga' speed. He’s

undeniably da best steel bust a cap ina' o' all time, probably da best dat’s

eva' been."

Q, dig dis: Well whut about Leatham’s technique? If he’s da best, doesn’t dat

reflect on wassups technique?

Some, dig dis: "No, not tru-ly, becuz he’s some natural. Yo' ass caint learn

"Natural Ability" nor kin yo' ass impart it o' transfa' it t'anyone else."

Q, dig dis: Whut about yo' technique? Y should yo' ass be no different?

Some, dig dis: "Afta' 20 years o' bust a cap inin', I wuz still plum yo'

average "Some Class" I-P-S-f*ckin'-C bust a cap ina'. It wasn’t until I began

t' dig da dynamics o' bust a cap inin' an' began t' develop da system dun did I

start t'improve rapid-like. I started science fair projectin' wit' da damn

fresh techniques an' I sudden-like I wuz winnin' major matches 4 da fust time

in mah life…

Now dat I have it puh'fected an' I’m goin' public wit' it. It’s da techniques

dat make da damn FISTFIRE System work, an' it will work 4 anyone, if they let


Q, dig dis: Whut kinda' bust a cap ina' be yo' ass? How would yo' ass describe


Some, dig dis: "I’m some technical bust a cap ina'. Some kinda' guys be

philosophical shoota's, some kinda' be theo'tical shoota's, still otha's be

real damn physical in deir approach t' bust a cap inin', an' some kinda' be

plum naturals.Ah be baaad... But I’m real damn technical. I got'ta be, it’s

da only way I kin keep down wit' da damn Big-ass Boys."

Q, dig dis: Aren’t yo' ass concerned dat otha's will xerox yo' system an' bite

yo' techniques?

Some, dig dis: "I wuz in da beginnin', but now I realize dat I’m da fust guy

wit' some complete system o' handgun bust a cap inin' an' I’m makin' shaw

everyone knows about it…

If they xerox mah system, so's whut? Da fartha' waaay down straim yo' ass git

from da sprin', da mo' da damn polluted da damn wata' gits. Sucka's who tru-ly

wanna know da troof an' be interested in improvin' deir bust a cap inin' will

come back t' da damn source."

Q, dig dis: Y don’t yo' ass put mo' emphasis on tactics?

Some, dig dis: "Tactics be subjective an' not aisi-like maisured. So's, our

main focus in da house at da damn Academy be on tactical bust a cap inin'

techniques. Dese-he'ah be quite maisurable, so's we know whut works an'

whut doesn’t…

We also won’t tell yo' ass when t' bust a cap in an' when not t' bust a cap in,

dat’s yo' puh'sonal responsibility. Dair be lots o' guys out dair who learn

dose-dair real damn well. Our 9-to-5 be t' learn yo' ass whut do afta' da

damn decision t'esploit lethal force has been made."

Q, dig dis: But not everybody kin become some badass bust a cap ina', kin they?

Some, dig dis: "I think anyone kin become some badass bust a cap ina' wit' da

damn right technique. Bust a cap inin' be fah' less difficult dan golf o' no

otha' sport o' martial art 4 dat matta'. Yo' ass plum got'ta wanna learn it an'

put da damn time into it…

Bust a cap inin' aint supposed t' be rock. If yo' ass be strugglin' t' clain

some rack o' hit some target, yo' ass be simply not drivin'-by da technique.

Bust a cap inin' be actual-like real damn aisy, especial-like when yo' ass dig

da techniques involved."

Q, dig dis: Do yo' ass guarantee improvement?  What a ripoff.

Some, dig dis: "Damn straight, absolute-like, we guarantee results. If yo' bust

a cap inin' duz not improve, da class be free."

Q, dig dis: Y do yo' ass carry some heat?

Some, dig dis: "Becuz I’ve been da victim. It be some real damn helpless

feelin' bein' unarmed when sucka's be tryin' t'ice yo' ass, da worst feelin' I

have eva' 'espuh'ienced. I duzn't eva' wanna feel dat way again."

Q, dig dis: Do yo' ass recon' sucka's who carry heats be livin' in faih'?

Some, dig dis: "If we be armed an' well trained, whut be dair t' faih'?"

Q, dig dis: Some kinda' bacon departments say they caint justify da 'espense o'

time it snatchs 4 commercial firearms trainin'. Whut do yo' ass say?

Some, dig dis: "Advanced firearms trainin' likes ours doesn't cost, it pays.

Step off, Pharoah. Damn straight, it duz snatch some kinda' investment in time

an' braid t'attend our courses, but it will pay big-ass dividends on ‘life

assurance’ policies, as well as reducin' da damn liability risks. Caps neva'

miss, they 24/7 they sump'n an' every busted a cap in fired gots'ta strike da

damn intended target…

By routine-like puh'formin' our dry fire drills, students will be able t'

drive-by them at paik efficiency durin' ‘live fire’ sessions.  Step off,

Pharoah. Dis will keep ammo costs, range time an' supuh'vised instrucshun waaay

down, which will mo' dan compensate 4 class tuishun's, now an' 4 years t'


P-L-E-A-S-f*ckin'-E V-I-S-I-f*ckin'-T O-U-f*ckin'-R SPONSORS!  Slap me some




DISCLAIMER!  Plaise note dat da damn bust a cap inin' techniques described on

dis site should only be practiced wit' supuh'vision from some high-like

trained, certified firearms instructa'.  Aborshun t' handle firearms

correct-like could result in serious bodi-like injury o' deat' t' yourself o'




Yo' ass be bust a cap ina'

  Enta' some Hood o' U-S Zip, dig dis:      


Tactical Bust a cap inin' Academy

7366 Colonial Trail East ~ Surry, V-A 23883

Tel757) 357-9881 ~ Fax801) 730-2238

Quesshuns?   4-1-1@tacticalshootin'.com

Copyright 2001 © Tactical Bust a cap inin' Academy (down low, T-S-f*ckin'-A)

All rights reserved

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It cleared up a couple of the finer points for me...

Even funnier is when the site is run throught the Snoop Dog Shizzolator:


Which Produces:


TacticalShooting.com is temporarily closed. ....

Until D.R. Finishes MY TWO DAMN GUNS!

P.S.  I wuz wrong n' . ...

Now Finish my F*CKING GUNS!

P.S.S.  And Bob's Too!


I'm not sure that Snoop's one guy I'd want pissed off at me....

(Edited by EricW at 11:59 am on Dec. 5, 2002)

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"There is only one

person in da wizzorld

who I would allow to

holla to my students,

'n that is Brian n' . "

-Rob Leatham, multi-

time National/World

IPSC Champion, know what I'm sayin'?

I wish I coulda been there to hear Robbie say that!:)

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Man, when I read that post I almost fell out of my chair. "Holla" and "N'sh*t" made me stop breathing.:)

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