The Newlyweds

[Merlin Orr]

The newlyweds

Subject:

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband,

although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and

party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be

right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the

bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the

refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from

12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could

think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they

have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted

him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge ! beer

mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just

holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the

bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I

won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took

out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in

blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing,

dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, cutie pie?...

"LISTEN UP, DICK HEAD! DRINK YOUR F**KING BEER IN

YOUR GO**AMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR

MOTHERF***ING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED

NOW, AND YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, a_-hole?"

..and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?

[tightloop]

She might use some swear words, but she don't mean anything by it, cause she's good people!!!

[SiG Lady]

...bless her heart.

[short_round]

... she meant it in the best possible way.

[Kingman]

Thats why my divorce will be final on august 27.

Yippeeeeeeeee.