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Dealing with the crab people.


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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality#:~:text=Crab mentality%2C also known as,are trapped in a bucket.

People can have a fascination watching someone progressing or doing well break down. With winter being at my new place I have more time to think as matches are not happening. I started shooting seriously in 2015 along with getting a new job. This job has me moving a lot (5 times) and while I've been able to participate at a lot of clubs the last place I was stationed frustrated me a bit. 

Most clubs I got to were generally supportive but some of the shooters at that area are competitive which is fine until it can get toxic. At one point a passive aggressive match director shadow banned me from the fb page of the club and made a foolish post trying to ban me from competing in USPSA. Luckily the Area Director caught it and addressed the issue, this individual is no longer a Match Director. I've also had issues in the past with IDPA clubs cheating to get my score down but I'm not sweating the locals too much. 

 I've been lucky to get support from several companies including the one I work for but shooting is not my job. I've encountered fellow competitors that have made very backhanded comments towards me and hold me in contempt. Often stating the "Oh how come you and not me?". If I don't do well at a match several are quick to point it out. I enjoy competing and improving with others but sometimes the improvement of others shows a less humble side and sometimes the smack talk can uncover some other feelings. 

This is also extended with social media. It took me a minute but I'm more focused on overall match performance than classification but people will hold classification over my head a lot. (B in 4 divisions and about 1%-0.08% to A in several of them). Some days are better than others but how do some of the high level competitors deal with people that are waiting for them to fail? Thanks. 

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I've had the same problem at various clubs over the years and finally made the connection that the only common denominator between clubs was....ME.

 

My approach and attitude was causing the friction between me and the 'crab' people.  I have much less friction now that I understand the source.

 

 

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11 minutes ago, Ming the Merciless said:

I've had the same problem at various clubs over the years and finally made the connection that the only common denominator between clubs was....ME.

 

My approach and attitude was causing the friction between me and the 'crab' people.  I have much less friction now that I understand the source.

 

 

I like me.

 

my worlds centers around me, so I will be the common denominator is all such interactions.

 

If I could subtract me from that outlook I could assure 'me' that is is me.

 

so I am sure it ain't all me.

 

my problem is not crabs. I have noticed a lot of self centered people tho'

 

miranda

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13 hours ago, Doge said:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality#:~:text=Crab mentality%2C also known as,are trapped in a bucket.

People can have a fascination watching someone progressing or doing well break down. With winter being at my new place I have more time to think as matches are not happening. I started shooting seriously in 2015 along with getting a new job. This job has me moving a lot (5 times) and while I've been able to participate at a lot of clubs the last place I was stationed frustrated me a bit. 

Most clubs I got to were generally supportive but some of the shooters at that area are competitive which is fine until it can get toxic. At one point a passive aggressive match director shadow banned me from the fb page of the club and made a foolish post trying to ban me from competing in USPSA. Luckily the Area Director caught it and addressed the issue, this individual is no longer a Match Director. I've also had issues in the past with IDPA clubs cheating to get my score down but I'm not sweating the locals too much. 

 I've been lucky to get support from several companies including the one I work for but shooting is not my job. I've encountered fellow competitors that have made very backhanded comments towards me and hold me in contempt. Often stating the "Oh how come you and not me?". If I don't do well at a match several are quick to point it out. I enjoy competing and improving with others but sometimes the improvement of others shows a less humble side and sometimes the smack talk can uncover some other feelings. 

This is also extended with social media. It took me a minute but I'm more focused on overall match performance than classification but people will hold classification over my head a lot. (B in 4 divisions and about 1%-0.08% to A in several of them). Some days are better than others but how do some of the high level competitors deal with people that are waiting for them to fail? Thanks. 

 

Get off social media.  Make that your number 1 move.

 

Ignore blowhards, tools, and douchebags in real life.  Look past them.  Do not acknowledge anything they say or do.

 

I will say this, the bolded parts in your post should be alarm bells for you.  Happens once?  Look at the other person.  Happens more than once and in different places?  Maybe time to look in the mirror.

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2 hours ago, SGT_Schultz said:

 

Get off social media.  Make that your number 1 move.

 

Ignore blowhards, tools, and douchebags in real life.  Look past them.  Do not acknowledge anything they say or do.

 

I will say this, the bolded parts in your post should be alarm bells for you.  Happens once?  Look at the other person.  Happens more than once and in different places?  Maybe time to look in the mirror.


I've done self reflection and to clarify on the bold parts they did this to other competitors they felt were "improving too fast" that's why that individual is no longer a MD and as for the IDPA club well all I'm gonna say is that I was the new guy and just stopped shooting there. For the first guy that tried to get me banned the Area Director did not appreciate his arguement and when the Assistant MD told the MD what he was doing was wrong the MD doubled down and tried to call the cops on him and "fired" him. Luckily the good part that came from it was we made another USPSA club in the local area that is doing well after I've moved and it has an enjoyable atmosphere.

