How Do These People Survive?

[AGYoung]

1.) Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

2.) I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had

scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

3.) A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

4.) I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocked. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

5.) Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank

piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

6.) My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming

from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

7.) Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

8.) A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine. The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him to emergency!

Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid

[tightloop]

Makes you wonder,doesn't it???

[Matt Cheely]

7.) Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

I don't care who ya are. That there's funny.

[DMH]

I actually witnessed a Mickey D's manager refuse to give a customer a small drink when he was willing to pay for a large. When he asked her to give him a small cup or only fill the big cup halfway, she replied "I don't have a button on the dispensing machine for that."

It's a sad world....

[AlamoShooter]

My wife and I ended up with a manager at a fast food place after I told the kid I would not pay $18.45 for two $3.35 sandwitches and two .99 drinks and one $1.75 bag of FF

They said No the computer says it is $18.45 = I said No it is not = it is somthing close to $11 +and change for tax. The Manager = in his 30s says well what part do you not want, all of it or what?? At this point he and the kid have punched in the stuff four to five times and stil come up with $18.45 and try to convince us each time the reg is right and I must be wrong.

I said do the math = and walked him through the ### he gets a strange look punches the cash reg/ computer and Says' The reg says $18.45! he way trying to be nice.

I gave them a big smile ...very big and said OK 3.35 and 3.35 is less than $7 dollars ..Right? Ok.. two drinks at .99 is less than $2 dollars ...Right??? Ok 7 +2 is 9! Right??? Now... we add the $1.75 for the French Fries and we have...??? = ???? I had to say it ...Just under $11 dollars Right??? = he said 'Ok Right'... But you gota add TAX to that"!... I did not bust out laughing ...I swear I kept a straight face., ... and I said yes ...yes we do but I don't think tax on $11 dollars is $7.45 At that point we got a light in his eyes and he went to the inside reg and came back with the correct amount and said...' you were right!' I am sorry, And the origional Kid 16 -18 years old, on the reg was watching the Manager the entire time = never had a clue.

As we were leaving the manager was trying to explain what had just happened.

Linda and I looked around for a camera crew, but it was just us.

Edited February 23, 2006 by AlamoShooter

[Matt Cheely]

That's sad...

[tightloop]

I tried to pay for a tank of gas with a 100 dollar bill and the guy inside could not make change..pitiful..

[AlamoShooter]

I tried to pay for a tank of gas with a 100 dollar bill and the guy inside could not make change..pitiful..

Well Dauaa... $100.00 was $12 short a tank of gas is $112.00 even I know that

[Genghis]

What about the transcript of the tech support call from the woman who couldn't get her computer working? The rep went through his whole checklist, then stumbled over the fact that the comp was not plugged in. He walked her through packing it up in the original box to send it back, and when she asked why, he said, "Because you're too f___ing stupid to own a computer!"

In my younger days I would occasionally say to a girl, "What's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?" More often than not she would look puzzled then smile and thank me for the compliment.

But one of the best ever was the perp who robbed the liquor store, got the money, then on the way out demanded a bottle of tequila. The clerk refused, saying that he could get in trouble for not carding the guy. The perp produced his ID and got his bottle, but the cops showed up at his house after the clerk called with the name and address.

[AikiDale]

Forgive me if I've posted this previously, but there was a would be bank robber in Louisville who came to a drive through and demanded money. The teller, behind her bullet proof glass, said, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to go inside for that transactio." And he did. Can you imagine the surprise on his face when they were waiting for him?

[sendf1]

I really wish stupid hurt.

[AlamoShooter]

I really wish stupid hurt.

1/2 of my scars have stupid in them... most of them hurt

[Waltermitty]

I really wish stupid hurt.

The root problem is that our society has gone too far and has been too successful in protecting these people from themselves.

From warning labels that keep them from using thier blow dryers in the bathtub to interlocks in cars that keep them from shifting out of Park unless thier foot is on the brake to the multitude of rails, guards, airbags, mandatory seatbelt and carseat laws, lawnmower and chainsaw interlocks and "Warning, this bag is not a Toy" programs we have made a serious and unfortunate dent in the natural selection process that had been improving the species for untold millennia.

By our well-intentioned (and misguided) efforts, we have protected those lines of genetic traits that otherwise should have been left to remove themselves from the gene pool either by accident or starvation. Since members of these groups tend to propagate profusely, thier numbers are increasing expotentially while thier ever creative ways of offing themselves motivate social engineers to come up with ever more effective ways to protect them.

We have interfered with evolution and broken it. We will be replaced by a species that has no need for child-proof caps.

[DJPoLo]

1/2 of my scars have stupid in them... most of them hurt

See my tagline.

-Chet

[Huston in Austin]

I tried to pay for a tank of gas with a 100 dollar bill and the guy inside could not make change..pitiful..

Well Dauaa... $100.00 was $12 short a tank of gas is $112.00 even I know that

With a 42 gal tank in my diesel p/u that isn't funny, oh did I mention the 140 gal aux tank in the back. I need a loan to fill up.

Huston in Austin

[SiG Lady]

...yes, the dumbing-down of our species is an embarrassment to the entire Solar System... and beyond.