Over the Hill ?

[dajarrel]

Over the Hill ?

You may be headed that way if . .

You and your teeth don't sleep together.

You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

At the breakfast table, you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

Your back goes out but you stay home.

You wake up looking like your

driver's license photo.

It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

When your idea of a night out is

sitting on the patio.

When happy hour is a nap.

When you're on vacation and your energy

runs out before your money does.

When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.

When all you want for your birthday

is to not be reminded of your age.

When you step off the curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.

Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

Your memory is shorter and

your complaining lasts longer.

Your address book has mostly

names that start with Dr.

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

Getting "lucky" means you found your car

in the parking lot.

The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

It takes twice as long - to look half as good.

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt,

doesn't work.

You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

You sink your teeth into a steak -

and they stay there.

You give up all your bad habits and

still don't feel good.

You have more patience, but it is actually

that you just don't care anymore.

You finally get your head together and

your body starts falling apart.

You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

[SiG Lady]

"You wake up looking like your driver's license photo."

...Which goes very well with:

"It takes twice as long - to look half as good."

Ouch... both too true.

LOL!!

[Merlin Orr]

Here's more....

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking

about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents

and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little

dull, but that's not the worst of it.

My fenders are too wide to be considered stylish. They were

once as sleek as a little MG; now they look more like an old

Buick.

My seat cushions have split open at the seams. My seats are

sagging. Seat belts? I gave up all belts when Krispy Cremes

opened a shop in my neighborhood.!

Air bag's? Forget it. The only bags I have these days are

under my eyes. Not counting the saddlebags, of course.

I have soooooo many miles on my odometer. Sure, I've been many

places and seen many things, but when's the last time an

appraiser factored life experiences against depreciation?

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see

things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and

slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of

weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it - almost every time I sneeze, cough

or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires

[tightloop]

Merlin has the answers once again......

[SiG Lady]

"Sure, I've been many places and seen many things, but when's the last time an appraiser factored life experiences against depreciation?"

Just substitute the word "employer" for "appraiser" and you have another critical factor in the life of a 'mature' person.

[TBF]

Just being old won't make you mature, just ask my wife ...

Travis F.

[dajarrel]

Merlin,

That was great.

dj

[bpowe]

or to quote Henry Fonda in that old spegetti western, "My name is Nobody"...

"The years don't bring wisdom, just old age."