What's the most embarrassing thing you've done ...

[lumpygravy]

twice, in public, while sober?

I'll go first:

I'm a seasonal bike commuter in SF so riding the streets and in traffic is not really a big deal for me. I've even been able to learn to do track stands at stop signs, red lights, etc....

So I hit a little stop-n-go traffic and roll into my stand waiting for a gap between stopped cars. It's a slight downhill incline and my front wheel is at a pretty acute angle but I'm holding my stop no problem. A gap opens and I go for it... except my shoe gets stuck against the front wheel (remember the angle) and I flop like raw chicken skin on the kitchen floor.

Tons of pedestrians and drivers and other onlookers all around and I can just hear them all thinking "What a moron."

Same thing happened again a few weeks later in a different location. I mis-timed a light and started before I had the green. A bunch of other bike commuters behind me had to go around my personal fail - at least I didn't make anyone else fall.

[NFLcavediver]

How come you're the only one to post here? Just remember that 56" is different than 5'6" when you put a piece of 1/2" plate in a shear, twice.

[Tom S.]

Well, he did stipulate in public while sober, so that narrows it down a bit. Still, there have been so many and I've been trying so hard to forget them that none seem to spring to mind.

[Yeti]

Most embarrassing? Posting it? Hell no.

Your post does remind me of way back when I started riding (MTB) clipless. I get to the end of a technical section and everyone is waiting/watching in a group. I clean all the obstacles and come roaring up to the group all cocky...I stop...flail awkwardly and fall over hard.

Yup, that guy.

[Shmella]

I wouldn't say MOST embarrassing but embarrassing enough to share. I sent a goodmorning text to my girlfriends brother yesterday. Obviously intended for his sister... It was very brief and short. Could have been a lot worse if I put more thought into it or was trying to be funny that morning.

[kevin c]

I was in my second year of medical school doing clinical rotations, the first experience with patient care rather than dealing with textbooks. Outpatient gynecology and we students are peering over the attending physician's shoulder as he describes and performs the standard examination on a patient who was gracious enough to allow the students their learning experience.

The attending snaps off his gloves, turns around, fixes me with steely gaze and says, "OK, your turn."

As I fumble around, desperately trying to do things right, the sympathetic patient says to me, "Is this the first time you've done this?"

I didn't realize what I said until it was out of my mouth: "Um, well, professionally, yeah..."

I think they're still telling that one at the school, 36 years later...gawd....

Edited April 2, 2016 by kevin c

[GrumpyOne]

Stopped at a Jiffy store to get a cup of coffee. ..as I was getting out of the truck, the wife hands me a staxk of scratch off lottery tickets, all winners to some degree or other...I walk in, get my coffee, walk up to the counter, set the coffee down, a.d hand the girl the lottery tickets....scans one...beeerrrrpppp, scans another...beeeerrrrpppp, scans another...beeerrrpppp. "I'm sorry, I can't cash these." "Why not? They aren't out date or anything! "...."Sir, these lottery tickets are not from this state." The wife had grabbed a whole bunch of Florida tickets and handed them to me thinking they were KY tickets...

I went back into that store, 6 months later...and as I was checking out, the counter girl looks at me and says "You're from Florida, aren't you?"

[Flatland Shooter]

OK, I'll bite.

Many years ago I was flying from Cleveland to West Texas. Not a fan of flying, on my last layover in Dallas I decided to stiffen up with a little liquid courage.

So several hours later (relaxed but still quite sober) I go to the gate and board my flight. Settle into my seat and about to doze off when the flight attendant announces that the flight is full and we have one too many on board. Please check your ticket and verify you are headed to Lubbock.

After repeating the announcement two more times I remembered I was going to Midland.

Slowly walked off the plane making eye contact with no one.

Edited April 2, 2016 by Flatland Shooter

[SiG Lady]

The day I ate a fortune cookie--fortune and all. I was hungry. I was 12 years old. We all had an uproarious laff over it when it came time to read my fortune out loud. I simply said, "Oh my God, I ate it!!" It was genuinely funny and I was embarrassed only for about two seconds. But I remember it like it was yesterday.

I think kevin c wins the prize for this thread, however.

[Doug H.]

I was working as a helicopter mechanic and installing some equipment for a movie on a Jet Ranger. All the passengers and another mechanic were crowded around the helicopter and a pretty woman was in the front seat holding a small monitor. I was trying to find a place to put a battery that was to power the film electrical system and I asked her "do you mind if I put the power between your legs?" The other mechanic walked up to me laughing and I was a bit surprised until he told me what I said and the light came on. Oops!

Doug

[lumpygravy]

Funny stuff folks.

Did anyone else notice that all of the replies started on April 1st?