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You Know You're A Shooter When....


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you know when you are a shooter if you have wore your CR Speed inner belt as a regular belt, and thought nothing of it.

Guilty as charged :P:P:P

LOL!! Me too. Convenient... and doesn't black "go" with almost anything? ;)

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you know your a shooter when:

- your office calendar depicts every single local club match schedule within a 2 hour drive

- you keep an up date to "wish list" of gun stuff saved on the desktop of your computer so your wife will know what to buy

- you have to justify by priority any non-firearm related purchases

- your idea of quality time with your kids is sorting the weeks range brass and loading it up for the next range session

- you have multiple pictures of your 5-yr old helping you load on your 550

- the house you buy/rent is completely determined by whether or not it has a room (min req of 15' x 15'...more is better) that you can dedicate to your guns/loading equipment

- you spend your lunch break at the local range at least 3 or more times per week

- your email username consists of some combination of gun model/caliber/or IPSC motto

- your wife is seriously concerned that your shooting habits may affect your childs ability to go to college

- you have converted at least 5 of your closest non-shooting neighbors into dedicated firearms enthusiasts and regular IPSC match attendees

- the MP working the weapons registration booth at your military base has to check with the Provost Marshall as to whether there is a limit to the number of weapons you can register

- you fire more bullets in a month than an entire Infantry Platoon

- your posting more comments to the 7 pages that are already on this thread

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- the house you buy/rent is completely determined by whether or not it has a room (min req of 15' x 15'...more is better) that you can dedicate to your guns/loading equipment

Guilty...big time. A key factor in the last three houses that I've bought were there ability to hold reloading equipment and have adequate closet space for my safe. :lol:

SS45DVC,

I don't suppose you work at the USDB do you?

Rich

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SS45DVC,

I don't suppose you work at the USDB do you?

Rich

Rich,

No, I'm an Infantry guy that works for the Battle Command Training Program on Leavenworth. I drive by the USDB on the way to the range every week. The old DB is being dismantled....they built a new one a while back.

Stephen

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You tell your boss, I don't care what you schedule me, but I have to have my match dates off.

You work everynight before the match until 0400 hours, so you keep your gear in your car change after work, drive the hour and a half to the range, and sleep in your car until someone comes to open the gate at 0800, then help set up instead of sleep.

When you talk in your sleep, you call out, "Come here TRS, come here.", just like you are calling a dog. And when your wife asks you the next morning what a TRS is, you reply, "A Les Baer Thunder Ranch Special.", like she is supposed to know what you are talking about.

When you have shot more rounds by the age of 26, then all the other members of the police department you work for... combined.

You became a cop, because you get to carry your gun all day and nobody complains. (Not the only reason but a big part of it.)

You stay with the LE agency that you work for, even though you could make much better money at other agencies, because they let you carry a 1911.

When you go on vacation, you go to matches, and your wife goes shopping and sees the local attractions.

Jon

Edited by zen_grasshopper
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  • 2 weeks later...

What if...

You stand before a military NCO of The Quarter board with three members and all you can think is "two two two reload two two two"?

Guilty as charged.

Wearing the inner belt as a normal belt? Riiiipp... :unsure:

Liota

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Okay, dear. Where do you want to go on vacation this year?

Orlando / Disneyland / Florida Open?

Kansas City / Shopping on the Plaza / Area 3

Gulf Coast / Casinos / Beach / Mississippi Classic

What's your pleasure?

Tls

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  • 2 weeks later...

A new one I just realized today:

You know you're a shooter when you cut your hand at the range, and your very first concern is to make sure you don't bleed on your gun...

"Yessir, your Honor, I surely am guilty of that 'un..."

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You know you're a shooter when the only reason you go to a gun show is to buy primers. Everyone else at the gunshow gawks at the 15K of primers under your arm. You, on the other hand, are slightly embarassed at only buying so few.....because that was all the dealer had.

