A Priest, A Rabbi And A Preacher....

[JakeMartens]

A priest, a rabbi and a Pentecostal preacher all served as

chaplains

to the students of Northern Mich U in Marquette. They would

get

together two or three times a week for coffee and to

talk "shop."

One day someone made the comment that preaching to people

isn't

really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a

bear.

Well, one thing led to another and before it was over they

decided to

do a 7 day experiment.

They would all go out into the woods, find a bear and preach

to

it...................... It's now 7 days later and they're

all

together to discuss the experience. Father O'Flannery, who

has his

arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages

goes first.

"Wellll," he says in a fine Irish brouge, "Ey wint oot into

th'

wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to

rread

to him from the Baltimorre Chatecism. Welll, thet bearr

wanted naught

to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed

me holy

water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he becam as gintle as a

lamb. The

bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion

und

confierrmation."

Reverend Billy Bob speaks next. He's in a wheel chair, with

an arm

and both legs in casts and an I.V. drip. In his best fire and

brimstone oratory he proclaims, "WELL brothers....you KNOW

that we

don't sprinkle.... WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a

bear. And

then I began to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But

that bear

wanted nothing to do with me.

I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD

of him

and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another

and DOWN

another until we come to a crick. So'se I quick DUNK him and

BAPTIZE

his hairy soul. An' jus like you you sez, he wuz gentle as a

lamb. We

spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's

OOOOLY

word."

They both look down at the rabbi who's lying in a hospital

bed. He's

in a body cast & traction with IV's and monitors running in

and out

of him. The rabbi looks up and says "Oy! You don't know what

tough is

until you try to circumcise one of those creatures

[AikiDale]

Praise him.

[tightloop]

Give me a Big Amen....

[Liota]

I'm only guessing here, but I don't think the bear was gentle as a lamb when the Rebbe got done with him.

L

[AikiDale]

That's what happens when you bring a knife to a gun fight.

[Merlin Orr]

Three Holy Men and a Bear revisited.........

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people Isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages

on his body and limbs, went first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from The Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became

as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, "WELL, Brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle!

I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled

down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy Soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.

We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the rabbi, Who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.