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Biker Bar Story


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:o A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at

the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees

three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up,

staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest,

meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your

grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway

buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"

The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His

buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and

would fight at the drop of a hat.

The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I

got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best

I ever had!"

The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad

but the biker still says nothing.

The drunk leans on the table one more time and

says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma

liked it!"

At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk

by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and


"Grandpa,....... Go home, you're drunk

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This old geezer walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. After a couple minutes looking around the bar he walks over to the best looking woman in the bar. He speaks to her briefly, she laughs and they leave together. This happens for a couple of days each time with a different woman.

Finally "Iron Palm Pete" can't stand it anymore so he grabs the old geezer by the scruff, slams him up against the bar and demands "Hey, you old fart! How can you come in here and pick up the best looking woman every night and I can't even buy a date?"

"Relax my boy. It's very easy. I just approach the woman of my choice and offer to buy her a drink, then say "Tickle your ass with a feather?" If she says sure, off we go, but if she gets offended. I say "I beg your pardon I only said 'Typically nasty weather!" and try a different approach."

Iron Palm Pete drops the old geezer and decides to try this for himself. He walks up to a good looking blonde and says "Stick a feather up your ass?" The woman sprays about half her drink over the bar and says "What did you just say?" Pete looks up and says "Aw shjt, will you look at them damn clouds!"


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  • 5 years later...

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,

Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,

'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

Edited by Merlin Orr
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