You know you're a shooter when you have a permanent scar on the web of your right hand and the accompanying bloodspattered t-shirts to prove you have a type AAA personality.

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A new one I just realized today:

You know you're a shooter when you cut your hand at the range, and your very first concern is to make sure you don't bleed on your gun...

"Yessir, your Honor, I surely am guilty of that 'un..."

And you fix the cut it with what ever material is available and target tape.

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When a congresscritter stands up on the floor of the House or Senate and proposes that an Arsenal License should be required for people possessing more than 1000 rounds of ammunition...and you note the fact that you probably have more than that rolling around loose in the trunk of your car....

Man...that's no joke...I got a couple extra miles a gallon after I hauled all the full ammo cans out of my Subaru.

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On a first date we went to the movies....we were at the counter getting popcorn and a drink and the microwave went "beep"............. i snapped to my carry gun from a relaxed position. I caught myself at the right moment! She busted out laughing and so did I. That girl now has a ring on her finger! You know you're both shooters at that point!

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If You've ever dabbed a little Hoppe's on your neck before going on a date...

If you bought checkering tools, checkered all your gunstocks and are now starting on the bedposts...

If you cannot really recall just how many guns you own...

Surplus ammunition suppliers call you to see if there was anything you were looking for...

If you bought a gun from a gunshop, only to realize you used to own it years ago...

If you've ever shot out a 1911 barrel.........

If you save brass and have a case tumbler, but don't reload...

If you ever stripped the paint off of your car and then blued it

If you've ever bought ammo for a caliber you didn't shoot, thinking that someday you might own a gun in that caliber...

If your computer passwords are gun related...

If your five-year-old can detail strip and fully reassemble an M-1 Garand............

If you take your guns out of the safe and handle them, just so you can wipe them down before going to bed...

If your local gunsmith calls you for obsolete parts...

If you home-school and use ballistic tables for math lessons...

If your gun safe is bigger than your refrigerator...

If the speedometer on your car is in both m.p.h. and fps...

If you call Brownells and they recognize your voice...

If you own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot...

If you understand Smith and Wesson's model numbers...

If you ever bought two different brands of the same bullet just to see which one "shot better"...

If you've ever had to explain "that it's not the same gun it's a variant!"...

If watching the Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro...

If you cut out your best groups and carry them in your wallet like photos...

If you've ever gone to a gun show three times in one month, and were excited every time...

If you feel that a golf course is a willful and deliberate misuse of a perfectly good rifle range...

If you ever accidentally seasoned a steak with FFFFg black powder...

If your brass tumbler used to be a small cement mixer...

If you identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's Blue Press before you notice the girl...

If you make $30/hr at work and spent 35 min- on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of .40 brass...

If you have guns in your safes that you can't for the life of you remember how you came by...

If the FBI asks you to identify firearms they can't...

If ammo manufacturers had to layoff workers when you went to Europe for a month's vacation...

If you know the range of every tree in the neighborhood...

If you can tell the caliber of any spent casing just by feel...

If you plead with the gun shop to hold a rifle/shotgun until you have space for it...

If you can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say "Bushmaster"...

If you didn't get that last one because you don't have any "non-shooting" friends...

If your driver's license says "must wear night vision goggles."

If your shoulder is callused...

If manufacturers ask you how their rifles hold up.

If you get misty eyed evey time you sell a gun..

If you alternate Silvertips, Hydra-Shoks and Black Talons in your magazines because they look prettier that way..........

If you guess windage and range every time you look at a road sign...

If you went out to the range this weekend to shoot up ammo, just so you'd have some brass to reload...

RCBS answers your phone calls, "What have YOU dreamed up this time?"..............

If you can name the parts of your post-ban rifle you had to (or want to) swap out to make a legal semi auto AW

If someone asks about the president and you think they're talking about Charlton Heston...

If you know the model numbers of your Glocks, how many and what size mags you have, and which are loaded, but have no idea when your anniversary is....

