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Men


Dalmas

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Men are like.....Coffee.

The best ones are rich, warm, full-bodied

and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like.....Cement.

After getting laid, they take a long time

to get hard.

Men are like.....Chocolate Bars.

Sweet, smooth & they usually head right for

your hips.

Men are like.....Blenders.

You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like.....Eskies.

Load them with beer and you can take them

anywhere.

Men are like.....Photocopiers.

You need them for reproduction, but that's

about it.

Men are like.....Curling irons.

They're always hot, and they're always

in your hair.

Men are like.....Government Bonds.

They take so long to mature.

Men are like.....High heels.

They're easy to walk on once you get

the hang of it.

Men are like.....Horoscopes.

They always tell you what to do and

are usually wrong.

Men are like.....Lawn Mowers.

If you're not pushing one around, then

you're riding it.

Men are like....Lava lamps.

Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like.....Mascara.

They usually run at the first sign of

emotion.

Men are like.....Mini skirts.

If you're not careful, they'll creep

up your thighs.

Men are like.....Noodles.

They're always in hot water, they lack

taste, and they need dough.

Men are like.....Parking spots.

The good ones are already taken and the

ones that are left are either handicapped

or extremely small.

Men are like.....Popcorn.

They satisfy you, but only for a little

while.

Men are like.....Placemats.

They only show up when there's food on

the table.

Men are like.....Snowstorms.

You never know when he's coming, how many

inches you'll get or how long he will last.

Men are like.....Vacations.

They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like.....Weather.

Nothing can be done to change either one

of them.

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Don't forget..Men are like tile, lay them right the first time and you can walk on them forever. ;) These are funny but not at all true. TXAG

"what's the similarity between blondes and railroad tracks?......both have been laid all over the world"...

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(More gender humour from St. Louis...) :P

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want..

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

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MEN'S ENGLISH:

My vocabulary is not that wide!!! :blink:

I'm kinda SWIFT guy:

Sex = ...don't have to explain it...

Wine = I'm thirsty

Idiot = you a§§#@*e, you're wasting my time

Food = I'm hungry

Tired = get outta here, I wanna sleep!

:lol::P:lol::D

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