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Happy Birthday Merlin Orr

Paul Burtchell

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60 years old today...

I have learned a few things. Of course I can't remember most of them. A few that come to mind are.....

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live


I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you

hit the target.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

And finally...

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

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Happy Birthday Merlin. Proud to call you friend.

"You Know

You're Getting Old When....."

* The little old gray haired lady you help across the street is your wife.

* Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

* A fortune teller offers to read your face.

* Everything hurts; and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

* Your back goes out more than you do.

* You feel like the morning after when you haven't been anywhere the night before.

* You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.

* Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

* Your children begin to look middle aged.

* Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

* You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

* It takes twice as long to look half as good.

* You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

* Your knees buckle and your belt won't.

* You and your teeth don't sleep together.

* Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

* You regret all those mistakes you made resisting temptation.

* Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

* You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

* You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

* Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

* Your ears are hairier than your head.

* You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

* You shop for health insurance the way you once shopped for a new car.

* Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.

* You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 106 around the golf course.

* You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

* You can live without sex but not without your glasses.

* You don't remember when your wild oats turned to shredded wheat.

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