Police Talk

[CSEMARTIN]

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos

around the country.

>

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch

out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a

worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,

that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can

write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it

will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again

or I'll give you another ! ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk

or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to

ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster

oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now

we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of

yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ... You're right, we

don't. Sign here.

[dajarrel]

I like #14

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a

worthless document."

[outerlimits]

don't see the humor...

[SiG Lady]

No. 3 is cool...!... But then, so is No. 12.

[blackdragon]

Here were my favorites:

"You might beat the rap, But you won't beat the ride"

" Like I care?"

" Yup!"

Ivan

[DMS42]

A friend of mine got a speeding ticket a long time ago. He took a day off work to go to court with the idea of fighting the ticket. He said that the idea went out the window....

Officer reading from his notebook during the hearing "I was clocking the car in front of me at 80 mph when I noticed headlights approaching from the rear."