Marriage

[Round_Gun_Shooter]

MARRIAGE

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

One good turn gets most of the blankets.

Marriage: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

Men marry because they are tired. Women marry because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her. A man cherishes the memory of the woman who didn't.

There are two times a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

Husbands: Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her way, and the other is to let her have it.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use in two people remembering the same thing.

I've made three notable mistakes in my life. Marrying and divorcing two women and proposing to a third.

If my wife had married my brother-in-law, my sister and I would both be happy.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits, and then complain that he's not the same man she married?

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.

A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things:

1 - Women.

2 - Fractions.