If you've ever had to explain why you need armor piercing rounds to someone...

If you don't know that there is a difference between "the Internet" and "Glock Talk"

If you have ever run out of gas in your car, but have never run out of ammo before

If you know the serial numbers of your guns, but still get your kids' names mixed up.

If you hold a firearms related record in Guiness book of world records.

If you go to gun shows with a grocery buggy (painted camo of course)

If you had to explain to someone what a "SHTF scenerio" is

If the National Guard calls you when things get a little too hot

If you had a gun rack on your bike when you were a kid

If you know why 30-06 is pronounced "thirty alt six"

If you buy all of your clothes at wal-mart but own some of the most expensive holsters known to man

If your name is on California's AW ban

If you walk up on a conversation about horses and as soon as you hear "colt", you are immediately interested...

If your favorite saint is John Moses Browning.

If your favorite paint color is "gun metal grey".

If you break off on a dissertation on how badly congress screwed Bill Ruger.

If you anticipate another shooting session AS you are putting your guns away at the range.

If you look at Shotgun News the way teenagers look at playboy

If every street sign within 5 miles of your house looks like it came from chechnya

If you went to college, but owned more gun manuals than text books

If the national guard armory has your phone number on "call block" because you keep making bids on their WWII artillery piece sitting out front

If you carry a backup gun in case the backup for your backup fails.

If you carry concealed at the beach

If third world arms dealers consider you to be the largest gun runner in the world (but you keep all the stuff for yourself)

If you were arrested/questioned about the sniper shootings

If you've filled out more "yellow forms" than income tax forms

If you have your own VIP parking spot at gun shows.

If you hear someone say "it's about 9:45" and you think to yourself "good grief, the 9mm/.45 debate will never end!"

If you sit through a violent movie and aren't bothered by gory violence, but flinch when someone drops a firearm (might scratch it)

If the above has ever brought tears to your eyes

If you have been banned from a movie theater because you always stand up in the middle of the movie and tell everyone you can't fire 30 rounds from a revolver without reloading.

If you ever took apart your Nintendo zapper and installed custom trigger,laser sight, scope, etc. for Duck Hunt

If you have more firearms than friends

If you have insurance covering your guns, but not you

If Hillary Clinton makes your skin crawl.

If you slide your paddle holster on to check your mail.

If you slide your paddle holster on to take out the garbage.

If you find yourself rapidly disassembling/re-assembling your handgun....in the dark.....on the toilet.

If you drive to work with a $1500 Kimber in a $500 pick-up.

If you've spent more than twenty minutes writing "you might be a gun nut if's.

If your guns are named names usually reserved for people

If you designed your own caliber and built a firearm to fire it

If you grew up with loaded guns all around you, but it never crossed your mind to shoot up your school.

If you've read the Constitution

If you know the second amendment by heart

If you know the second amendment translated into more than 3 laguages

If you used to have a hill as a backstop, but now it has become a 30 foot high mound of pure lead.

If you make your own reloading tools

If you make your own powder

If you don't label your reloading powder, because you can hear the difference when shaking the can

If you have ever read an article in the crime section of the newspaper and read "the suspect had over 200 rounds of ammunition", then assumed it was a misprint. who in his right mind would get down to only 200 rounds???

If your CCW is a shotgun

If your CCW is a .50

If your CCW is a LAW

If you find yourself doing trigger and muzzle control on the bottle of your wife's glass cleaner

If your girlfriend/wife is jealous of the time you spend with your guns

If your wishlist on midwayusa totals up to the price of a new car

If that new car would be a Bentley

If you're already thinking about your next gun while your filling out the paperwork on the one you're buying.

If the guys at the local gun shop send you a christmas card

If you own guns you haven't shot yet

If you have a room in your house dedicated to guns

If when someone says "but what if you don't have a gun with you?" and after 15 minutes you still can't comprehend how that would be possible.

If the sound of full auto gun fire makes you feel all warm and fuzzy

If you shook the presents under your tree, and one fired a round out of it.

