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Braxton1
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I got this one from the late Lewis Grizzard, a columnist in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.  It works best if you can tell it with a heavy British accent:

 

Two older brothers were on a train travelling across southern England.  One of them was hard-of-hearing.  Sitting across from them was a highly-decorated Army officer, complete with the uniform, medals, and handlebar mustache.  The deaf brother looks at his brother and says, "Ask the Officer if he ever served in India.".  The brother says, "Pardon me Officer, but my brother would like to know if you ever served in India.". 

 

The man replied, "Ah yes, India.  I was there for 27 years.  Beautiful place, beautiful people.". 

 

The deaf brother says, "What did he say?". 

 

The brother yells back, "HE WAS IN INDIA!".

 

A few miles pass and the deaf brother says, "Ask the Officer if he ever served in Punjab.".  The brother says, "Pardon me again Officer, but my brother would like to know if you ever served in the state of Punjab.". 

 

"Ah yes, Punjab.  I was there with the Queen's 57th Fusilier Regiment.  Beautiful place, beautiful people.". 

 

The deaf brother says, "What did he say?". 

 

The brother tells him, "HE WAS IN PUNJAB!".

 

A few more minutes pass and the deaf brother says, "Ask the Officer if he ever knew a Lady Eleanor.".  The brother says, "Pardon me again Officer, but my brother would like to know if you ever knew a Lady Eleanor.". 

 

"Ah yes, Lady El'nor.  Knew her well.  All the men and Officers of my Brigade said that she gave the best oral pleasures of all the ladies in Punjab.". 

 

"What did he say?". 

 

"HE KNOWS MOTHER!!".

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