I made this post because before that last location I did not have this kind of problem in USPSA and it's telling. You are right on social media and ignoring the blowhards and douchebags. What rattles me is how some people are nice in person but on social media they become pretty nasty. I'm pretty friendly and do my best to help people but I've noticed it can be seen as an invitation that I could be taken advantage of. 

I am happy that this new location I moved to the clubs have been pretty good and competitors are classy. Just posted this because like you said with social media even though you leave an area people can still try and be petty and classless.  

 

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I had a career where I did travel as a consultant.  I got to shoot at many clubs (16+).  They all had a personality/culture that was uniquely identifiable.  No judgement here yet, just the fact of the matter.

 

During those 10 years or so, there was only one club that was 'somewhat hostile' to a newcomer. I walked off before paying for the match.

 

But I am just an average shooter and always willing to help out.  Regardless, there are still petty jerks out there.  Pretty much every club has one or a few.  It is worse when it is the MD or range owner.

 

 

 

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On 2/24/2021 at 5:21 AM, SGT_Schultz said:

 

Get off social media.  Make that your number 1 move.

 

This is fantastic advice.  I did it 4 years ago...thought it would be difficult.  It was easy and made life much more enjoyable.  No regrets.

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I wonder if the "Crab mentality" is more prevalent regionally? I haven't been shooting long, 3 years and the 3 clubs that I go to locally are very encouraging places to be. I feel bad for the sport to hear that cranky MD are "almost" running off new people from being active shooters and active volunteers at the clubs.

 

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I thought the same as others when I read your original post...if its following you around, maybe its not the others?  Or you could just have some really bad luck.  
Seems strange because at least in my area (NorthEast) 95% of the people are friendly and supportive, although we all joke around sarcastically.  Any chance you're misinterpreting sarcasm or playful banter?

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if on the road you travel, all others are going the other way...

they may all know something you don't.

 

since I know how to defuse bombs,  I assume they are smart.

 

you may have other opinions.

miranda

 

 

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I shoot at several different clubs in the Northeast Ohio region. I can say I have not seen this crab people behavior in my clubs. My experience has been that shooters of all skill levels are very accepted and welcomed. For the most part the people that come out to shoot in our area have proper decent attitudes which may contribute to why I don't recognize the crab people. Those with the bad attitudes typically end up sorting themselves and phase out of the scene. Our clubs do sort of have "cliques" but these are generally just a group a close knit buddies not so much the typical definition of a clique being a narrow exclusive circle or group of persons. These guys don't shut anyone out or get mad at an upcoming shooters they are actually very helpful and willing to mentor an upcoming shooter. I can imagine no matter the club if someone was to come busting in behaving like "Mr. Big s#!t somebody" that this person would not be well received. Our area has several top level national competitors and these guys are as humble as can be.  

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I've seen this dynamic at times. It seems it can be almost dependent on the club or even the squad at times. 

 

One thing that always helps is showing up for multiple matches, at least in my experience. Having moved a few times I can say that the first time I have showed up at new clubs, assuming I knew nobody (most times the case), it can be a little chili in the reception department. But different areas have been different. 

 

When I moved to Arkansas I wasn't too far removed from a more active role in the sport. So when I shot matches generally I knew people and the reception was great. When I moved to Pittsburgh it was actually Vince (Vluc) here on the forums that helped me integrate with little issue. Specifically on the USPSA front. I would say a couple of the IDPA matches I shot I was received with much more trepidation. After a couple of matches though that went away. 

 

Here in New England again I think the first couple of matches were, not stand off ish, but I didn't really have anybody coming up saying "hey, welcome, haven't seen you before. Do you need any info or help?" But, in owning my own dynamic in all of this, I am not a terribly social person. I also didn't reach out and say "hey, I'm Jack, I'm new here but I've been shooting for a while - just wanted to introduce myself." So I own as much of that as anyone else. Generally I signed up, went to my squad, and just let my work show for itself. I would say that I try and tape or reset after nearly every shooter. Or I'll take the board. Generally people don't immediately hand off the clock if they don't know you but all other duties tend to be up for grabs. So I jump all over that. To that end it's hard to say "this guy is an a_-hole" when I've taped for every shooter unless I was on deck. 

 

Next month I'm shooting a new match at a new club though and I've heard already that reception can be chili. I think that's ok. Better knowing it going in. And again I'll just work my butt off, shoot as best I can, and generally speaking people loosen up after that. At least that's my experience. 

