Ross Carter Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 Hate may be a strong word, maybe disappointed with the world is a better description. On another forum a guy was proud to say he got picked for his High School trap team and was looking for a trap bag/shell holder. I happen to have a several nice ones left over from when I shot trap and went thru several to find one that I liked. I probably should have thought about the implications a little more but I just sent the guy a message and offered to give him one as I had extras I didn't need and it's great to be able to help young people get started in shooting. A few days later I got a reply from him, he was very apologetic but said he would have to decline the offer. His mother couldn't understand why some stranger on the internet would just give her son something and was suspicious of my motives. He said he tried to explain it to her but she said no and he had to honor his mothers wishes. At first I was completely dumbfounded and a little insulted but after further reflection I started to understand her point. I never even considered there would be any concerns, the shooting community is made up of some of the most generous people around. Maybe my judgement was clouded by the fact I was the recipient of an outpouring of support and help from the shooting community that was just tremendous. I only regret that I could never thank every person who helped me thru my trials. So the lesson I've learned from this is to contact the parent if possible before offering to gift something to help a teenage shooter. It's sounds logical now, I guess, but all I thought was shooter in need and I happen to have a surplus of what he needed. It's just sad people feel they need to be this cynical about a simple offer. After getting the reply I thought about offering ways to alleviate the mothers concerns (send the bag to his coach) but then that might make me look too eager and just make things worse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFlowers Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 While I can understand the mother's point of view in today's world, this is one of the things I love most about shooters. Of all the various sports and competitions I have been involved with over the years, no one has ever been as "giving" as shooters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Powder Finger Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 and there is how part of the country/world is evolving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind bat Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 Yup, the competitive shooting community is extremely generous and helppful. It's too bad those traits don't apply to society as a whole. The mother needs to shoot a couple matches, then she'll get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedog Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 I, as a step parent, would have reached out to you and tried to sort it out. Then decide if my child would be involved. People paint with a broad brush, it's sad but society isn't the canvas it used to be. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyZip Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 I'd contact the kid, and have his mother contact you. Explain that you care not to ever see her kid, that there are no strings attached, and that this is how it is in the shooting community. Then if she declines you can at least feel that you gave it a decent try. Either that or forget it. I just know that with people, sometimes it depends on the day that you caught them. When they hear it from you they often change their attitude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 When I first encountered the shooting community and participated in various aspects of shooting, I was introduced to the INCREDIBLE generosity and kindness in the shooting crowd I met both locally and across the nation (thanks to this very forum). They're the greatest. I can sort of understand that parent's concern (given the sleazy, demented weasels on the Internet these days), but there must surely be a compromise in this type of situation somehow. Fear is a heavy motivator and can overshadow and even blot out good intentions. Like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I don't know what the answer is to this situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve RA Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Congratulations on your intent, sorry about the result. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EkuJustice Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 (edited) What's sad is even 15 years ago it wouldn't have been an issue but now everyone is so paranoid that every one out there is out to do something bad Edited February 4, 2014 by EkuJustice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 Mom is paying attention, kid is honoring her direction. It turned out ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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