If you've spent more money at Midway USA, Brownell's, and Cabela's than the companies are worth.

If your will specifies your favorite firearm(s) to be buried with you.

If the glock talk logo is burned into your monitor.

If you have had a friend who thought knives were soooo cool and dangerous, then you showed him your AK-47 collection

If you wonder why you must renew your CCW license every year, but your marriage license won't expire.

If someone asks how many guns you have, and the answer begins with "about" (i.e. "about 50 or so").

If you took an ink blot test, and your answers were things like "an AR-15 sear", "bolt release from ruger 10-22", "firing pin from M1911", etc.

If you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of your wife's eyes.

If you have ever shot a hole in something on accident

If that something was your TV during a Bush/Gore debate

If you buy Hoppe's solvent in 50 gallon drums because your howitzer "likes" it

If the gun show owners let you in free.

If you named a dog after a gun.

If you name your kids after your guns.

If you time yourself each time you fill out one of those yellow forms, and you're down to a minute flat.

If NICS put your favorite gun dealer on call block.

If you're only dating/marrying a girl so you can shoot her gun collection.

If the wallpaper on your desktop is firearm related

If the wallpaper in a room of your house is firearm related

If you have no wallpaper or house, but live in a dug-out underground bunker to keep your guns safe

If CNN does a report on gun control and shows a table of guns from a gun show, and one of them has your name engraved on the side.

If you carry pictures of your guns in your wallet

If you ever heard gun shots outside your house late at night, but fell into a state of sheer panic because you couldn't decide which gun to grab.

If your favorites in the computer only have one folder, "guns."

If when your wife haves .357 sig brass as earings at the tupperware party you show them your Glock

If your gold tooth is made of melted brass

If you get arrested for possesion of a gram of black powder

If your kids have Glock as middle names

If your kid's bike is on a bipod

If you go out with bird watchers with a 3-9 scope

If your walkman is made by Peltor

If your kid's vocabulary consists of ballistics, trajectory, clusters, magnums, parallax

If your wife loves to shop at Glockstore, Glockmeister, Topglock etc.

If you shower the bride and groom with brass

If you double tap when knocking on doors

If you get excited when you see the Target store logo

If you buy your kids a book each and buy yourself five gun magazines

If your tennis attire has Glock logos

If your Golf bag has a gun compartment

If you lubricate your kid's bikes with Hoppe's

If your banana holds 40 rounds

If your car is coated with tennifer

If you light your charcoal with gun powder

If your kids would rather go to a gun show than Kings Dominion or Disney World

If you are the only one with a vest without a camera

If your apartment complex cites -you- as the reason they don't need on-site security.

If someone you've never met comes to your door and says, "I was given your name. Can you help me while I get my stuff out of my boyfriend's/husband's apartment?"

If the person who gave your name is a local Police Officer.

If your local Police Department makes a point of calling you at home to tell you about the sex-offender/felon who just moved into your area.

If you've been in a local gun shop and had a sales clerk ask you a question about a firearm, because no one else in the shop knows the answer.

If the above occurs so they can make a sale.

If one of your local gun shops asks you to come work for them, because you've shown more knowledge than their employees.

If the above occurs at a shop you don't normally frequent.

If your local Police Department asks you what you think about the new handgun they're thinking about issuing.

If you've ever been asked by your local Police Department to bring in one or more of your weapons for them to show off, because they're "Better than this crap we're carrying."

If you've ever gotten out of a ticket by offering to take the Officer shooting.

If you've ever been pulled over by a Police Officer so she can ask you to take her shooting.

If you've ever been pulled over by a local Police Department just so they can ask you a question about one of your weapons, or your ammunition.

If you've ever had people fly into the state, or country, just to fire some of your weapons.

If you've ever talked about your latest acquisition and heard the words, "How the hell'd you get your hands on that?"

