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Too Fast For Me


Merlin Orr

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Too Fast For Me

A young girl (18ish) walks into a prestige car salesroom...

She looks around at all the Porsches, Lamborghini's, Jags etc., and says to the salesman...

"Can I have the red one?" - a top of the range Porsche. "I'll pay cash" and starts taking handfuls of bills out of a carrier bag until she gets to the right price.

The deal is finalized very quickly and the girl drives it away.

She's back two days later, "I want my money back...it smells

awfully bad when I use the brakes," she states emphatically.

Not wanting to lose the sale (having taken cash and fiddled the books)... the manager decides to ride in the car with her in case she is not driving it 'properly'.

He gets in and she roars out of the dealership, drops it into second gear at 55 mph, floors the pedal again and slips into 3rd at 80 mph, does a handbrake turn into a country lane and then really starts to accelerate. At 120 mph she shifts into 4th gear; at 145 mph she goes into 5th gear...the engine is screaming, trying to leap out of the hood when it reaches 170 mph. The scenery is a green blur and the G-force

has him pinned in the seat.

In the distance, to his relief, the barriers of a train crossing are beginning to come down and she will have to slow down.

Instead the pitch of the engine increases!

100 yards from the crossing she slams on the brakes and the car comes to a screeching halt mere inches from the barrier.

"Can you smell it?" she says.

"SMELL IT? I'M SITTING IN IT!"

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