Sterling White Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Marriage You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted" Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying." A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son! ." Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late." Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep. Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive." A Woman's Prayer Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man , to love and to forgive him, and for Patience, or his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death. Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the tic! king of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nolan Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 The first year of marriage the Wife listens. The second year of marriage the Husband listens. The third year of marriage the Neighbors listen! Nolan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flyin40 Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the tic! king of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up." This one made me laugh Flyin40 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Sounds like all you guys are down on marriage... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Well, my guess is we've all had at least ONE bad one... maybe more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 I might start a thread on why you should still be friends with your EX.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 And I could start one on why you SHOULDN'T... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlamoShooter Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 With kids people end up meeting your X ,, ,, I always got that look from them after,- ?What were you thinking? ?when you married her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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