the truth

[OnlyAlpha1124]

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister/brother hits you, don't hit her/him back. They always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

3) Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone..

[SiG Lady]

LOL...!!!!

RE: No. 1 (Children)

I tried to put a cat into a full bathtub (at age 22 or so)(still a child, I guess) and two things occurred:

a. I came away covered in my own blood (I was wearing a bikini so there was a lot of exposed flesh during the fray, and

b. I discovered that cats can truly levitate.

A painfully funny experience altogether.

[tightloop]

Siggy

This late night posting is going down hill rapidly

We were discussing you in a short plaid skirt, et al, and now we are down to a bikini Whoa Momma

I may stay up till 1 or 2 to see what comes next...

[SiG Lady]

...but ...but, it was a true story!!!!

Hey--go get some sleep. The forum will be here when you get up.

[tightloop]

It's morning...anything else come off while I was away?

[driver8M3]

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

when my cat was just a kitten, i used to spray a little water in his face to punish him for certain things. eventually he started to like the water sprayed in his face. soon, he started walking around the edge of the bathtub while i showered, getting sprayed more and more. then he got really brave and started getting INTO a tub of water and walking around! we have a shower with a door now so he cant do that anymore, but he still loves to stick his head under the sink faucet and let the water run down his face. the first thing i have to do every morning is turn the faucet on for him...