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Talking dog


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A man was out for a drive one day and noticed a sign in a yard that read 'Talking Dog For Sale'.He walked up to the house and on the porch lay a dog.He asked the dog if he could talk and the dog replied " Yes I can". The man asked the dog to tell him more about himself. The dog went on to say that he knew early on in life that he had a special talent so he went to work for the CIA as a spy. He would travel around the world sitting in on secret meetings and recording them with a device hidden in his collar.He later worked for the FBI eavesdropping on jailed terrorist suspects.He said that now he was retired and he was going to settle down with a French Poodle he met in Paris .The man was amazed that this dog had led such a life and he asked the man who lived at the house how much he wanted for him.The dog's owner replied "I will take $10 for him".The man was surprised and asked the dog's owner why the price was so low for a talking dog that had worked as a spy all his life.The dog's owner replied"Because that dog is a damn lier,He never did any of that stuff".

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or this one.......

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in its mouth reading: "10 lamb chops, please."

Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.

As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off.

The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and

waits at the front door.

A big guy opens it and starts cursing and berating the dog. The butcher runs up screams at the guy: "What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!"

The owner responds, "Genius, my ass. It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!!!"

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