"is This William Wagenhoss?"

[Merlin Orr]

The phone rang as we were sitting down to dinner. I answered it and was greeted with, "Is this William Wagenhoss?"

This didn't sound anything like my name, so I asked, "Who is calling?"

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that. I asked him if he knew William personally and why was he was calling this number.

I then said, off to the side, "Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood."

I turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear at the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.

I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call. The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.

I proceeded to tell him we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody. At this point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me as I returned to our table, why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes. My food was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable

[Larry White]

I dont care if you want a shotgun or not, I just deleted you ph#, not worth taking a chance on punching a wrong number.-----Good one-----Larry

[dajarrel]

My food was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ohhhhhh. you are such a devious man.

I Like that in a person

dj

[Patrick Sweeney]

Gotta write that one down.....

[tightloop]

Good Job Merlin...

[toowide]

found an audio version of this. too funny. can't get it to upload.

Edited October 4, 2006 by toowide

[carinab]

In high school I volunteered to work for a missing children's foundation as a driver delivering concert tickets/collecting donation checks. A lot of charities hire "boiler" rooms to do this type of fund raising. Usually it's a huge room just full of folks, each at a desk with a phone. I walked into the office one day and I overhead this conversation coming from one of the guys.

"No crap, this is the number for the city morgue?"

"Well, can you open a few drawers and check the toe tags to see if Mr. Welby is there? That way I can check him off our list."

"No, you don't have a Welby there. Mkay. Say, have you ever met Quincy - you know - from the TV show? Like, don't you Medical Examiners have conventions and stuff that you go to? You know, to compare horror stories."

"Oh, so you've never met Quincy. How'd you end up with this job anyway? Did you screw up in med school so they'll only let you carve up dead people?"

"Hey, do any of the stiffs have a wallet on them? All I need is one credit card number."

The guy did cold calls by day and was a stand up comedian at night. He often went into those kinds of routines when someone would yank his chain. You never knew what he would say next.

Edited October 4, 2006 by carinab

[Hank Ellis]

Beats my 'killed in a horrible train accident' line. Good one.

Edited October 4, 2006 by Hank Ellis