If your name has ever been given to a new recruit at your local Police Department along with the words, "Don't bother asking, he's going to have a gun on him somewhere."

If your boss has ever given you a box of ammunition as a reward for a 'Job Well Done', and you don't work in a firearms friendly place.

If you've ever taken the day off work to go shooting, hunting, to the smith, or to purchase a new handgun, and yet you refuse to call in sick.

If your primary requirement for a soft-side briefcase, for work, is how well it can carry one of your preferred sidearms.

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He basically copied off the whole thread in summary...

But I like the one about the gun safe being bigger than your fridge..... :lol:

However...

"If you're already thinking about your next gun while your filling out the paperwork on the one you're buying..."

Guilty as charged. :ph34r:;)

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Uuhh gun safes that are smaller than a fridge aren't much good. They don't hold enough guns! :D

And once again the reason I bought one car rather than another car was because it would hold my pistol box in the trunk. :huh:

Edited by DMS42
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i just met merlin the other day, i've never seen someone back himself into a corner as fast as he did, and then 15 minutes later ask if he had introduced himself. this of course was due to SCOUT walking into benny hill's shop ahead of me. i also think merlin had someone else type all that stuff for him cuz, theres no way he could stay off the phone long enuf to do it himself.

good to meet you merlin, see ya agin some time. trapr

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  • 1 year later...

I am sure Leo won't mind me copying this stuff from his site, I thought would be fun to start a new treat on this. Please reply with whatever you have...

I have a few but these are my personal favorites…

1) I named my two kids Alex and Allison, besides their names being absolutely beautiful I thought having two Alphas would help. :rolleyes:

2) I have more shooting buddies on my cell phone speed dial than business contacts. :surprise:

DVC,

Sandro

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A SHOOTER WHEN...

(See Personal Favorites toward the end - credits follow the entries!)

…your friends think it's hysterical to set off a beeper in your ear when you're sleeping.

...you sign a check with your signature and uspsa number.

...you think a mortgage is a terrible waste of shooting money.

...people automatically phone you at the gun dealer's before bothering to call you at home.

...you're forced to wear your suit jacket everyday at work because the only shirts you own have STI, SVI, Dillon or Universal Shooting Academy emblazoned across the backs.

...you go to the match site anyway on a rainy day just to bitch about the weather and drink beer.

…the smell of bug spray reminds you of summer matches.

…you think of Ray Woodford, Ronnie Elrod, Kim Stroud and Bubba (huh?) as famous.

…you can't think of a good reason to pick up your mail for three weeks after your issues of "Front Sight" and "Gun Games" arrive.

…your six year old son is a class C shooter.

...you try to apply lipstick with a loaded cartridge mistakenly taken from your stock of ammo stored in your makeup bag.

…you go to divorce court and are willing to give up everything except your reload equipment and used brass.

…you don't remember your anniversary or your mother's birthday, but you know down to the percentage of a point what your match scores have been for the past two and a half years.

…your business suits have oversized belt loops.

…you can't imagine anybody going on vacation without their range bag.

…tan is your favorite color.

…on a full moon night, you look up and think "No Shoot!"

…you know Wadette's email address and don't even know your own.

…you have no idea what is happening on the weekends in your own town, your own neighborhood or even your own house.

…you name your dog "popper."

…you see more little targets hanging on your Christmas tree than you see real ones at matches all year long.

…you refer to your girlfriend dumping you as a "DQ."

…after you get your car washed, you ask for gunpowder-scented air freshener.

…you refuse to break the 180 when entering an elevator.

…your gun costs more than your car.

…you forget to lower your voice when talking to your non-shooting friends.

…you know to the foot how many yards it is from your driveway to the range.

…whenever you open a door for somebody, you yell "range clear."

…your favorite movie doesn't last more than 60 seconds.

…somebody asks you for a match and you go into full detail of dates, times and range directions.

...you think there could be a relationship between your latest VISA statement and getting a surprise visit from <Sandy Strayer, David Skinner, etc.> who wants to meet you.

