Drive-up ATM Procedures

[diehli]

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

"Please note that this Bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the below outlined procedures when accessing their accounts. MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed after months of careful research. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Turn the radio down.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way up.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check make up in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check make-up again.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver in line behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

26. Release parking brake.

[Scooter]

You left out:

5.1 Find check for deposit.

5.2 Sign check.

5.3 Look up account number from check book.

5.4 Write account number on back of check.

5.5 Verify account number is correct.

5.6 Write deposit amount in check book.

5.7 Balance check book.

17.1 Write withdrawl amount in check book.

17.2 Balance check book.

[BLISH LOCK]

somewhere between 14 and 18 -- turn off blinking turn signal !

or maybe not

[D.Hayden]

And of course...

all this wth one hand holding the cell phone....

But these days, there's no difference in the sexes on this one.

[Dead Buff]

But these days, there's no difference in the sexes on this one.

Judging by the amount of numbnuts running around - you are so right...

[dajarrel]

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: Please note that this bank is installing new

"Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the below outlined procedures when accessing their accounts. MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed after months of careful research.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Roll down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE.

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the

machine

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Turn the radio down.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open the car door to allow easy access to machine due to it's

excessive

distance from the vehicle.

8. Insert card.

9. Reinsert card the right way up.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside

back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check make up in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Recheck make-up again.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot

provided.

23. Give appropriate hand signal to irate male driver lined up behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull away.

25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

26. Release Parking Brake.

[dajarrel]

No I didn't search... But it's been 1-1/2 years since anyone saw it.

It was a good one so......BTT