tightloop Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Siggy You noticed that too....WOW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted February 11, 2006 Share Posted February 11, 2006 Subject: What the Hey A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.40AET Posted February 11, 2006 Share Posted February 11, 2006 Merlin- You just kill me. I can't stop laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted February 11, 2006 Share Posted February 11, 2006 ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH...!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dajarrel Posted February 11, 2006 Share Posted February 11, 2006 She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken." Great one dj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrell Spicer Posted February 11, 2006 Share Posted February 11, 2006 I've looked at this almost a brazilian times and it's still funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted February 11, 2006 Share Posted February 11, 2006 Very nice... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwana Six-Gun Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Question: What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes? Answer: The interpreter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 They are really like this too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They went to see "Closed for the Winter." ********************************************************* Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours. ******************************************************** A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing? The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first." *********************************************************** A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face. "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting glasses." "I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames. ************************************************************ A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . . it keeps some things hot and some things cold" "Wow," said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he asked. "Why, that's a thermos . . it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it? " The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee" ******************************************************** A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features. Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone. The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said, "how do you like your new phone?" Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though..." "What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband. "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 God, I hope my sweetie doesn't read this thread, she is a blond...albeit, from a bottle, but a blond nevertheless...Merlin you'd be in real trouble... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 God, I hope my sweetie doesn't read this thread, she is a blond...albeit, from a bottle, but a blond nevertheless...Merlin you'd be in real trouble... So..like ahh...whats new with that?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I guess I misspoke, you are indeed always in trouble..just not with MY sweetie, usually just with Mrs Merlin and probably Merlinette.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ima45dv8 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 A blond came home with a new car. She was celebrating with her roommate how she did all the research and comparisons by herself, and had settled on the ideal car, all without the assistance of her father or her boyfriend. "What kind did you get?" asked the roommate. With a perfect toss of her empty head to flip the hair from one side to the other, she replied, "Well, DUH!...a BLUE one!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 My Story! I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing? I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What are you doing ?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days." I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, "...And where do you think you're going?" The blonde explained, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Alright Now....Most of the blondes I have knows did some of their best work in almost total darkness..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bayoupirate Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I love the blonde jokes. Personally I like brunettes. That's why I married a blonde. and Sig. YES on the bald women. A blonde is driving very fast to work one day and is pulled over by a blonde state trooper. The trooper ask to see her license. The blonde looks confused, go figure, so the trooper says, "it's that little thing in your purse with your picture on it." The blonde driver promtly get out her makeup mirror and hands it to the blonde trooper. The blonde trooper looks at the mirror and says to the blonde driver, " I'm sorry, if I had known you were a trooper, I wouldn't have pulled you over." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?" "Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?" "Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already, so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble." "I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went. Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. "What the heck are you doing here?" he dmanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo." "Yes, I know you did," said the blonde, "but we had money left over---so now we're going to Sea World. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Actually, the Blond Jokes are getting pretty clever these days.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Sea World...I like it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bayoupirate Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 You know it's a good blonde joke, when the true blonds don't get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trisha Lowry Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Ok I know my blonde roots are showing now but...... Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She ! says, I just graduated from a Catholic Seminary and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees; beg for her forgiveness, and release her. The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law, and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and, again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately fall to their knees; beg for her forgiveness, and release her. The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Louisville and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, y'all ain't gonna electrocute nobody until you plug this thing in." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Whoa!! A reverse-blond-joke!!!! OUTSTANDING!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Is that a blonde joke or a UofL joke? Is there such a thing as a joke drift? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dajarrel Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 A very attractive blonde woman from Texas arrived at a casino and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope y'all don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching." Moral - Not all Texans are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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