 

J

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I fully agree with j1b's stance on this topic.

 

Over the years I have had the opportunity to attend USPSA matches all over the nation. Many times attending these matches on my own without knowing anyone else at the match before going. When attending a match I have never been to before there is always a slightly awkward time at the start where the other competitors, squad mates or match staff keep you at a distance in order to size you up.

 

First impressions are important and based on your actions, or lack there of, it will set the tone for how others will interact with you going forward. I like to break the ice with my squad mates by engaging them in small talk that is directly relevant to them or what they know. Such as "Oh, you are using XYZ pistol. Those are nice!!! How do you like it?" or "Do you know where the safe area is?" or "Are there any stages that still need help with setup?". This gives them an opportunity to engage in a conversation about a topic they know about and it also shows them that this isn't your first match. Beyond that I will try my best to lead by example when it comes to helping with ROing or resetting the stage after each shooter. In my experience, when the squad sees that you are willing to step up and help them churn through the stages they quickly warm up to you.

 

If you are regularly attending matches at new clubs and receiving an unwelcome vibe from the locals, then its more than likely due to something you are doing to promote that reception. There are several unacceptable behaviors while attending matches which will put you in the "He is one of THOSE GUYS....." first impression category. If you don't know what those unacceptable behaviors are then that is the first issue to resolve.  

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14 minutes ago, CHA-LEE said:

There are several unacceptable behaviors while attending matches which will put you in the "He is one of THOSE GUYS....." first impression category. If you don't know what those unacceptable behaviors are then that is the first issue to resolve.  

 

Fully agree.  At a Steel Challenge match, repainting the steel can get down right messy.  With a swirling wind, it's very easy to paint your shooting glasses, coat, gloves (yes we shoot SC in the Michigan winter) and probably your shoes if the spray can drips.  It still has to be done.  Don't be the person that thinks that only the "newbies" have to paint.  Grab a can while the shooter is completing their 3rd or 4th string and be ready to walk downrange as soon as the RO states "Range Clear".

 

BC

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On 2/25/2021 at 11:30 PM, waktasz said:

If there are multiple MDs from different sports out to get you, maybe it's you.


It was honestly just that one USPSA MD but he's stepped down and got corrected, as the the previous IDPA incidents at the same club the MD got wind of it and it was a small group of people that were hooking up their friends and penalizing people they didn't like (sound familiar?). I've been very fortunate for MDs being cordial and correcting unsportsmanlike conduct from petty people. 

I've shot in 4 different USPSA areas and clubs due to moving around and work but the last place I was at one club made me go "WTF?" in my head. One of my buddies brought me to this match and on the car ride from it I told him that's not the norm mentality. He moved to another place and said "Yeah dude, that was not normal". 

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On 2/26/2021 at 9:20 AM, Nightforce said:

I shoot at several different clubs in the Northeast Ohio region. I can say I have not seen this crab people behavior in my clubs. My experience has been that shooters of all skill levels are very accepted and welcomed. For the most part the people that come out to shoot in our area have proper decent attitudes which may contribute to why I don't recognize the crab people. Those with the bad attitudes typically end up sorting themselves and phase out of the scene. Our clubs do sort of have "cliques" but these are generally just a group a close knit buddies not so much the typical definition of a clique being a narrow exclusive circle or group of persons. These guys don't shut anyone out or get mad at an upcoming shooters they are actually very helpful and willing to mentor an upcoming shooter. I can imagine no matter the club if someone was to come busting in behaving like "Mr. Big s#!t somebody" that this person would not be well received. Our area has several top level national competitors and these guys are as humble as can be.  


I'm in OH now and have met some great competitors and have a good time at matches. No crab people encounters which is great. 

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UPDATE: So looking at the fact that I've shot at over 20 different clubs while moving I'm pretty lucky that it's only 1 USPSA Club (MD has been replaced) and 2 IDPA Clubs I've had this crab people issue. This is actually nice as you can't please everyone but you can upset a lot of people. Thanks for the insight and also cutting back on social media and just enjoying my shooting. 

Thanks for the insight and also sharing personal experiences. 

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On 2/27/2021 at 10:16 AM, Doge said:


I'm in OH now and have met some great competitors and have a good time at matches. No crab people encounters which is great. 

Where in Ohio? Maybe we have crossed paths

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13 hours ago, SGT_Schultz said:

Turns out Doge and I know each other personally.

 

He's one of the good guys.

Thanks! I'm renting the good guy title and have to pay rent every day hahaha. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

My advice would be listen to David Goggins, people will always throw rocks at someone else trying harder. It makes their insecurities feel less. Stay strong and focus on you. Peoples ego will be the down fall of them. Stay humble and ever forward!

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