...you can't balance your checkbook, but CAN explain the point system.

...you're named "co-defendant" in your UPS guy's Workman's Comp case. (got this idea from Joey Cartwright's Corner)

AND PERSONAL FAVORITES:

...you try to talk your way out of a speeding ticket based on "professional

courtesy." (Jeff Dombrowski, da Cop, Michigan)

...you don't know what you are going to do with yourself on the one weekend out of the year that you don't have a match until you realize that the range will now be open for practicing. (Leo Llanes and Jerry Burnett)

...you purchase a computer and only have 2 icon links on your desktop, one to your club match results and the other to uspsa. (Leo)

...your family is thankful that there is only one match per weekend because, otherwise, you would have to quit your full-time job to make more time for reloading. (Leo)

...you do all the planning for the family vacation: the family is sent to Disney and you go to the out-of-area match. (Leo)

...the double-door gun safe replaces the china cabinet in your dining room. (Leo)

...you laugh your way through the latest Steven Seagal movie and find out afterwards that it wasn't a comedy. (Stewart Pomeroy)

...you find yourself carting a wagon with a cooler and range bag around with you everywhere you go. (Stewart Pomeroy) (note: he really does)

...you and your wife's opinions differ in whether your reload equipment is considered "decorative furnishings" in your bedroom. (Leo)

...you clean your racegun at the kitchen sink but you don't help wash the dishes. (Lee Leonard)

...you double tap the shutter button on your camera when you take a picture. (Chris Cox)

...your gun shop charges you rent. (Chris Cox)

...you yell "shooter ready!" while standing in front of a urinal. (wow Chris)

...you wake up in a cold sweat from a dream about being forced to give up your STI to your ex-wife in divorce court but in real life, you have no plans for a divorce. (Chris Cox)

...the first number on your phone speed-dialer is to Dillon Precision. (Jerry Burnett, Oregon)

...you won't buy a sports car because there's no room in the trunk for your range cart. (Jerry Burnett, Oregon)

...you know there are two "L's" in Sedro Woolley. (Jerry Burnett, Oregon)

...you are automatically issued a plane ticket every year to Barry, Illinois. (Jerry Burnett, Oregon)

...what everyone thinks is your aftershave is really Hoppe's #9. (Jerry Burnett, Oregon)

...you have no clean towels but your black BDU's are drycleaned every week. (Jerry Burnett, Oregon)

...your calendar reads "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Reloading Day, Match Day, Match Day." (Jerry Burnett, Oregon)

...your favorite video is "The 1996 Open Nationals." (congrats Jerry)

...you own 3 pairs of sunglasses in different colors and they're all impact-resistant! (Jerry Burnett, Oregon)

...you practice dry-firing in front of your TV during "The Muppets" and "The Simpsons" because primary colors are easier to see. (how old are you Jerry?)

AND:

...your arm muscles get tight, you hyperventilate, your blood pressure goes sky high and you get double vision at the mere sight of two little words, "South Africa."

AND:

...ALL the above apply to you but you can't figure out if that's good news or bad news. (Marshall Ankrom, Ohio)

You think that it is a good decision to buy a Glock 35 for $500+ dollars before you spend that much on a good bed for your bad back...or a S&W 625....or an AR for 3 gun. (Barry Summerlin Jacksonville, FL)

You think it is a "must have" to get another Dillon so you won't have to change the press from large to small primers.(Barry Summerlin Jacksonville, FL)

You think nothing of ordering 10000 jacketed bullets, but squawk about the cost of a dinner and a movie with your significant other. The woman, not the STI, dummy.(Barry Summerlin Jacksonville, FL)

When you wear green olive BDU’s and a black armor shirt to match your olive green and black slide Glock! (S. Perez SW Florida)

WRITTEN AND COMPILED BY: Jannie "Foxworthy" (no, I don't have anything better to do until my STI gets here) .

Edited by 3quartertime
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